Gravity Falls Season 3
by TheLastTscheapwhetzar
Summary: An unplanned season 3 of the hit show Gravity Falls begins when the Tscheapwhetzar invades Alex Hirsch's story. His presence sets into motion a series of events that pull Mabel and Dipper back to the Falls for a showdown with a whole new enemy and with new mysteries. Gravity falls is the property of Disney and the awesome creation of Alex Hirsch.
1. Episode 1 - An Ancient Evil

Underneath the starry sky of Gravity Falls, deep in a spooky part of the woods where some old signs read "This Way to Mystery Shack!" and "Cheap?" lay the statue of Bill Cipher. It had some bird and squirrel droppings collecting on, along with some brave gnome graffiti. His hand was raised towards some unknown guest or friend. Soos had only once played around with the idea of having patrons at the Shack pay 50 bucks to shake hands with the once chaos god.

That night, three people did come to shake hands with the devil. The air distorted and swirled in a perfect circle, and a hole opened. Beyond the circle was a long, stone bridge leading to a tall tower of black and white stone. Spaceships, dragons, and fairies flew around it, and three hooded figures strode out. The portal closed after them. One hooded figure had thick antlers stabbing through the cloth of his hood and a skeletal mouth just visible under the cowl. The second was much taller than the other two, and pale eyes shown in the night like two sick moons. The third was much shorter, with piercing red eyes.

The third visitor strode up to Bill and spoke to the other two, "Take your positions and cast up the barrier. I want to make sure that he cannot escape, nor alerts this world to our presence."

"Understood," the first said with a silky voice.

"Sauron," the third said, to the second. "Once we have taken this chaotic triangle for a test drive, I want you to be his mentor. Switching to my side can be a little jarring. Show him the ropes."

"That might be a little impossible," Sauron rumbled from within his hood. "A creature like Cipher doesn't change what it is just because it is in a different environment."

"Yes, but he can be directed towards a useful goal, for us," the third replied. "Barrier up!"

The two threw up their hands and chanted. A black fog covered them and made a dome around the gathering, preventing all magic from escaping. The third grasped Bill's hand and shook it, the stone beginning to come to life.

"Bill, I summon your soul through this link within your corpse and pull you forth!"

The third yanked hard and Bill's ethereal form flew out of the statue.

"Woah! Woah! Hey! Oh… Oh my, Gravity Falls! I'm back! I'm really back! Ha! I have returned and, oh wait a moment."

The chaos demon looked down at his hands and body, and then back to the statue.

"Nooooo! This is all wrong! My spell, the incantation, it called for the Axolotl!"

"I decided to take his place," the third said. "I am here to collect you Bill. I have a proposition for you, a mutually beneficial contract that I think you will find most tempting."

Bill looked at the red eyed man for a moment, and then at the other two. He started laughing.

"Oh boy, I didn't think I would meet you in the flesh! Well, I'm not in the flesh, but you are! Squishy, squishy! So the Cheap-cheap and some has been villains from old stories are here to propose something to me. Shoot. Maybe I'll take you up on it. Maybe…"

The red eyed man laughed back at him. "So, you do know about Tscheapwhetzars, huh? Very nice."

"Of course I do! I was a great admirer of the work the old ones did, causing wars and assassinating people all over the place, stealing worlds, destroying lives. Great stuff! And then people like you came along."

"I may take that as a compliment, you know."

"Well don't," Bill snapped. "Say what you were going to say, and then I'll be out of here."

"No can do," the Tscheapwhetzar chided.

"We have you trapped, Cipher," the first said.

"Well, it isn't old Hornsy, who got sucked into a cauldron. Nice going there, you ol' fart bag," Bill gave the Horned Kinga thumbs up.

"Before I let the Horned King stuff you into the Cauldron, Bill, here is my offer: Come work with me to hunt down some creatures, rebel rousers like yourself, but who have no finesse."

"That is indeed a serious crime," Bill simpered.

The Tscheapwhetzar continued, "And in return for your services, I will give you free reign in how you conduct your part of the operations, and you will have a chance to get back at the Pines for what they did to you." He then gestured at the statue. "Should you fail in that endeavor, I get to decide when your next meeting with them will be. Fair?"

Bill tapped his foot in the air and then said, "What if I refused? I could always wait for my actual spell to kick in."

"You could be waiting a _very_ long time," was the answer.

"I play the long game, bub," Bill replied.

"Your long game was already lost," Sauron spat. "Things will be very different from what you expect. Believe me. Take this chance for freedom. It might just be the best thing you ever did."

"I dunno… Destroying an entire dimension was a real party! If you think I might be able to do that again?"

"It might be in the cards," the Tscheapwhetzar admitted with a small smile.

"And I can get back at those Pine," Bill asked eagerly. "You swear it?"

"Yesssss," the Tscheapwhetzar hissed, bearing his teeth in a maniacal grin.

Blue flames erupted around Bill's hand. "Then- we have ourselves a little deal."

Red lightning flowed from the Tscheapwhetzar's hand as he took Bill's and it coursed through the ghost. "We have made a _Contract_."

Mark Epstine awoke to the sound of that blasted alarm clock ringing. He brought his fist down painfully onto the nightstand, missing the clock as it danced to the edge and plummeted to the floor. The annoying sound continued to drone on until Mark rolled out of bed and onto the floor to retrieve the clock. It was 6:30 in the morning and there was no reason he should be up this early for school, except to complete his daily ritual of texting Wendy. In fact, he did this at least three times a day: Once in the early morning, again at noon, and ending the day with an attempt at starting a late night conversation.

Wendy Corduroy had been hands down the best thing that had ever happened to him. She had also been the one to deliver him his greatest heartache. The tall, beautiful, and impossibly cool redhead had been his girlfriend for the last few weeks of the previous school year. They had talked about trying a long-distance relationship since she had been bound to go to her cousin's logging camp upstate. However, she managed to get a job at the local tourist trap, the Mystery Shack. He had been super happy about that, because that would have meant that they could spend the whole summer together. Unfortunately, she began avoiding him and would never return his calls or texts. It was like she was always at work or with that gang of hers, because he could never catch her at home either.

But Mark remained undaunted as he continued to reach out to her. They had had such a fantastic time dating at the end of school that he couldn't figure what had happened between them. He had to get her back! But then he received the worst news possible, she was dating Robbie Valentino! They became an official couple at Stan Pines' cheap carnival. He might have had a chance, but had to work and his dumb boss hadn't let him get time off. Those had been the worst days of his summer vacation, when those two were together, and Mark had even lived through being turned to stone and being made a part of a throne to some god of chaos!

And then Wendy and Robbie inexplicably broke up. Mark had heard that Wendy's employer Stanford Pines and one of her coworkers had facilitated the breakup. They were able to prove to her what Mark had known all along, that Robbie was a good for nothing jerk. She could do better. He had tried extra hard to be there for her after her break up. He had shown up at her house with some ice cream and tried to comfort her. She had let him know that it was sweet for him to think about her. That had made him feel like he was dancing on cloud nine! But then she started talking about this other guy, Dipper Pines. Apparently her boss's great nephew was the other employee who had helped break them up. At first she had raged about how this twelve year old had butted in and not taken her feelings into consideration, having the audacity to ask her to come bowling seconds after she had broken up with Robbie. But then she calmed down and laughed in a somewhat embarrassed wat and told him, that she knew Dipper had a crush on her. And to his incredulity she told him that she had actually found it somewhat cute! Sure, she didn't necessarily reciprocate the feelings, but she had to admit that looking back at everything so far that summer, Dipper had been a true friend, even if somewhat misguided at times.

"You know what Mark," she had said. "Thanks for coming; talking has helped get my thoughts all lined up. I can see now why Dipper did what he did. It wasn't the best. But I can't stay mad at the little dude. I don't think there is a single other person in Gravity falls who I could have as much fun with as him. He means a lot to me."

She had said that last part more to herself than to him. Mark exploded with rage.

"What!? You can't be serious Wendy! That little twelve-year-old is presumptuous and self-centered. Much like Robbie. He is no good for you!"

"Hold on Mark, where is all of this coming from," Wendy had asked in sudden surprise.

"Wendy, I care so much about you, and it hurts me to see you get treated this way by guys who only want to use you up; who are in any kind of relationship with you just for themselves! I won't stand for it!"

"Look man, these guys are my friends, and my problem. I've broken up with Robbie and I won't go back to that mess. But I don't think he's as bad you are trying make him seem. And you hardly know Dipper!"

Mark replied heatedly, "I can't believe that you would even entertain the feelings of a toddler twelve year old!"

"Don't think that you have any idea of how I feel," Wendy shot back. "But I can see now why you really came here. It wasn't to comfort me or try to be understanding, you only want to get back together! I thought you could take a hint, mark, but apparently I was wrong. And you screaming in my face for no good reason shows that you are not the friend I thought you might be."

Mark spluttered a little at this and then retorted, "You're just feeling emotional after everything that has happened to you. You need some time to sort it out, and then you'll see that I am right."

"No, you're not Mark."

Wendy had then gone to the door and motioned for Mark to leave saying, "You'll want to get out of here before my dad finds you."

That had been no idle threat and mark had quickly left, feeling once again devastated. On his way home, he convinced himself that he had been right and that it would just take Wendy some time to come around and see things his way. He resolved that he would continue to keep in touch with her. Hence his daily ritual of texting her.

For the rest of the summer, mark learned that Wendy had entered into no other relationship, which meant that there was still a chance for them to work out. He had to believe that it was possible. Now they were well into the new school year. He had a math class and English class with Wendy, which made his heart soar whenever they were together. However, she was usually hanging out with those guys Lee, Nate, Thompson, Tambry, and Robbie. He hadn't been able to get some one-on-one time with her yet and it was already October! But Mark still held out hope that things would change between them.

Mark finished sending his "good morning" text to Wendy and got himself ready for school and ate some slightly stale cereal as he expectantly waited for his phone to ring with a return call or text from the lovely redhead. Nothing came. He then got into the rickety, old pickup his dad had given him and drove off to the high school.

As he passed by the front doors of the school, the bulletin on the lawn reminded students that the Halloween dance was coming up in two weeks. The school was already crammed full of decorations and props. Gravity Falls really, really loved Halloween. The halls were decked with bats, skeletons, and pictures of jack-o-lanterns, provided by the Ridiculously Artsy People Club. Creepy candle stuck out of the walls and the smell of candy corn permeated the air. Steamers of bones draped over the lockers, making it difficult for the students to access their books. He passed by Robbie's locker which looked like Death and a couple of heavy metal bands had a New Year's party inside. Robbie was arm-in-arm with Tambry and chatting away with Wendy. Mark felt the swooping sensation within his stomach that he felt whenever he passed by his ex-girlfriend.

Wendy had stopped wearing her customary logging hat and had swapped it for a baseball cap with a blue pine tree on it. Mark had wondered why she would change hats. She had always told him that she had loved her older one, because of how cool it made her look and feel. It was also manly enough that it clashed wonderfully with her amazing feminine features. He wasn't a huge fan of the change, but on Wendy, anything looked perfect. He wasn't able to catch what they were talking about, but he imagined what it would be like it Wendy was talking about him.

Que unrealistic daydream:

 _Wendy looking like Sandy from Grease: "Oh Robbie, Tambry, I must declare that I have rediscovered my love for Mark Epstine! Here he comes now!_

 _Wendy throws herself into Mark's arms and kisses him._

 _Tamby turning to her phone: Status update, Wendy and Mark make the couple of the millennium. Can't wait for the wedding._

 _Robbie throws himself to his knees exclaiming: Mark is so worthy of your love Wendy! I never was! Please forgive me for dating you!_

 _Everyone starts clapping and cheering as Mark carries Wendy off throws the front doors of the school to a park limousine. Soos is playing the trumpet on the lawn._

Mark continued on his way to his first class with a stupid grin on his face.

When lunch began, Mark made his way to the back of the school clutching his homemade lunch of peanut butter and banana sandwiches and some celery sticks. He spied Wendy and her gang under a tree and crept through the brushed along the back fence to get close enough to eavesdrop on them. He settled down and quietly unpacked his lunch as Nate and Lee were talking.

"And so Nate was all like, 'But Mr. Stevenson, my dad was drinking some pretty strong coffee this morning and like spilled it all over my homework. It's so smudged, I just couldn't in good conscience turn it in!' Hahaha, how lame is that?"

"Yeah, but the old fart bought it," Nate retorted with a laugh.

"And how long did it take you to come up with that lame excuse," Robbie drawled.

"All morning," Nate admitted. "But it was still better than the crap Lee tried to pull!"

"Which was," Wendy prompted.

"My homework got eaten by the VCR," Lee said lamely.

The others had a good laugh, before Thompson asked, "So, Mr. Stevenson didn't buy that one?"

"Come on Thompson, stop being so slow and get with the slacking times for a change," Wendy chided good naturedly.

"Sorry guys, I just have never been in a situation like that before."

"That's because Thompson isn't too cool for school," Robbie teased. "Ha! I just made that one up!"

"And speaking of not cool, what is that you have in your lunchbox Thompson," Nate demanded.

"It's just a tuna sandwich."

"Duuude, that is so gross," Wendy says before making fake retching sounds. "That was the awful thing I've been smelling all this time. I thought it was a new deodorant Thompson was trying out."

"Forget the tuna sandwich, look at Thompson's lunchbox! Man, Pony Heist might have been an okay movie, but why are you walking around with that lunchbox," Lee laughed.

"Come on guys, as manager I get free merchandise for the films we show," Thompson said defensively. He was the manager at the local movie theater.

"We know that, but you're supposed to toss all of the craptastic stuff, man," Nate replied.

Thompson just huffed before he then asked, "Uh, Wendy, is that a letter sticking out of your pocket?"

"On no, don't you try and change the subject," Wendy said.

"Yes, it is a letter," Tambry replied. "She was reading it in Biology earlier. It's from Dipper and Mabel. She wasn't able to put it down."

"Thanks Tambry," Wendy said flatly.

Mark took special notice to this and inched forward slightly still reaching covertly into his bag and munching on his lunch.

"So what do the squirts have to say," Robbie asked.

"Eh, not much. They miss this place and hanging out with all of us. Well, maybe not you so much Robbie. School has been a bit of a bummer, because once again they don't have the coolest group to hang with." This earned some whoops from Nate and Lee. "They said it has been hard to keep the adventures from the summer to themselves, because they know no one will believe them. So they are anxious to come back next summer."

"That's all? I would have thought that by now Dipper would have written you another confession of love by now," Robbie said.

"That would explain why she couldn't put the letter down earlier, like I said," Tambry commented dryly.

There were two soft punches and Robbie and tambry both yelped, "Ouch!"

"Oooh! Look at Wendy getting all defensive right there," Lee teased.

"Come on guys! There's nothing like that between us," Wendy protested.

"That's not what the look on your face said when you held hands with him during Weirdmageddon," Thompson said.

The other teenagers suddenly hushed him.

"Come on man, you should know that the law says we are not supposed to talk about that anymore," Robbie insisted. "At least not out in the open."

"Sorry for being the only rebel here" Thompson apologized hotly. "But come on, you must have seen it too, you guys. Come on, back me up here!"

Mark couldn't see what was happening, but he could envision the friends all sharing significant looks with one another.

Wendy sighed and said, "Alright, let me read the letter to you, and you will see what I mean. There's- Wait. What's that sound?"

Mark froze. He was munching on his celery. He had forgotten not to eat it while eavesdropping. Some hands reached through the bushes and pulled him out roughly. Mark was thrown into the middle of the friends and lay on the grass, looking up to see a very put out Wendy.

"Mark, come on man, this is totally uncool! Why are you hiding in the bushes and listening to us," she asked a little upset.

He couldn't say anything. Like the others, he didn't believe what Wendy had been saying, and he didn't trust himself to not blow up again on her like he had earlier in the summer after she broke up with Robbie. So he kept his trap shut.

"Dude, you just take a hint and let Wendy be! She's not going to get back together with you," Robbie said heatedly.

Wendy gave Robbie a flat stare before turning back to Mark and saying, "Look man, it's over between. I'm sorry Mark, but you have been annoying me this whole time with your texts and calling and I haven't forgotten how you got angry with me earlier about who I choose to like."

"So you do like that Dipper kid," Mark suddenly blurted. He then realized his mistake and faced the ground, blushing furiously.

"Not cool Mark. Not cool at all. Come on guys," Wendy said leading her friends away.

Nate and Lee gave Mark threatening looks and Thompson who was normally a reasonable fellow refused to even pay him a glance. Tambry began typing on her phone and speaking as they left, "Notice to all: Mark Epstine likes to hide in bushes and listen in on conversations. Status: social reject."

"Burn!" The boys chanted together.

Tears began to leak from Mark's eyes and he hid himself for the rest of the day.

When Mark finally got back home, he threw himself onto his bed and mumbled into his pillow, "I just wanna die. If I can't have Wendy, any chaos god can just come and devour me, or whatever."

He lay there for an undetermined period of time and then he felt the ground shake a little. But he was so absorbed in his feelings that he barely registered it. Then suddenly, a voice spoke to him softly, "Mark Epstine, my new shaman. Why do you lay there so dejected and distraught?"

Mark bolted upright and looked around his room. There was a shadow walking along the walls that looked like some scrunched up fellow in a cloak with tattered feathers poking out at odd angles. Or at least, that was his first impression of it.

"Uh… Hello? Who are you?"

"I am your god, Mark Epstine. Though I can see that everyone here has by now long since forgotten me. That accursed Bill Cipher, he dissuaded the people of this valley from believing in me. But I have come back to claim what is rightfully mine!"

"That still doesn't tell me who you are," Mark said uncertainly.

"I am the god Madladl," the shadow responded.

"That sounds mad."

"Indeed I am, Mark. Indeed I _am_." The shadow repeated, "And you are my shaman."

"What does that mean? And what on earth is going on here?"

The shadow sighed heavily before proceeding, "Very well, time for a history lesson."

"History is my worst subject," Mark grumbled.

"Silence! Just listen to what I have to say," Madladl hissed. "Once, I was the god to the people of this land. They worshipped me and in return I shielded them from the strange things of this land and made the soil bounteous. I taught them in all forms of magic and how to read the stars and seasons. In return they offered me the love and virgins of their people.

"But then _he_ came. That terrible demon, Bill Cipher. He promised the people even greater knowledge and power than what I had given them. He silenced me by casting a spell that sealed me in the Earth. He then recruited my shaman and tried to get the people to open a portal between this world and his. I was powerless to do anything, and do make sure that i would never rise to interfere with him, he erased the very memory of me. Even in death, his spell was not broken, until today. I do not know what caused it, but i am here now, to reclaim all that is rightfully mine."

As the shadow spoke, visions of the past flew past Mark's eyes, and he saw everything in exquisite detail.

"And what does any of this have to do with me," Mark asked aghast.

"You are distantly descendant from the line of shamans who served me. As you can see, I am still but a mere shadow, however, you as a shaman can restore me to full strength. I will reward you most handsomely if you do," Madladl said smoothly.

Mark began thinking wildly and asked, "You can grant me anything?"

"Yessss."

"Then I want Wendy Corduroy," Mark said forcefully. "I want those friends she hangs with out of my way. I also want this Dipper Pines done away with!"

"Agreed," the shadow said gleefully.

"But…."

"But what?"

"Why me? Why am I to be your shaman?"

"Because not only is your birthright, but you feel all of the pain necessary to motivate you to do the unthinkable, and bring a god back into this world."

On the other side of the world, the _Stan of War II_ was docked in cold St. Petersburg between the _Caesar Salad_ and _Smirnoff_. Ford sat on the rails and cleaned a stake before placing it into a small case with different size stakes. He harrumphed as his twin, Stanley, came topside.

"You obviously took your time staking that vampire," he groused.

"Oh, I staked her alright. In more ways than one," Stan, wobbling his eyebrows in attempted sexiness.

"Seriously!? You are too immature for your own good sometimes, Stanley!"

"Hey, selection back in Gravity Falls wasn't the best. I had to out of town to find even a female spider willing to bite into me!"

Ford pinched the bridge of his nose, "At least you got her through the heart, right?"

"Of course I did! It's on the right side, right?"

"It's the left!" Ford jumped up, and had s take in his hands in a second.

"I was joking! Geez! Here's your stabby majig anyway," Stan said, throwing the stake to his brother.

Ford caught it deftly and they glared at each other for a moment. They then burst out laughing at the same time.

"I can't believe you slept with a vampire, Stanley! Hahaha, just how desperate of a man are you for adventure and hot babes?"

"What I'm surprised about is that you didn't, you old geezer. You ain't getting any younger. Who knows how long we'll able to pick up murderous chicks? Gotta live life, bro!"

"I prefer my women to have umm, more hands…" Ford turned away and tugged at his turtle neck.

"What," Stan gasped.

"I know! I know! It's an odd fetish I picked up traveling the multiverse," Ford said hurriedly. "I'll try to get accustomed to Earth's women again, I swear!"

"It's not that! Had you told me this sooner, I would have known just the place to take you!"

"Not the spider lady!?"

Stan narrowed his eyes and demanded, "When did you become a mind reader, Sixer?"

Again, the brothers laughed and clapped each other on the backs. It was a job well done.

"Well, now that we have the misnamed Harpies of Hell poofed to dust, we can get along with our journey," Ford declared happily.

"Gladly! All this Russian is making me feel like the Cold War is back on."

"You're in Russia," Ford stated flatly.

"Yeah, that's the problem! Take me back to the good ol' world of capitalism, where there are suckers who pockets are just waiting to be picked!"

Just then Ford's weirdness detector began beeping off the charts. The brothers rushed to check it out.

"I actually have no idea why I bother. I can barely understand half your gizmos," Stan said.

"If you applied yourself, they really are not that hard to use and read," Ford protested.

"Keep telling yourself that smarty pants," Stan grumbled, but with a wink.

"Oh no, Stanley… These readings are back at Gravity Falls!"

"Wait, come again? I thought we had cleaned that entire mess up? What could be wrong now?"

Ford tapped his glasses and said, "I feared that Bill's evil could prove to be too great to be vanquished even by death. There was always the chance that he might somehow find a way of cheating that solution and coming back. This power surge is almost at his level. It could be him trying to come back into our dimension."

"But I erased him! Along with my memories! He shouldn't be able to come back!" Stan punched the cabin's wall.

"But we got your memories back, and if we could do that, he might have also found a way back. We have to check it out, now!"

"And here I thought we could finally get some treasure, after picking up some hot babes," Stan sighed.

"Hey, I still need my hot chick. And no spider women!" Ford insisted.

"No promises, Sixer," Stan shot back. "By the way Ford, since we are going back in the direction of the good ol' US of A, you need to know that we shouldn't mention to Mable what we did here."

"I should say not, Stanley! They are kids! They shouldn't know about what or with whom you have sleeping!"

"No, not that. Mable is all about vampires. You know, the sparkly kind. She would hate u," Stan gulped.

"I can confirm that those kind of vampires only come from the worst dimension imaginable. Even Bill Cipher hesitated to attack that realm."

"Let's change the subject and get outta here!"

The _Stan of War II_ revved to life and they made their way out of the harbor and down the river. Just as Gravity Falls drew all weirdness to itself, the town called its boys back to it.

Dipper and Mabel walked up the steps to their school, faces bright for the adventures of a new day. Some people cat called them. They had gotten quite the reputation for their antics and crazies stories of what happened over the summer, but who cared? They had each other still, and they had grown up so much over the last few months. Though, they hadn't grow up quite that much, Mabel was happy to say.

"You know what bro, I have this feeling like something really big is coming," she said happily.

"Really? Because I feel like we are missing out on something big," Dipper said, his happy face now sliding off.

Mabel slugged him lightly on the shoulder. "Don't be like that, bro bro. Come on, whatever it is, we will face it with courage, grace, all the teen appropriate jokes, and my grappling hook!"

"Mabel! How many times do I have to tell you not bring that!?" Dipper pulled Wendy's hat down as Mabel brandished her gun, which she had speedily swiped from her pack.

"What the principle doesn't know can't hurt him," she smiled and laughed. "Onwards Dipper! Onwards to adventure!"

"Well, now that you mention it, I am certain Mrs. Barnes is a werewolf," he laughed back.

"Oh, please Dipper. Weird stuff other than you happening out of Gravity Falls? Highly unlikely."

"Except for you," Dipper countered.

"Guilty as charged! Bwap Bwap!"

Together, they laughed and entered their hellish middle school, ready for another day's adventure.

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	2. Episode 2 - Stalker, Twins, and Locker

Dipper and Mabel were unfortunately not able to stay together too long, because the cruel powers that be had forced them apart for the majority for their classes. Dipper went off to history and Mabel went to English. People in the halls were already pointing at them as they passed. They jeered at Mabel for her crazy sweater: A waffle with beefy arms. They laughed at Dipper's lumberjack hat. Surprisingly, he pushed it up a little, and showed his birth mark.

"Dipper the loser! The little Dipper! Get it? Because he's so small! What's with that dumb hat? Going to Canada, little Dipper?"

After spending a summer with Grunkle Stan, Dipper could take a few ill-conceived jibes. We waved goodbye to Mabel and went to History. After learning about the real Nine-and-a-half President of the United States, Quentin Trembly, he was more uncertain than ever before he trusted what his teacher told him. But how did you bring up a man who preserved himself in a block of peanut brittle?

The class started with its usual pop quiz, worth five points, with the same vein of questions:

1\. Who was the President for the American Civil War?

2\. Who signed the Declaration of Independence the largest?

3\. Where is Bunker Hill?

4\. Who is the greatest president since the year 2000?

5\. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

As Dipper scribbled down the complex math to figure out the woodchuck question, he remembered when he used physics to make the perfect toss to win Wendy that stuffed animal of indeterminable species. Man, that had been a heartbreaking, but wonderful day… Why was he still in middle school again? Oh yeah, because he didn't want to grow up too fast. Wendy, Wendy, Wendy.

It made him smirk and blush just a little. Yup, he still hadn't gotten over that crush of his. The letter with all the amazing signatures and messages from his friends back in Gravity Falls was tucked safely away in his vest. He wished he had a black light, because he was certain there was something else to that letter. There was of course the hat that brought him so much ridicule. It was a gift from the coolest girl he knew, so why wouldn't he war it? Plus, whatever photos she had sent him and Mabel showed her wearing his hat, so he had return the favor!

He jotted down the correct answer of 700 pounds, and handed his quiz on in.

"Hey Dip, why are you wearing that stupid hat?" Marcel asked him that question at least four times a day.

"Why do you wear your pants on backwards," Dipper asked. He always asked back a different question that got the blundering bully to check himself.

Marcel began feeling up his crotch for his zipper, and some girls gave audible "Ews!"

"You're going to pay for that one, Dip," Marcel said, cracking his knuckles.

"Mr. Pines? Mr. Shell? Do you have anything you want to say before the class about our nation's illustrious history before we continue?" Mr. Lampoon was all about the nation, and he would not let a minute of his class be wasted on anything other than the U.S. It reminded Dipper of Mr. Uber Patriotic back at the Falls. "Please, come up to the class and tell everyone what you have to say."

"Mr. Lampoon, Dipper was bad mouthing," Marcel said, trying to pretend the victim.

"It's alright, I have something to say," Dipper announced from his seat and stood up. "My Great Uncle Ford helped with the speeches for President Ronald Reagan. Turns out, the guy really didn't have many original thoughts of his own."

As true a statement as he could give without telling the whole, crazy truth that he knew about mind control.

"Excellent, Mr. Pines. Yes, President Reagan is arguably the worst president of the last century. Do well to remember children, most presidents unlike our current, amazing leader, my bro, Barack, have been puppets to the capitalist system that plagues our country. Of course we need capitalism as the means to stimulate cultural, and more importantly, economic changes that will bring us into a great future. That is what our country is founded on!

"Now Mr. Pines, if you will come up here for a moment, I will have to send you up to the principal's."

"Ooooooh!" the class chanted.

"What!? Why," Dipper cried out.

"For bad mouthing Mr. Shell. You gave a wonderful bit of historic information to the class, but you did not refute the accusation, nor prove otherwise. I must therefore accept your guilt and have you punished. This makes your, what? Fifth visit up to the office?"

Dipper sighed and just decided to play along. "What can I say? I'm a bad boy rebel?"

He laughed weakly at that, and some girl in the corner whispered loudly to a friend, "He's totally a wannabe."

"He'd be cute, it if wasn't for that hat and vest," the friend replied.

Dipper gave them both a glare as Mr. lampoon handed him the disciplinary slip. Dipper got his backpack and started to leave when Marcel tripped him.

"Wait for lunch! Just you wait, Dip," he called maliciously.

Dipper walked out the classroom with his hands held up with index and middle fingers up.

"An excellent reference Mr. Pines," Lampoon congratulated.

Mabel was doing her best to not fall asleep. Who in their right minds had English at 8:30 in the morning!? It was torture! And wasn't torture outlawed in this country? Or was California an exception? Maybe just the greater Bay area? In any case, she was determined to get her Ban English petition to get pushed through.

Ms. Quiverstaff was extolling the many virtues of the works by William Shakespeare.

Double, double toil and trouble;

Fire burn and caldron bubble.

Fillet of a fenny snake,

In the caldron boil and bake;

Eye of newt and toe of frog,

Wool of bat and tongue of dog,

Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,

Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,

For a charm of powerful trouble,

Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

"That, my dear students, is the greatest introduction to one of literature's greatest tragedies and horrors. It tells us that something terrible is happening. Powers that cannot be halted by the main players have set into motion by their own terrible prophecy a series of events that will change an entire world and crush lives. Isn't that fascinating."

There were some mumbles of ascent, but Mable just let out a "Blarg!"

"What was that, Ms. Pines," the young teacher asked snappily, quickly going from excited to icy serious. "Please speak up!"

"Why would Shakespeare put all of that stuff into a potion. Besides, the guy was a hack who couldn't even deliver a good limerick!"

Some student chuckled at her words, but the affronted teacher had to take a moment to recover.

"What would you then write for a masterpiece, Ms. Pines?" Her voice was dangerous, but Mable didn't care; it was too early.

"How about, Bibbity, Bloppity, Blarg? The glittery vampire forsakes his Sarg! With kitty cat so fluffy and sweet, and many gorgeous girls to meet, he strides all sparkling in the day light, not a single mole his perfect skin to blight-"

"Okay! Enough!" Ms. Quiverstaff was quivering with anger herself. "Ms. Pines, I will not accept this behavior in my classroom! I am sending you to the principal's office, right away!"

The other students began to snicker behind their hands. Mabel didn't bother looking for help in the room; she and Dipper had been alone ever since coming back to Piedmont. Her best friends were all up in Oregon, and her favorite family members besides Dipper were traveling the world on a great adventure. At times she wondered why she hadn't gone with them, only to be reminded that growing up was the greatest adventure of all.

Mabel held out her hand and accepted the disciplinary note as though it were something slimy and left the classroom. The halls were now void of any pedestrians, decorated in the first signs of approaching Halloween. At least she would have that to look forward to. She had managed against all odds to talk Dipper into one more round of Trick-or-Treating! It was helpful that Wendy and her friends weren't around. But that thought made her heart ache a little, remembering all of the best people in her life, still up in Gravity Falls. At least she still had Dipper.

And speaking of Dipper…

"Dipper! What are you doing here?"

Dipper was waiting in a chair just outside the principal's office. He gave her a sheepish grin.

"I guess for defending myself well enough against Marcel?"

"That poop brained lout? Dipper, you gotta put him in his place! You have a good right hook now. Use it!"

"Why use my hook, when I can use yours?"

"Oh! That is a good idea," Mabel grinned wickedly. "Heehee! We still have some time before fate comes to greet us! Tell me your plan!"

"Wait a sec! What are you doing here?"

"Some people in modern society do not appreciate fine art," Mabel sniffed.

Dipper laughed, and said, "Fair enough. Mom and dad are going to go ballistic when they hear we were in the office again, but what else is new at this point? Okay, he is my idea…"

They were as thick as thieves when Principal Louise Aguste threw open his office door and gave the twins a stern glare. "You two again? What am I going to do with you Pines!? Come on, both of you, into my office."

The Pines walked under the arm of the massive, beefy man, who wore glasses just too small for his face. His impeccable suit barely contained the man as he sat down heavily behind his desk and fixed the twins with a stern look.

"Dipper Pines, this your fifth visit to the office, and the semester is not even half way through! Mabel, I hear so much about you from the faculty, and sadly only half of it is encouraging. You both may be cut from the same cloth, but I know there are bright heads on those undergrown shoulders. Why is it that you keep coming here?"

He held out his hand with an exasperated grunt and they gave up the disciplinary notes. His eyes darted back and forth as he read. Principal Aguste finally leaned back with sigh.

"Dipper, Mabel, I am a forgiving man, but my patience with your antics is coming to an end! I am going to call your parents about this. The next time you come up to the office, there will be detention!"

"Detention," Dipper gasped.

"Extra homework," the beefy man continued.

"The horror!" Mabel shouted.

"And there will be talk of suspension!"

"But that would ruin my chances of getting into a good college," Dipper whimpered.

"Exactly! Don't push me too far children. For now, I am letting you off easy, but know this! Your actions will no longer tolerated!"

Mabel started slapping her knees and arms. -Still want to get back at Marcel? - Dipper did some slapping as well. -Yes. Definitely. Definitely.—They had looked up How To videos of ham boning on the internet after their adventures with McGucket. They had gotten pretty good in just a short time. The principal looked dumbfounded.

"Mosquito bites," Dipper said. "Slapping them is better than scratching them, right? Cause that leads to sores, which leads to pimples, and then…"

"Alright, alright! No more! I don't need to hear about your adolescent adventures. I have no desire to relive my own itchy, sweaty days," Auguste said, yanking open a desk and drawer and pulling out some Cutie Patootie Baby Powder (Takes care of itches, leaves you baby butt smooth, and smells passable enough!).

The Pines let themselves out as the principal covered himself generously with the powder. Mabel and Dipper shared a look and began giggling.

"Just remember, after this, you can't harp on me anymore about the grappling hook," Mabel said.

"I know. It'll be worth it though, to get back at marcel and make him go to the principal's office for a change," Dipper said, throwing out his chest.

"Or better, yet, EXPELLED!" Mabel laughed evilly.

"Okay, see you at lunch," Dipper said excitedly.

They quickly did their signature high five and shouted, "Twins!"

Mark held up a lantern as he walked behind the falls. There was a cave, just as the shadow had said there would be. The shadow right then made a beeline to a corner of the cave. Behind a small collection of boulders was a smaller hole, opening up to a tunnel. The shadow of Madladl had explained that the ancient inhabitants of the valley had built these tunnels to escape Bill Cipher after his first coming. Bill had suppressed Madladl, forcing him from this plane of existence. He had then proceeded to wreck the place when the natives hadn't been entirely cooperative with his plans. He had corrupted sacred gems belonging to the woodland creatures and had summoned a dark monster from the Chaos Dimension to torment the valley.

Madladl could feel that the taint had been removed since before he came back, and even before Bill Cipher had been defeated. He felt that it was the work of the Pines. The Pines. Mark's blood boiled at the thought of them. Well, Dipper specifically. What did Wendy see in a child that he didn't have? Knowing that there was a world of magic out there, the only thing that could make any sense was that Dipper had enchanted her. It made him grind his teeth with frustration.

"Madladl, my Lord," he quickly added when he felt the shadow's displeasure at being addressed so informally. "Why are we down here again? I know you say that it will help us regain your body and full powers, but how exactly? That part escaped me. And how will this help me get back Wendy?"

The shadow drew itself up and mark saw it take the shape of a man's body with a bird's head. It wore a magnificent crown. On its shoulders were smaller heads with crowns as well. It gestures to its own shoulders.

"In order to survive Bill's attack, I had to kill my siblings. Iquizox, my brother, was the god of Knowledge. Hyfrodine, my sister was the goddess of relationships. Love, as your probably misunderstand it. In any case, with their powers, great power can be unlocked. We are here in these caverns, because the ancients built it represent their understand of the stars. The stars hold mystical might and a glimpse into the world. They thought that by appealing to the gods they momentarily forsook, they would find protection from the demon. It did not work very well for them, but it will suit us well. The design of the tunnels, makes a symbol that harnesses ancient powers!

"By coming down here, and by you using your focus on this Wendy, and your feelings for her, we can open up a window in the world around us. We can see what is going on, find those who stand in the way between you and Wendy. This will act a magnet to which we can harness great power. You will find Dipper Pines, cast a spell to vanquish him, and as you do, I will siphon some of it off and restore myself!"

Mark tapped the side of his nose, "I gotchya! It's a win-win!"

"Why did you just do that? You looked like a fool."

The shadow became a line once more and Mark followed it into the tunnel. Because of his lantern's light, he could still follow the path Madladl had placed out for him. Mark began to feel tired after not too long. He had ditched school after staying up all night conversing with the shadow god. Finding out that he was chosen to be some kind of shaman had not be nearly as cool as a promise that he could be with Wendy.

Eventually, he arrived at where he was supposed to be and Madladl cried out, "Behold, my shaman! The stars!"

"The what?" Mark laughed. "There are no stars down here."

The shadow slapped him over the head. "Douse that light and SEE!"

Mark did so, and after a moment of darkness he asked shakily, "You're not going to try and grope me or anything are you?"

He was slapped again, and then the small pin pricks of light began cropping up all around him. Soon, Mark felt like he was engulfed in a swirling galaxy. The image of Madladl rose through the night sky, eclipsing the stars.

"Oh my… This is very interesting, and so very promising. My shaman! Touch the stars and seek out your heart's desire!"

Mark stretched out his right hand and brushed the starry surroundings. They rippled like water, and he felt something icy cold stab up his arm. He pulled back with a cry of pain.

"Fool! Don't pull back! Embrace it! That is the nature of love! It is the acceptance of pain for that which overshadows the discomfort and brings light to our very lives!"

"For Wendy!" Mark plunged his hand in again. For a moment, Madladl himself lit up, and Mark saw the grotesque, towering figure of an Aztec-like god, drenched in blood and decorated with jewels and armor. An eagle's head mounted atop a strong, tan body. Then it grew dark around the cavern as the lights pulled together and made a shimmering pond of weak illumination.

Mark looked in and saw Wendy. She was lounging at her desk, taking turns with Lee and Nate to shoot spit wads at others and then blame Thompson. It made him laugh.

"Very good, my shaman. Now, look for that which blocks your love!"

Mark concentrated, and the lights swirled again. When they settled, everything became black. Mark was confused. What could it mean? Then a locker door opened and he saw a young girl with brown hair, braces, and a ridiculous sweater a waffle with buff arms. She had a good-natured look about her. She was bust getting out a mess of craft stuff from her locker and only glanced up right before shutting the door.

Mabel meanwhile stopped in her tracks, and hurriedly reopened her locker. There was nothing there but her organized chaos. She was certain that she had seen someone's face there, a moment ago.

"Mighty suspicious…" She tried climbing in. "Does this mean that there's a whole world behind my locker with lovely woodland creatures that want me over for tea and biscuits!? Dipper was right! I'm coming cute woodland animals!"

People only gawked as they saw Mabel try to fit herself in.

"This is like that cursed invisible wizard!"

Darkness washed over Mark as the girl closed the locker door. He was beginning to wonder if he had made a mistake, or if Dipper was possibly a crossdresser, when light came through the pool once more. There was a boy, who looked related to the girl he had just seen. He was wearing Wendy's hat!

"Dipper," Mark growled.

"Excellent, my shaman. For now, let us watch him. Hm? We will need time to plot out a good demise for him. A spell powerful enough to kill him and to ensure your reconnection with Wendy."

Mark harrumphed, but he listened. And he watched.

Dipper did a double take. He could have sworn he had seen some teenager hiding out in his locker. He opened it again, but there was nothing there.

"Hey Dipper, are you also trying to get to the secret locker world and the cute animals?"

He turned to see his sister covered in random bits of crafts material and halfway finished projects from Art 487, a highly advanced art class that Mabel had somehow managed to land. He had heard rumors that it gave PhD credits. Her was super jealous, and Mabel insisted that there was nothing so glamorous or as boring as that happening in her class.

"Mabel, what happened to you!?"

"Didn't you hear what I just said, dum-dum? I tried to get to the mystical world on the other side of our lockers. But I guess the way closed up."

"Erm, did you see some guy hanging out in a dark place? In your locker I mean," Dipper asked.

"You mean Mr. Hirsch?"

"Nah, this guy didn't have a scraggly, ginger beard," Dipper said impatiently. "He looked like the poor man's Robbie. Yeah, that would be a good way of describing him."

Mabel rubbed her chin and then said, "Now that you mention it, I only got a slight sense of soul crushing depression and teenage angstiness from him. If anything, I think he was confused."

"I am, too. Stuff like this shouldn't be happening here!"

"Says the guy with evidence that Mrs. Barnes is a werewolf," Mabel giggled.

"Shoot! Mabel! We have to hurry, or we'll be late!"

"Oh, rrriiight! The prank for Marcel. The prank specially chosen to humiliate and expel Marcel. Marcel's prank."

"Yes, that prank!" Dipper said, waving his noodly arms. "Come quick!"

Lunch was already underway and taking place outside of the school buildings, but some of the teachers, like Mrs. Barnes, always came out later to check up on things. She always exited near Marcel's haunt, by some large bushes, where he and his friends would swap copies of _Insecure Teens Illustrated_. Dipper walked past them obviously, earning him the trip he needed. As he exaggerated his fall over Marcel's shoe, he placed his folder of evidence in Marcel's open backpack, right next to the dirty copies of the serial.

"I thought a loser like you would be suspended for sure by this point," Marcel sneered. "At least take a hint and get lost, shorty!"

The others in the group howled with stupid laughter, and high fived each other over their leader's stupid joke.

"What if we take his hat? Maybe he'll he get so embarrassed by that disgusting birthmark of his, that he'll run off and hide in the girl's bathroom," one thug suggested.

"Great idea, Randal," Marcel agreed. "Let me just take that!"

"No!" Dipper shouted and sprinted off, before the bullies could make good on their threat.

They continued laughing, congratulating themselves on their successful teasing and threat. Dipper put himself into position to signal Mabel when he saw Mrs. Barnes. His twin flashed him the thumbs up, showing that she was ready. Sure enough, the hulking figure that was the most dreaded Math teacher, came lumbering out of the building. Dipper flashed his signal and the grappling hook went flying.

Like a brilliant masterpiece, it hooked the teacher's ill-fitted blouse, and tore it away, back towards Mabel. She had shot her hook right over Marcel's shoulder, and as the it flew back towards her, the blouse got all tangled up in the bully's face.

"Dude, score! Where'd you get that," one of the boys asked, clearly too slow to realize what had just happened.

"I don't know," Marcel said, angrily trying to get out of the blouse.

"Woah, dude! Mrs. Barnes is hairier than balls!"

Marcel tore away the blouse and said, "Crap! You're right!"

Then staring at the hairy woman, with her saggy chest, and a blouse now in his hands, Marcel paled. Dipper and Mabel shook with laughter. Mrs. Barnes honed in on Marcel and took on a thunderous look.

"Mr. Shell! The principal's office! Now!"

The bully tried to make a break for it, but the long arm of the law, with its hairy armpit, took hold of him and carted him and his stuff off. Dipper and Mabel followed at a safe distance, and listened in at the principal's door.

"But I didn't take her shirt!"

"My blouse was in your hands, you cretin! And look at what was in his backpack!"

"I know my rights! You can't do this," Marcel protested.

"You bring this smut onto my campus, and steal a woman's blouse right off her back, and- Good heavens, what is this!?" No said anything as Mr. Auguste was looking something over. Dipper knew what it was. "So, you thought you would play a cruel prank on Mrs. Barnes? Think she's a werewolf? If only you were so lucky! Suspension to say the least!"

Trying their best to hold in their laughter, Dipper and Mabel snuck back to lunch and jumped into the air outside. They high fived, and congratulated one another on a prank well done. Marcel was getting his just desserts. Thy felt on top of the world.

"It now makes sense why you saw both of them," Madladl said.

Mark jumped and then asked, "What do you mean?"

"Think, my shaman, think! You saw Dipper's twin before you saw him! These two are a set. A pair of power! So long as they are together, you can't kill him! And Wendy will not be yours."

Mark thought for a moment, and then shook his head. "Why does this kind of stuff have to be so complicated?"

"Because love is never simple, no matter what the romantics say," Madladl sniffed.

"No matter what High School Lyrical says," Mark said under his breath. "Wait, my Lord. I have an idea. Oh, yes. We'll come back tomorrow, and I'll have something in store for them!"

"What is it," Madladl asked in soft, dangerous tone.

"They are going to meet the Gerblin King," Mark smiled in the darkness.

As the _Stan of War II_ sped along the waters of the Pacific, Ford came up to Stan at the helm.

"Stanley!" he called over the rush of wind and water. "We're going to have to make a slight detour."

"I thought we were already making one!"

"No, well yes, but right now this is one is even more important!"

Stan sighed and then asked, "Where are we headed to now?"

"Piedmont, Stanley! Piedmont! There was a spike in weirdness there!"

Stan paled. "The kids! Mabel! Dipper!"

Ford gave his brother a grave look. "Exactly! The semi-warp thrusters I installed should do the trick!"

"For once, I'm glad for your tinkering," Stan grumbled.

VDLO, VDLO DV IDVW DV BRX FDQ

GRQW EH WRR ODWH VWDQ


	3. Episode 3 - Mazyrinth

Mark awoke early the next day to get a head start on finishing off Dipper and Mabel Pines. The shadow of Madladl led him once again, and he only vaguely noticed how crisp the shadow had become. Like a cartoon trying to burst from its 2D confines. Mark took that as a good sign; if his godly sponsor in his endeavor to win Wendy was getting stronger, wasn't he bound to succeed?

Throughout most of the knight, he had constructed his trap for the twins out of cardboard and scraps of crafts from his mom and junk from his dad in the garage. It was a folding box that he now took into the old tunnels. Yes, he was skipping out on school again, but this was a much worthier goal, and he could always catch up later with extra homework.

"My shaman, I am most interested in seeing what you have planned. Why did you construct this box," Madladl asked.

"Well, Madladl, what I have here is a physical representation of the way I'm going to kill Dipper and Mabel Pines," mark explained. "There was an old movie from the 80s that showed a young girl stuck in one monstrous, devilish trap. There was no way to win your way out of it except to have the favor of the king. In this case, I will be the king, so there is no way for them to escape."

"Very clever," Madladl chuckled appreciatively. "There is nothing quite like a game rigged in your favor."

"Exactly," Mark grinned. "But this won't be a game. It'll be a slaughter."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dipper and Mabel woke up to their mom telling them that Grunkle Stan was calling for them.

"Wha!?" Mabel shouted, and the dashed for the phone downstairs.

Dipper ran to keep up with her, but her head start allowed her to reach the phone first. Unfortunately, wherever Stan was, the reception was terrible. His voice kept threatening to cut out, there was a lot of background noise, and he sounded very hoarse.

"Grunkle Stan, you old scallywag, what kind of adventures are you interrupting to give your favorite great niece a call?" Mabel asked.

"Putting it on a little thick, aren't you," Dipper pointed out.

"Shhh! He's trying to commune with me."

"No! I'm shouting at you sweetheart," Grunkle Stan's voice finally came out audibly. "Sorry, but Ford and I are in a hurry. Something…. Belgian waffles! Can't we slow down!? Look Mabel…. Bad happening…. Be careful!... Coming…"

"Wait, Grunkle Stan, what you're saying isn't making any sense. What's coming? Why do we need to be prepared?"

There was unfortunately no answer, because the connection went dead.

"I told those guys they needed a satellite phone," Dipper said, shaking his head.

"I think they just wanted some alone time together, you know? Catch up and all that good jazz," Mabel shrugged. "Let's face it, we would be checking up on them and bothering them all the time if we could just reach them."

"Yeah, but then you wouldn't be pestering me for help with your homework, you'd be asking Ford, and giving me some peace," Dipper replied, poking fun at her.

"Darn that homework all to heck I say," Mabel said, then she glanced around for their parents. "That's right, you heard me Dipper, darn all homework to the thirteenth level of heck!"

"I don't think there are that many levels," Dipper began, and then their mother came in.

"What did Great Uncle Stanford need?"

Dipper and Mabel exchanged glances. The family still wasn't sure if they believed this story of a twin Grunkle. Sure, Dipper and Mabel had pictures to prove it, and even a phone call to Grandpa Shermy had confirmed a Stanford and Stanley Pines, but their parents just wouldn't fully believe. Something about next summer sending the twins to a place even further away from computers and their Photoart skills.

"Oh, he was just trying to check up on us. Mayyyyybeeeee, he's coming," Mabel laughed nervously.

"That would be a surprise," their mom said with a small laugh. "Did he say anything else?"

"No, the line went dead," Mabel said, hanging up the phone.

"Oh well, he'll try again later for sure. In the meantime, you both have to get ready for school. Quick!"

With that Dipper and Mabel went about their morning routines, however they did have a covert conversation about they had heard Grunkle Stan scream to them.

"So, something bad might be coming," Dipper mused. "Ford had said that there were some spots around the world where weirdness was seeping in and causing problems. Maybe they registered an anomaly here!"

"Whatever it was, I think he wanted us to be ready," Mabel said, a serious look on her cute face. "I think it's time that we arm ourselves properly for another day at school, don't you think?"

Dipper nodded and they pulled out chests from underneath their beds. Within these trunks they had all the tools and weapons they would need to survive anything. After a summer in Gravity Falls, they had quite the collection. Dipper hid the shrinking and growing flashlight in his vest. Mabel filled her pockets with attack glitter. Of course she had her grappling hook. A camera went under Dipper's hat, just for extra measure.

"We could always still try to sell the photos we take," he explained. Mabel just laughed.

Yarn and knitting needles found themselves in Mabel's backpack as Dipper hefted a baseballbat. He shrugged and put them over his shoulder. Mabel put some teen romance novels into her pack as well.

"What are those for," Dipper asked, completely bewildered.

"They're romance novels, they are totally dense," Mabel explained.

"But I thought you liked that kind of stuff."

"Of course I do! Which is why I'm taking the hardcover editions! Packs an extra punch _and_ they won't get ruined!

A few more things went into their backpacks and pockets and then they were ready. Downstairs their father gave them a confused look.

"Extra homework to take to school, or something? Those packs look kinda heavy."

"We're just being prepared. It's not like we are getting to fight monsters or anything like that," Mabel said with a wave of her hand.

"What's with the bat son," their dad asked Dipper, a stern expression crossing his face. "I know you have been trouble with bullies, but violence is never the answer."

Dipper began sweating and laughed nervously as he said, "What!? No. No! I am just going to, uh… Try out for the baseball team! That's right!"

"Really? Glad to hear it," their dad responded, a broad smile spreading over his face. "Nothing like some sporty initiative to help you through this overly awkward period of your life. Just watch out for rat tails in the locker room!"

Again, Dipper and Mabel exchanged a look before cramming in some breakfast and heading out to the bus. There, they also got more odd looks, but they didn't care. That happened every day anyway. No, they would put up with some ridicule if they were warned that something bad was going on.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"My Lord Madladl," Mark said excitedly. "They are almost at school! Lend me your power so that I can enact the plan!"

They both stood in the dark tunnel full of stars. Through the star he was holding, Mark was able to spy on the twins as they approached their middle school. Madladl again rose to eclipse the underground night sky and tendrils of his power shot out among the pinpricks of light. In the dim light, he saw the god's clawed hand reach out and take hold of his cardboard diagram of the maze. The maze began to change, becoming a true miniature of the hellish trap he had in began growing, and as it grew Mark noticed monsters and people walking inside.

"When you are ready to spring the trap, place the star in your hand into the maze. The cosmic powers will meld the Pines' school with your model. You will then be able to control the entire school and maze at will using this model you made," Madladl explained.

The god then heaved a big sigh.

"Is everything alright," mark asked, starting to feel a little anxious.

"Never better," Madladl chuckled. "It's just… I haven't lived like this in so long! My shaman, you are helping me feel life once again. For that alone I will ensure that you gain your Wendy!"

"Yes," Mark said, doing a double fist pump. "It's all I ever wanted!"

Madladl continued to chuckle. Mark held the star wherein he saw the twins with a shaky hand. He was so close. After today, the great obstacle between him his heart's desire would be cleared!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"'Kay Bro-bro, even though we've got to separate for classes, remember to keep in touch with the walkie talkies," Mabel said, shaking a finger. "And this time, make sure you actually do keep me updated! We don't want another repeat of Weirdmageddon on our hands!"

Dipper rubbed an arm and said, "Yeahhhhh, that was a mess that we could have easily avoided."

"Exactly! Remember, the code for something amiss is 'boy bands rule!' Repeat it several times," Mabel added with a wink.

"I never agreed to that," Dipper said flatly.

The bell rang, calling all students to their respective classes and the twins darted off in opposite directions. Dipper made sure his walkie was on as he dashed. He passed by Garrett Rupford, a kid with lanky limbs and a face longer than a horse's, who always had a boombox on his shoulders. Today, he was blasting the 80s smash hit "Maw of the Cougar."

It's the maw of the cougar

It's the thrill of the flight

Trying to run from a murderous kitty

And the cat's last known owner

Sadly left him outside

And he's coming to eat us all, maw of the cougar!

 _Excellent choice of music for today, Rup_ , Dipper thought to himself. _Let's just hope that Mabel and I are the cougars today and not someone or something else._

Deep down, he feared that it might be Bill Cipher back from the dead to haunt them and get revenge. That had barely survived their last encounter with the chaos demon. He had almost killed him or Mabel! If it hadn't of been for Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford's perfect timing and acting, one of them would have been a goner and Bill would have won. Whether it was Bill or not, the twins were without their great uncles to bail them out. They would have to be on their top game.

Meanwhile, Mabel ran to her class thinking, Please let it happen today! Please let it happen today! Dipper deserves to have these kids see him as the hero! And me, too. No more making fun of us or anything like that. Life may not be like the movies all the time, but today it can be!

She and Dipper slid into their respective English and History classes at the same time and sat their butts down hard. They both pulled out their walkies and clutched them underneath their desks.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Madladl heard his nearly worthless shaman exclaim in excitement that the twins were now seated at their desks, none the wiser that they were doomed. Why was the only descendant of his former worshippers in Gravity Falls this pathetic mortal? True, his obsession with this girl Wendy would prove useful in overall plans, but the teenager was annoying and wretched.

Before Bill Cipher had come along, the men and woman who led Madladl's cult and ruled the people of this mystical valley had real power. They could summon beings from other realms. They could converse with the forest and its many creatures. They could cast spells, write curses, and draw up wards. This youth had none of that. All he had was some seriously watered down blood and enough angsty ambition to drive at least a trilogy of cheap teen novels. Sadly, Mark was all the god had to work with.

For the moment, at least.

While his shaman thrust the star with the Pines into the magicked model of an old 80s movie set, Madladl extended his gaze beyond these magical, underground stars. He had learned from touching them earlier that Bill Cipher was no longer in this reality. He had been snatched up by a creature capable of walking across all dimensions. He was a being who could stand at the side of the great Axolotl, perhaps even above him! One thing was certain, wherever this creature went, he left a trail of destruction and… Corruption.

As Madladl strained his eyes, he saw that this Corruption linked this dimension to not just others in the multiverse, but to worlds and possibilities beyond! If he was going to achieve his old status, surpass it, and then kill Bill Cipher with his own hands, he would need power unlike anything he yet had. There were clues among the stars. He just had to find them and gather them.

His concentration was broken as Mark exclaimed, "Yes! It's working. Hahaha! They are separated, and soon the gerblins will have them down! All hail the Gerblin King."

Mark finished that last part in a sing song-ish voice. Madladl growled and leaned close to his shaman.

"Be careful. Don't let the initial success deter you from finishing the job. If you want Wendy, you must be rid of Mabel and Dipper Pines. So, be quick about it!"

"Right," Mark answered. "Okay, a small horde of these Gerblins and some boulders might just do the part nicely!"

Madladl shook his head and left Mark alone with his toys.

 _At least the boy shouldn't be able to botch up this job_ , he thought.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The classroom around Dipper started to change and take on a medieval look.

 _History is coming straight for us!_ He thought wildly. He brought the walkie talkie up to his mouth and shouted, "Mabel! Boy bands rule! Boy bands rule!"

She immediately came on and laughed, "I never expected you to actually say that! Ha! So you finally admit that they do?"

"Mabel, now's the time for this," Dipper shouted into the receiver. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?"

"Overly cheesy walls and hay and rocks sprouting up everywhere?"

"YES!"

Dipper's classroom melted and remolded itself to look like an overgrown courtyard in the middle of a decrepit, Dark Ages town. Moldering buildings with caved in roofs and too much plant over growth were everywhere. A cold sun looked down on the bewildered students. Chickens were running around everywhere. His classmates looked bewildered and started freaking out.

"Hey everyone, there's no need to panic," Dipper shouted after climbing up tonto his desk.

"There's totally reason to panic," Mabel's voice came over the radio.

"Not now, Mabel!" Dipper shouted back. His voice cracked a little as he said, "Guys, I know that something bad is happening, but getting scared and running around will get us nowhere! We need to come up with a plan!"

"Dipper Pines, get off the school's property," the teacher huffed. "And I'll be taking control of things from here, okay!? Now then, let's see, getting transported to another dimension probably falls under fire drill, so everyone lineup in two rows and then follow me!"

"That's a terrible idea," Dipper protested.

There was a scratchy roar and the ground shook as a monster entered the clearing. It was draped in shaggy fur with a steel cap on its head and long horns that curled high over its ears. It looked down a long snout at the kids.

"Looks like Mama's gonna have pork chops tonight," it rumbled.

"Hmm, a giant monster coming to eat us. That definitely falls under suspicious character on campus. Alright everyone, under those desks!"

The monster stooped down and popped Dipper's teacher into its mouth. The children screamed as the monster chewed the man up and then spat out his cheap tie.

"I really wish I still had those gnome gauntlets," Dipper cursed under his breath as he dove for backpack. He got a hold of the flashlight with the resizing gem. "Alright, everything is under control."

"Everything is not under control, Dipper! I repeat, everything is not under control," Mabel shouted on her end of the walkie.

"Not helping," Dipper said angrily.

He turned around just as the monster was reaching for him. Flipping the gem to the right side, he shown the light and the giant's body shrank, but the hand remained really large. The monster plopped to the ground hard, looking awkward and funny with its lopsided body.

"I'll get you for this," it squeaked.

"I'd like to see you try," Dipper laughed confidently.

The giant's hand got up like a spider and scuttled after Dipper.

"Of course you would do something like that..." Dipper ran out of the room and shouted back to the class, "Make a fort of the desks and stay put until I or Mabel get back to you!"

The creature gave chase and left the students alone. One of the girls turned to her friends and asked, "When did Dipper Pines become such a man?"

"Hey, I saw him first!" The friend shouted, and soon they were pulling each other's hair.

A nerd off in the corner pushed up his glasses and wheezed, "Why doesn't stuff like that ever happen to me?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After the classroom transformed around Mabel, she started overturning desks and tables to make a barricade. Dipper was being an idiot. He didn't realize what had just happened, but she had seen enough 80s cult classics to know what they were in store for. She was pretty sure they were in the Maze. Monsters would be coming for them soon, and unless she found a helpful caterpillar, there was no way she would be able to navigate this labyrinth on her own, or even with her brother's help. After trying to warn her brother, she set to helping her scared classmates.

"We are going to need weapons. Weapons I say! Casandra, sharpen those number 2 pencils! William, find the hard erasers, they make good rocks! Shelly, make a fire using your extra layers of emo clothes! And Keith!"

A dorky looking kid turned with a big, expectant smile towards her.

"Dang it, change your name! I mean, who even names their child that anymore?"

Quiverstaff strode over and shouted over the din, "Everyone must remain calm! I'm sure there is a plausible explanation to why this happened!"

"Yes, the weirdness has escaped Gravity Falls and has come for me and my brother! We have to fight it off," Mabel said distractedly.

"Wait a moment," Shelly said as her clothes started burning. "You mean you and Little Dipper are responsible for this?"

Mabel suddenly realized her slip of the tongue.

"What!? Pfffft! No! I mean that we might be the cause, but that's no reason to jump to conclusions."

"Oh, I think we have a good idea as to how to react to this knowledge," Ms. Quiverstaff said with an evil grin. "Throw her out of the classroom children. If whatever powers brought us here want here, then we must give her up to appease them and save ourselves."

"But you're a public servant," Mabel gasped.

"This is the 21st century, Ms. Pines, I don't get paid enough to care," Ms. Quiverstaff shouted.

As her fellow students descended upon her, a gang of miniature goblins came into the clearing that had once been their classroom. In unintelligible speech, they squawked and jabbed at the kids. They then produced small knives and swords and charged.

"Enough of this," Mabel cried out, and she used her backpack to batter way through the creatures.

"Capture her! For the Gerblin King!" one of the monsters shouted.

 _Gerblins! So, I was right. We are in the movie Maze_!

Mabel made her way to a wall and took out her grappling hook.

"No weapons on the campus," Ms. Quiverstaff shouted.

"Tell them that," Mabel called back as she slung her way to safety.

The Gerblins split into two groups. One party attacked her class while the others tried making a gerblin ramp up to the top of the wall. They were so small that it would never work.

"The blades," one shouted gleefully.

At first, Mabel was confused, and then she saw the rotation hack saw blade coming for her. She managed to jump to another wall, but figured that she would have to climb down soon. The Maze was not built to accommodate cheaters. Mabel turned back to watch her classmates fall to the gerblins. Ms. Qiverstaff was already down and getting dragged away.

"And you had such an appropriate name for fighting, too," Mabel shouted through small tears. Yes, her class was a bunch of jerks, but nobody deserved that! She picked up a loose brick and screamed, "Have a taste of this!"

She lobbed the projectile right at the gerblins. One them was crushed under the brick and she springs and gears burst from it.

"Your King wears pants that show off just how little of a man he really is," Mabel taunted as she repelled down to the ground. "How about you poop brains try taking on someone your own size!"

"She insulted the King! Get her!"

 _Yes! I'll lead them away from the others_ , Mabel thought as she tore into the maze. _I just hope I can get to Dipper before he realizes what he's up against._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dipper panted as he led his own monster away from his class and towards a long ramp. He could see something at the top of the ramp. He also heard people calling out in distress. Teachers and students everywhere were beset upon by little monsters. And every now and then he saw a big monster, too. He worried about Mabel, but he had to get away from the hand monstrosity first.

The giant was closing in and Dipper knew he had to get somewhere that a giant hand could not. He saw a tall pole with feet sticking out all over it. Dipper quickly climbed up the stalk.

"Man, this stinks. Literally!"

The giant came up to the pole and began to climb up as well. Dipper flipped the gem and grew his hand, which he then used to punch the giant off the feet. He whooped with excitement and then shrank his hand before he lost his balance. He took in his surroundings and saw students everywhere fending off smaller monsters. He then saw what, or rather who, was up at the top of the ramp.

Principal Louise Aguste was tied to a block, where a large and hairy monster with an axe stood ready. Dipper's stomach fell out the bottom as he realized what was coming.

"No!"

One teenager's plea for mercy would never have been enough. The axe swung up and down and the dead man's head rolled down the ramp. Dipper turned away from the grizzly scene. A voice cackled evilly from above.

"Just like the head, make them all roll! Make them all roll!"

Where have I heard that voice before? Dipper wondered.

He heard the clanking of machinery and then large boulders popped up from the labyrinth's floor and then rolled down the ramp. They sped towards the students! Dipper was not in the mood to lose anyone else, even if these kids and adults did look down on him. He pointed the flashlight and shrunk the boulders down to harmless pebbles.

Dipper then jumped down from the foot pole and landed hard on the giant's body. He heard it crack and then springs and wires flew in all kinds of directions.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no!" Dipper squealed. "Not auto mechanical puppets! Dang it! Now one of my irrational fears just became totally justified!"

Mabel had been right, one could not simply navigate their way through the maze without a caterpillar friend, or some nice, hairy beast called Sweetums. She knew what she would have to do. She stopped in her track and allowed the gerblins to draw near.

She said in a strong voice, "I wish to be taken to the Gerblin King!"

The gerblins tripped over themselves and fell at her feet.

"She said the words!"

"I know!"

"How does a human know them?"

"Why do we have to follow them again?"

"I guess this means we have to take her right?"

The gerblins swarmed over Mabel. She cried out in shock. The little monsters covered her field of vision. It was worse than being kidnapped by gnomes. Well… That wasn't entirely accurate. It was all over soon, and they jumped back from her. She was in a tall tower and before her stood a teenager in tight pants and he also sported, long, bleached hair.

"The Gerblin King!" Mabel gasped.

"Yes, baby, what do you want," he asked with a pouty face and bad impression of an English drawl.

"I want you to leave this school alone," Mabel said sternly.

"Sorry, no can-do baby, I'm here to kill you and your brother after all. So, thank you for coming to me." The Gerblin King smiled at her. "Do you at least want to see your brother die before I get rid of you?"

He pointed to a bubbling cauldron wherein Mabel saw her brother fighting with all his might and with the flashlight to defeat a horde of gerblins and giants. He looked scared, but he was making a very brave show. Some of the other kids and teachers were helping him as well. Gears and puppets littered the ground.

"He can't keep it up forever. Besides, I have an unspeakable horror in store for him," the Gerblin King said excitedly.

"Quick question," Mabel asked. "Do you control the entire maze with your little glass ball, like in the movie?"

"Sure do."

"Prove it," Mabel said, jabbing a finger at the man.

He huffed and produced the ball. "Sure, let me summon the beast."

Mabel pulled out her attack glitter and blew in the King's face. He cried out in pain. Mabel jumped up and swatted the ball away from him and it crashed onto the stone floor, shattering. The world of Maze was blown into oblivion, swallowing Dipper and Mabel in darkness.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ouch! Ouch! It's so pretty, but it hurts," Mark wailed in agony. "Why did I not see that coming?"

Madladl had expected as much from the stupid teen. He slapped him hard over the head.

"Silence you idiot! Why didn't you just kill them straight away?"

"They're tougher than they look," Mark complained.

The god scoffed at his servant, but then said, "At least this morning wasn't an entire waste. I've learned some very important things. Things that will benefit the both of us. However, for now we must retreat. You must get back to school and play the role of a good student and teenager. The Pines, all four of them, will be here in Gravity Falls soon. We'll catch them in a new trap once they have arrived."

Madladl laughed at his own brilliance and Mark looked up at his god and thought he looked even more crisp and real than before.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Mabel, Mabel, wake up," Grunkle Stan's voice and bad breath called to her.

Mabel sat up too quickly and moaned, "Oh ow. Little pretty stars everywhere. Feel like fainting."

"No time for fainting now, pumpkin," Grunkle Stan said, picking her and taking her down a hallway.

Mabel looked all around her and saw students and teachers just getting up. It was as though they had all been knocked out. She then saw Dipper next to Stan, a somber expression on his face.

"What's with the long face, Dipping Sauce?"

"A lot of people died," he mumbled. He was holding Wendy's hat in his hands, balling it up.

"I know," Mabel said quietly. "But I saw you fight pretty well back there."

"Really? How?" Dipper looked confused and Stan looked worried.

"I met the Gerblin King and broke his magical ball," she smiled weakly.

"Ha! I knew the place looked familiar," Dipper said, suddenly sounding like his old self.

"Well, you can tell us all about it on the way back to Gravity Falls," Grunkle Stan said. "Ford is coming up with a story for the authorities, and also telling your parents what we are doing with you. You'll be safest with us."

With that, the three Pines strode through a set of double doors and into the bright, morning sun.

BRX UHPLQG PH RI WKH EDEH

ZKDW EDEH, WKH EDEH ZLWK WKH SRZHU

GDQFH PDJLF, GDQFH


	4. Episode 4 - Return to the Falls

Stan sped through northern California and into Oregon. Dipper and Mabel sat in the back of the Stanmobile, with a sleeping Waddles packed between them, and discussed with Ford what was going on and what their next move would be. It was a pretty animated conversation, which was understandable considering what the twins had just been through, surviving their middle school turning into an 80s flick maze of death. The Stans had managed to convince the folks to let them take Dipper and Mabel back to Gravity Falls, where there were friends and they would be safe in their care. School was obviously closed until further notice, and so the twins' parents were understanding of the notion. Ford with his persuasive abilities had managed everything nicely. Though it had been a real shock for mom and dad to discover that the twin Stans were a real deal.

"So, you detected a spike in weirdness at Piedmont and rushed over," Dipper surmised. "But what makes you think that it was Bill?"

"It was a spike of power on the level of something like bringing a fiend through from the Chaos Dimension," Ford explained. "Though Stanley erased Bill from existence, remember that little statue we found out in the woods? Also, beings as powerful as him leave a very deep imprint on the multiverse. It is possible that some kind of dark magic from this side or from another dimension might have brought Bill back in some kind of form. The only way to know for certain is to summon him…"

"But that's too dangerous," Dipper began to protest from the backseat.

"Hey, no backseat complaining, shorty," Grunkle Stan snapped.

"You have a point Dipper," Ford admitted. "However, we will be prepared. We will reconvene the circle meant to banish Bill. Should he be somehow still alive, whether trapped, or brought back in some kind of form, we'll be able to send him back with the Cipher Wheel. Also, remember, this attack came to your school. I cannot see it as a cosmic coincidence, no matter the odds!"

"I agree, Grunkle Ford," Mabel said. "But I'm entirely sure that it was Bill."

"Then who," the uncles asked together.

"I saw some strange person in my locker. Or I thought I saw one. At first I was thinking it was the invisible wizard that lives in the Mystery Shack, but I never knew him to get so violent."

"Nah, it couldn't have been an invisible wizard," Ford answered. "They've all flown south in preparation for the winter. But if you saw someone…"

"There's no use in worrying about it right now," Stan said assertively. "We first have to get back to Gravity Falls and establish a base of operations."

"Look at you sounding all adventurous these days," Mabel smiled. "You two traveling the world and defeating evil has been doing wonders for both of you! What have you been up to?"

"The usual, you know? Fighting sea monsters, exposing government conspiracies, finding strange beasts running amok," Stan, ticking them down on his fingers. "Amok, that's such a strange word, right? Oh yeah, and who could forget our most recent adventures!?"

He slugged his brother in the arm.

"Stanley! There are children present in the car," For grumbled under his breath.

"The abridged version is that we staked some hot women of the night and then learned of the 'disturbance' happening at your home," Stan said, clearly annoyed at having to edit the story.

"And when can we get the non-abridged version," Mabel giggled.

"How old are you again, twelve," Stan grinned through the rearview mirror.

"Thirteen," Dipper shot back with his own grin. "And we all spent time in jail together. We're hardened enough criminals to hear what you have to say!"

"Can't argue with the, bro," Stan said, wagging his eyebrows at Ford. "See kids, it all began when we went to Moscow, there we f-"

"Stanley! We need gas! Look there," Ford shouted, pointing to a gas station.

"Hot Belgian waffles, you're right," Stan said, hitting the breaks.

The twins went head first into the seats. Waddles squealed into alertness as he flew, too.

"Ouch! Grunkle Stan, being a lead foot shouldn't also apply to the breaks," Dipper complained.

"What about the story," Mabel pressed.

"We just staked some classy women who were feeding off of men in Moscow," Ford said hurriedly.

"Oh! Like vampires," Mabel asked.

"What? No, no! Definitely not vampires!"

"What were they then," Dipper now asked.

"Succubus," Ford lied straight face. He pumped his fist for the win.

"Why make such a big deal about that, then?" Dipper gave his uncles a confused look as they pulled up to the Atbash Gas & Co.

"Never mind that," Ford said, waving his hand as Stan got out of the car. "How fast do you think you can round up the others for the circle? Wendy, and the rest."

"We should let them know we are coming," Mabel said happily. "Dibs on the phone!"

"You know, you guys are taking this whole ordeal pretty well, all things considered," Ford said appreciatively.

Dipper gave him a serious look and said, "We survived Weirdmageddon. We can handle this."

"Good man," Ford grinned. "And lady, too."

Mabel was already out the door and running for the payphone, but Grunkle Stan was already there. She put her fists on her hips and pouted.

"Aren't you supposed to be gassing up the car?"

"Shhh! Already on it," Stan said, putting a finger to her lips.

"Yuck! Great uncle taste! Blarg!"

Stan was speaking into the phone again, "Look, just get everything ready for when I get there! This will be something that will grab everyone's attention! I want it to be big!"

Mabel overheard some mumbling on the other end, but couldn't make out what the mumbler was saying.

"Excellent," Stan cackled. "I knew I could count on you!" After he hung up he turned to Mabel and asked, "What's up, toots, I already have the gas going. We'll be off soon."

"I just wanted to call up to the Shack and let Soos know we're coming."

Grunkle Stan waved a hand and said, "Don't worry. Already taken care of!"

"And he's gonna throw us a party!?" Mabel got excited as she started piecing things together.

"Yes. That's right. A party," Grunkle Stan said uncertainty, looking around with shifty eyes. "Alright, back to the backseat with you!"

As they got back to the car they overheard Ford telling Dipper, "And that is why I was so surprised to find that the Soviet Union fell apart when it did. I mean, it should have stood for another ten years what with the programs they had going for them!"

"Sweety, make sure you sing at the top of your lungs to keep these nerds from droning on about pointless history and stuff," Stan whispered to his great niece.

"I got you covered," Mabel said confidently.

As the Pines entered Gravity Falls, they all took a collective sigh. It had not been long at all since they all left for school, adventures, and growing up, but it felt too long and it was like coming home. Stan drove them straight to the Mystery Shack where Soos, Melony, and Wendy were all waiting and waving.

"Soos! Melony! Wendy! It's so good to see everyone again," mabel laughed, rocketing out of the car to tackle Soos and high five Wendy!

"What's up ham bone," Soos laughed back.

"Oh you, the usual. Surviving evil spells, bullies, and a school that wants to kill you. Oh my gosh! Melony, it's too wonderful to have you back here! When are you and Soos tying the knot," Mabel finished with a wink.

"Uh, Mabel, that's sweet, but I'm just here working and getting to know Soos better," Melony said a little embarrassed.

"What she said," Soos nodded quickly in agreement.

"Can I take relationship photos yet," Abuelita asked, poking her head out through the front door.

"Not yet, Abuelita," Soos called to her. "Remember, we're trying to keep it on the DL. That's code for down low! Gotta let the elderly know how we youngin's speak these days."

"Of course," Dipper grinned at him, walking up with hands in his pockets.

""Sup my dude!" Wendy said, slugging him the arm.

"Like Mabel said, the usual of dealing with weirdness. I think it follows us like a plague nowadays," Dipper answered.

"A plague of awesomeness!" Wendy protested. "Since you guys left, things have been too boring around here! I have seriously considered hotwiring a car and coming to visit you guys."

"Darn, we should have told the evil mastermind behind the attack to wait a few days," Dipper said, pulling a face and snapping his fingers.

"Seriously, dude, how inconsiderate of him," Wendy laughed, taking her hat off Dipper's head and swapping him. They didn't say it out loud, but the smiles on their faces said it was good to be back together, and with the right hats on the right heads, they felt complete. "Back to good old times, Dip. Now we can get the party rolling."

"And speaking of parties," Stan cut in. "Soos. Do you have everything ready like I asked?"

"Oh, we're already starting the welcome back party," Mabel gushed. "I'm so excited to see what you've cooked up Soos!"

Before the handyman turned Mystery Shack owner could respond, Grunkle Stan was already steering him away. Melony quickly followed after them. Waddles rolled out of the car and brought up the rear.

"No Abuelita, you may not roast the pig," Soos called from within the Shack.

"Stanley, where do you think you're going," Ford huffed.

"Getting ready for the whole summoning Bill's corpse shindig," Stan called over his shoulder. "Shouldn't you be getting McGucket, or something like that."

"Of course, you're right," Ford said. "I'll be off to that gaudy manor of his immediately. Dipper, Mabel, do not hesitate in getting the other members of the circle! The sooner we do this, the better. Hopefully, we can put all of this danger behind us today."

"Woah, what's going on," Wendy asked.

"Well, Ford thinks that what happened at our school might be connected to Bill Cipher in some way," Dipper explained. "We are going to perform some kind of summoning, or séance, something like that to determine if he was behind it. If he was, we'll use the circle this time to make sure that we banish him for good!"

"Dude, that some serious stuff. What exactly happened at your school again?"

The twins quickly explained the whole affair to their friend, who did a good job of responding at all the right moments and in the best ways possible.

"Well, even if it means that your stay here is short," Wendy said. "It's best if we keep you two safe. Can't have you dying on me yet!"

"How about ever," Mabel ventured.

"Exactly," Dipper chimed in. "We need to find Robbie, Gideon, and Pacifica and get them to meet us back here at the Shack to perform the ritual."

"Let's go grab up the other losers," she smirked. "Last one to Greasy's Diner is a sack of rotting gnome crap!"

"You're on," Dipper and Mabel chimed in.

By the time they reached the diner, the twins were out of breath and Dipper panted, "I should have accounted for your longer legs from the beginning."

"Too caught up in the moment," Mabel gasped. "Time to pass out!"

"That's nothing guys, you should try being in my PE class, or better yet, my family's apocalypse survival," Wendy laughed.

"I would have thought we all graduated this summer," Dipper coughed.

Wendy shrugged, "My dad is a nut job sometimes. Okay, Robbie and the others should be here."

"Gideon and Pacifica, too?" Mabel tilted her head.

"No, we'll find Pacifica at the mall, most likely. She's trying to help her parents earn back their millions by modeling her newest brand of fall wear," Wendy said. "She's pretty good at it. For a thirteen year old and all. Gideon is hanging out at the park as usual with the bikers. It's like he's making his own kingdom out there."

"Some things never change," Dipper said, shaking his head.

"Bro, we've only been gone for like a month," Mabel pointed out.

"It feels longer, okay! And don't try denying it," Dipper snapped.

"I'm with Dipper on this one," Wendy said, pushing the door open. "Hey losers! Guess who just rolled into town!?"

Wendy's gang looked up and all cheered as the Pines entered. Other patrons did as well.

"Look! It's Mabel and Dipper!"

"The heroes have returned to the Falls!"

"Shhh! We don't talk about that!"

"That's right… Hey there upstanding citizens!"

"Free pies on the house!"

"Pines! Pines! Pines!"

"Thank you! Thank you," Mabel called out, bowing to everyone. "Autographs and pictures are free!"

"What's bring you dorks back to town," Robbie asked, leaning back with his arm around Tambry.

"We've just survived our school turning into an 80s death trap and trying to murder us," Dipper shrugged. "No big deal!"

Wendy pulled the bill of his cap down and said, "No big deal! This guy took out a whole herd of gerblins! Mabel here took on the Gerblin King and won, saving everyone!"

"That's so cool" Thompson saighed.

"Classic Dipper and Mabel," Lee laughed.

"Wait, you let your sister outclass you again," Robbie asked with a smug expression.

"I would like to see you try upstaging her," Dipper challenged.

Robbie was about to argue, but then shrugged, "You have a point, squirt."

"Look guys, while what Dipper and Mabel did was awesome, the job isn't done," Wendy said. "Tonight, we are going to confront Bill Cipher and find out if he was behind what happened in Piedmont!"

Thompson sputtered his shake all down his shirt. "What!? You can't be serious!"

Nate shook his head, "Why would you do something like that?"

"Because Ford thinks we might find some answers that way, which is why need Robbie there," Dipper explained. "We are going to use the circle to banish Bill should he still be alive somehow. I doubt that he is, but we have to try."

"That circle didn't work last time," Robbie sniffed. "Besides, I am not comfortable with holding hands with any of you. That was embarrassing enough last time!"

"What, not man enough for it," Wendy challenged, with a smirk.

"Oh, the glove had been thrown," Lee shouted dramatically.

"I think it's gauntlet," Thompson mumbled.

"Nah man! Fingerless glove in this case," Nate laughed. "How are you gonna respond, man?"

"Psh! Fine! I'll do it," Robbie said, looking away with his nose in the air.

"Status update, bringing back the apocalypse tonight," Tambry said to her phone as she typed away.

"Head to the Mystery Shack when you are done here," Wendy instructed. "We're going to get Pacifica and Gideon."

They said their goodbyes to everyone in the diner and munched on some delicious pie as they left. Wendy took them through an alleyway to get to the mall quicker. As they passed through, Dipper and Mabel looked up at one of the brick walls and saw a monstrous, black dragon with unfurled wings dominating the scene. Golden, angular veins flowed down its arms, and red eyes seemed to follow them.

"Did Robbie start getting really good at tagging since we've been gone," Dipper asked.

"It needs more color. And glitter under the eyes and wings," Mabel critiqued.

"No, it's just kinda been there since this summer," Wendy frowned. "Like the Bill tag, we can't get rid of it, so it just stays there."

"Bill tag?"

"Yeah, here at the corner," Wendy pointed to a corner of the building where painted had been splashed over multiple times. Burned in the center of the paint mess was unmistakably an image of Bill Cipher. "You can't chip it away or paint over it. It just keeps coming back."

"This looks like solid evidence that Bill might still be around somehow," Dipper said, rubbing his chin. "But how? He was in Grunkle Stan's mind and Ford erased him! I didn't want to believe it, but this looks clear."

"We shouldn't jump to conclusion, Dipper," Mabel pointed out. "Yes, so maybe there could be a chance that Stan getting his memories back helped Bill return as well. But you can't take some demon piece of graffiti to be proof."

"Mabel's right, dude. We won't know for sure until later. Let's just go and get the others," Wendy said, laying a hand on Dipper's shoulders.

"Right," Dipper said resolutely. "Let us go to the mall!"

Finding Pacifica wasn't difficult. She was strutting through the center of the building in her chosen fall colors and had stylish sunglasses on.

"Not the colors I would have personally picked. But they do work well," Mabel said appreciatively at the blend of reds, golds, and deep brown.

"If you say," Dipper and Wendy commented together.

"Hey Pacifica! We need to talk to you!" Mabel shouted.

"Wait… What?" Pacifica jerked about in mid strut and lost her balance, falling hard and in a tangle of blonde hair and fabric.

The twins helped her up and soon they related the same story to Pacifica as they had at the diner, tough Pacifica was more intent on details than the other teens. Especially the circle part.

"Do I have to hold hands with the crazy, old man again," she shivered.

"Probably," Mabel smiled. "So, ya in? Not like you have much of a choice."

"Sure thing," Pacifica grinned. "Anything to get out of doing homework tonight."

"But homework isn't too bad," Dipper said.

"Spoken like a true nerd," Pacifica sneered at him. "I guess I could always pay you to do it."

"After that comment, no thanks!"

"I can pay you forty bucks up front."

"Deal," Dipper said, holding out his hand, but looking away.

"Bring it later to the Mystery Shack," Wendy cut in. "Try to make it there as quickly as you can! The sooner we get this done, the better!"

It didn't take long for the trio to make their way to the park and find Gideon. He was being watched by three thugs as he tried desperately to look cool to skateboard. For the third time, the twins related what had happened to them. Gideon was not the kind of listener they wanted; he snorted and giggled at the death and troubles they had witnessed. It made the weight of what they had gone through return to them. Dipper and Mabel had been able to escape it while traveling with the grunkles and being around their old friends, but now it returned.

If they wanted to move on, they had to complete the ritual tonight and seal away whatever was left of Cipher for good. So, they endured Gideon.

"Well, if it'll put yer troubled minds at ease, I'd be delighted to come and help out," Gideon said in his folksy accent. "Especially if it means that I get to hold Mabel's hand again. Oooh!"

"I told you not to make anything of it," Mabel snapped.

"Did I promise that," Gideon pulled an innocent face.

"Just be there as soon as you can," Mabel grunted and walked away.

"I'll be sure to get ready! Ghost Eyes, fetch me my best suit," Gideon called, snapping his fingers.

"Sure thing, Gideon!"

As the trio returned to the Mystery Shack, Wendy filled the twins in on all the details about her life that she couldn't through mail. Life in high school was hard, especially without them around. She wasn't working a the Shack during the school year, but she still dropped by to chat it up with Soos. She informed Mabel and Dipper and that Soos and Melony were getting serious and that it was super cute, in a gagging kind of way.

A jumpy teen saw them coming and dove behind a bush.

"Oh, that's another thing… Mark Epstine is trying to weasel his way into my life again."

"Who now," Dipper asked.

"Wait, was it that one guy who never stopped calling you," Mabel said, realization dawning.

"He's the one," Wendy said grimly. "He's been acting super weird lately."

"Even weird for this place," Dipper laughed nervously.

"Yeah. Oh well, Mark's nothing I can't handle," Wendy winked.

Once they returned to the Shack, they saw a disgruntled Ford with Fiddleford McGucket and a crowd of people.

"What's all this?" Dipper was bewildered.

"It's our party," Mabel gushed.

"Hardly," Ford snorted. "Stanley got it into his head that he should do a special event with Soos. Have people pay to see us bring back Bill. Or at least attempt. He's charging an arm and leg for the experience."

"Sounds like Stan" Dipper sighed.

"Robbie's really going to sweat now," Wendy laughed.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Stan announced over the crowd, appearing a puff of smoke. "For one night only, the original Mr. Mystery is back to bring you an event unlike any you have seen before! The return of the great chaos demon!" People from town booed while late tourists and people from Japan oohed and awed. The rest of the people for the circle arrived and Stan announced, "We have everyone present! Let us be off to the site of the unholy ritual! Ooooooh!"

Stan was dressed again in his old suit complete with the fez. He marched off and Ford called out, "The other way, Stanley!"

"Right! I knew that! Just wanted to give everyone the scenic tour!"

Dipper and Mabel managed to get close to Stan and ask him why he was doing this, he answered in hushed tones, "Turns out finding treasure ain't so easy. So, I'm going to rake in the dough tonight so Ford and I can keep traveling."

"Maybe you should charge for you services fighting monsters and stuff," Mabel suggested.

"Ford is too much of a bleeding heart to do that. Plus, we would then have to run from the IRS again," Stan confessed.

Once they got to the abandoned statue of Bill, what had once been his physical body, Stan charged people a hundred buck for each photo they took with the dead chaos demon. People lapped it up and spent hundreds taking pictures. Ford just shook his head, while Soos praised Stan's commercial sense, and Wendy laughed with her friends at the spectacle. As the light of day was about to wane completely, Ford managed to make himself heard.

"That's enough! Can we please get this over with!?"

"Sheesh! Fine! Alright, everyone, line up over there," Stan instructed as Ford painted the old Cipher Wheel in the grass around Bill.

Ford then took out a photo of himself and crossed out the eyes. He lit candles around Bill and then had everyone hold hands. Dipper and Gideon were both pleased with their partners, like last time. Wendy gave Dipper a quick wink before Ford began chanting 'backwards message' to get Bill to appear. Thunder sounded from above and a strange aurora of blood red appeared in the twilight. The ground shook and there was a high pitch scream, but nothing happened to the statue and Bill did not appear. That did not stop the crowd from freaking out.

Ford pulled out a strange device from one of his many pockets and checked it. "This is strange… Something is definitely happening around here, but there is no hint of weirdness from where we're standing."

"Unless you count this awkward hand holding," Robbie complained. "Can I let go now?"

"Sure. Sure! Bill is gone. There isn't a trace of him," Ford said, clearly confused. He looked up to the aurora, which was already vanishing. "Something is definitely going on here. If Bill was truly gone and that was all, then nothing would have happened. But something else answered the call. At least in part. This will take some research."

"And in the meantime, souvenirs and apocalypse survival equipment can be bought at the Mystery Shack," Stan called out. The crowd cheered and ran off towards the Shack.

"But this makes no sense," Dipper said again. "Everything that has been happening… Who could do it if not Bill?"

Ford shook his head, "Dipper, there are forces out there even more ancient than Bill Cipher. And some of them are as strong or stronger than he was. We might be quite possibly dealing with one of them."

"Does this mean you'll all be sticking around longer," Wendy asked hopefully.

"Most assuredly," Ford answered.

"Oh goodie," Gideon squealed.

"And I'm getting a restraining order," Mabel grumbled.

"And we're going to be rich," Stan cheered.

"And I'm Soos!"

From within the deepening shadows of the forest, Madladl watched the group. The prophesied defeaters of the great Bill Cipher. Seeing them all together, he saw that they were formidable, but they lacked the discipline of warriors and saviors. They lacked the qualities that made legends. He felt confident that he could defeat them. His plan would be set into motion soon. His one concern was Stanford Pines. That brilliant man might be too quick and realize what was going on before the plan could be enacted.

Madladl would have to find a way of distracting them for a little while for his spell to mature. Through the shadows, he touched a metal tree, and grinned. He had just the idea in mind.

GSV HKVOO DZH XLIIVXG

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NB DLIP RH EVIB YFHB

RM GSV HFKVIMZGFIZO ZLMV


	5. Episode 5 - Out of the Bunker

Madladl opened the door the secret bunker by flicking the tree branch, thereby activating the contraption. He loomed over the opening hole in a form that was less transparent than before. He was growing in power. Having discovered the Starlines and the hole opened up by the Tscheapwhetzar, there was great cosmic power that he could now feed on.

Yes, one of the Accursed had come to Gravity Falls, and as could be expected, chaos was building in the creature's wake. It was the greatest stroke of fortune Madladl could have hoped for! After having been imprisoned by Bill when the ancients of this valley had made contact with the dream demon, the god had thought he was done for. He had consumed his own siblings in an attempt to have enough power to stave off the mad Cipher, but it had not worked.

Yes, he was very fortunate. Fortunate enough to have seen through the Starlines some very peculiar things. He had caught glimpses of Gravity Falls' recent past, and he had learned about this special bunker. More importantly, he had learned of the beast that dwelled within and its grudge against the Pines family. Those meddlesome twins were more capable than he had given them credit for. If he was going to defeat them, reclaim his old body and full strength, and rule the Falls once more, he needed to know their weaknesses. However, a pesky barrier of unicorn hair prevented him from entering the Pines' abode. The shape shifter under this mechanical tree would be exactly what he needed to break in.

Once the steps lowered and the path to the bunker was made clear, Madladl swooped in and snaked his way through the doors, beyond the lab, and to the stasis pod where the creature was frozen. It had taken the form of Dipper as it was frozen. Madladl chuckled and broke the pod. Clouds of frozen carbon spilled forth and the shape shifter quickly thawed. Before it go anywhere, Madladl caught it by the throat.

"I am freeing you, creature, but on a special condition. You will infiltrate the Mystery Shack and remove the unicorn hair protection spell around the place." Madladl then jabbed a razor finger into the beast's eye. It screamed as he did, but he spoke over the anguished cry. "Secondly, you will get a look into the eyes of each person there and tell me their greatest fears. From there I will be able to construct my next plan. After that, you may torment them however you wish, but not kill them!"

The shape shifter reverted to its natural form, but its left eye became a strange swirling hole. It shivered and asked, "What have you done!?"

"I made you into the spy I needed, that is all," Madladl said smugly.

"And why am I not allowed to kill my captors," the creature seethed.

"Because I need their deaths at the proper time," Madladl explained patiently. "Do your job well, and you'll have your fun, and later, you can have your revenge by helping me. Otherwise, you are free to act for yourself. Just know that trying to betray me will cost you very, very dearly."

He spoke that last part low and deadly, and the creature's expression clearly bespoke that it understood.

Madladl clapped his hands together and exclaimed, "Excellent! Now that we understand one another, it's time for you to get to work!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dipper and Mabel were hanging out in front of the high school during lunch. The whole gang was there, with Wendy and her friends, Grenda, Candy, and Pacifica all enjoying lunch. Dipper and Mabel just finished a dramatic retelling of their escape from their middle school so just everyone was finally on the same page. Lee and Nate whooped appreciatively at the story and picked up the twins, chanting, "Maze killers! Maze killers!"

"Well of course they got out," Pacifica drawled. "Mabel and Dipper are way too annoying to be defeated so easily by some Gerblin King and his labyrinth. If it were that easy, I would have gotten rid of you last summer, no problem."

"Then who would you have turned to, to solve your ghost problem, eh," Dipper shot back.

"And it's Mazyrinth, duh," Mabel said with her nose in the air. "Get it right!"

"I'll call it whatever I want," Pacifica said hotly. "And, Dipper, if I remember correctly, I was the one who took care of that ghost problem. There you have it."

"Lighten up, Pacifica, you know you love them," Wendy laughed.

Though Pacifica's face pinkened a bit, she joined in with everyone else as they snorted, howled, and laughed.

"It's so good to have you both back again," Candy gushed.

"Summer repeat! Summer repeat," Grenda shouted, beginning a new chant that the teens took up. Finally she said, "But seriously, though it is super cool and all to have Mabel and Dipper back, what are we going to do about whatever attacked them?"

"Woah, what? We aren't doing anything," Robbie said sourly. "Whatever it was, it didn't come here. Wasn't that what our little kumbaya was all about? Nothing happened except for some strange colors in the sky."

"It was an aura borealis," Dipper corrected him. "And something that bright shouldn't be happening this far south at this time of the year."

"Whatever," Robbie said grumpily. "If you're going to talk science around me, then go to the loser's club. It's in the basement behind the boiler."

"I thought it was wherever Mark is eating his lunch these days," Thompson quipped.

"I'm pretty certain that's behind the boiler, dude," Lee laughed.

Dipper saw a uncomfortable look fall over Wendy and suggested, "Maybe we should change the subject and I won't geek out."

Wendy immediately beamed his way and said, "That might be impossible for you, dude."

"Who is this cantankerous Mark you are bringing up anyway," Pacifica said, trying to sound uninterested.

Mabel was not as covert as she asked, "Yeah, what the greasy gossip around here since we've left!?"

"Not much, unless you count Bodacious T getting turned down by Shandra again. Even with his new look, he's still a dork," Tambry said, barely taking her eyes off her phone. "As far as Mark, the loser has been stalking us recently, so we told him to get lost."

"Why does that name sound so familiar," Mabel asked with play-acted suspicion.

Wendy waved a hand and said, "I think I brought him up once. One of my exes who never stopped calling me." She then shot a look at Robbie and continued, "At least someone has learned his lesson!"

Mabel and Dipper now shared a quick, uncomfortable expression, but the teens all started laughing again before Wendy finished saying, "Yeah, he would never stop calling me. But recently, it's stopped. So, progress I guess?"

"Yeah, progress is definitely good," Dipper agreed, trying to not sound awkward around the girl he still harbored feelings for.

"Oh well, that wasn't as scandalous as I was hoping it would be," Pacifica shrugged.

"Are you kidding me? Unrequited love! Broken feelings! What could be more scandalous," Candy exclaimed dramatically.

"Candy will join the drama club along with band before the year is over," Grenda confided to Mabel.

"Really," Mabel squealed. "I love the theater! No wonder we are such best friends!"

"If you're about to do a group hug, count me out," Pacifica griped.

"Me too," Robbie put in.

A moment later, Wendy had everyone pulled into a big hug just to annoy those two. As they pulled away she lamented, saying, "It's a real bummer you two dudes can't actually go with us to classes. They are so LAME! It feels again like it should be summer, but instead we have school! It's not fair!"

"Hey, at least you have an epic Halloween to look forward," Mabel said, indicating the kids from the student government putting up Halloween decorations all over the school. Once of them suddenly fell screaming from a high ladder. "And is that an advertisement for a dance I see there! Right before Halloween, too! Gravity Falls is the best!"

"Yeah, but who wants to go to a crummy school dance anyway," Robbie complained.

Tambry took his hand, "This crummy girlfriend of yours does."

"You do!? Well, umm… It's not bad at all! It's going to be totally dark and cool! Like you," he quickly back pedaled.

"Ugh, now they are going to get all mushy," Nate muttered.

"It's more entertaining than watching Wendy gush over letters from Mabel… and Dipper," Lee said with a wink, while ribbing his best friend.

Wendy slapped them both over the head and gave them a meaningful look while Dipper did his best to cover a blush. Dipper cough quickly into his hand and then spoke up.

"Mabel, if we do stick around, we might get a chance to attend the dance!" He secretly hoped that he might get another chance to dance with Wendy, and this time without any shenanigans like last time. "And then we could even stay for Halloween. Imagine trick or treating with Grunkle Ford!"

"Dip, Dip, I was totally thinking the same thing! We should try to get Stan to come as well!"

"You are such kids," Robbie smirked.

"And proud of it," Mabel responded with a puffed-out chest. "We may have grown up, but where free candy is involved, you will find the Pines!"

"I am always free," Candy giggled. "You know, because-"

"We get it," Dipper and Mabel both deadpanned.

"Maybe I'll join, too," Pacifica said. "Better than being stuck at home with my grouchy parents."

"Oh yeah, how's that all going, no longer being filthy rich," Dipper asked awkwardly before he caught Wendy making a 'cut it out' motion across her throat.

Pacifica answered blandly, "It sucks. My dad keeps saying that he is onto something that will get us back on top. But I think he just needs a real job. But it's hard to get a CEO position, you know?"

"Err, not really, but I'll take your word for it," Dipper said hesitantly.

A bell rang from the school, causing the teens to all groan.

"Back to the torture chambers," Thompson moaned.

"We should be heading back to our school as well," Grenda said, throwing a thumb over her shoulder.

"We'll keep in touch with you," Candy promised Mabel.

"Just remember dorks to walk two steps behind me as we return," Pacifica instructed instructed Mabel's friends.

"Sometimes I still want to deck," Grenda growled.

As everyone started going their separate ways, Wendy pulled down the bill of Dipper's cap and said, "See you dorks at the Shack after school!"

"See you later Wendy," Dipper laughed.

AS the twins walked away from the high school Mabel poker her brother's shoulder and asked, "Dipper, you're not still hung up on Wendy, are you?"

Dipper sighed and said honestly, "She's really great and I do like her a lot. But she was right, she's too old for me. I'm still just trying to come to terms with that. But I'll get there eventually."

Mabel was quiet for a moment, uncharacteristically so, before replying, "I'm proud of you, Bro Bro. You really have grown to be more mature and thoughtful… Even if you are still shorter than me!"

She giggled and ran off towards the Shack as Dipper chased her, shouting, "Hey, that was almost a moment back there!"

"Key word being almost," Mabel san back, before taking up the old taunt. "Alpha twin! Alpha twin!"

As they arrived at the Shack, Waddles wandered over to the them, oinking happily, dirt all over his nose. He made Mabel messy and they quickly snuggled and she brought him into the house Abuelita greeted them beyond the door. They made their way from there to the shop where Melony and Soos were talking. With Grunkle Stan back, Soos was back to his old handyman attire. The two adults were being goofy, but stopped their love bird ways when the twins entered.

"'Sup dudes! How was lunch?"

"Delicious," Dipper said simply.

"Full of juicy details of the macabre lives of teens and pre-teens," Mabel cackled.

"Where did that come from," Dipper asked uncomfortably.

His sister shrugged and said, "People expect kids our age to be all angsty as well as sweaty and awkward so that is what I'm giving them. She set down Waddles and beamed at everyone.

"I'm just happy I've grown out of that," Melony said. "I hate remembering those times."

"But those were like some of the best ever," Soos protested. "Yeah sure, people gave me wedgies or tried to close me in smelly gym lockers, but those carefree times!"

"Yeah those ended a long time ago for you, Soos," Stan said grumpily as he came in. "We need some new attraction pronto! This place has been getting stale! Hop to it!"

"But Mr. Pines, this is the off season for tourism," Melony said uneasily. "You know? With school and everything?"

"Not anymore," Stan said triumphantly. "Word of our little show has gotten around and I hear that there are some big groups coming to Garvity falls in search of a show. Ford won't let us repeat what we did, so I gotta give the suckers something to waste their cash on. Haha!"

"Grunkle Stan, why are you so obsessed again with making money? I thought it was all adventure for you," Dipper asked.

"Turns out finding buried treasure isn't so simple," Stan said disparagingly. "Sure, Ford and I have found plenty of adventure and babes, but no gold. Boats run on gas, and we need some cash if we are going to keep up traveling the world, fighting evil, and stuff."

Dipper and Mabel shared a look. They had a secret treasure of stolen time loot buried in the woods. It was something they had found while working with Blendin Blandin one time, A very strange adventure they had agreed to keep themselves, partly because Stan would be all over it in a heartbeat. But if their Grunkles needed money, shouldn't they share just a little bit? They only shrugged to each other.

"Well, you two bums can earn your keep around here and help Soos out," Stan barked. "Not now Waddles, Mabel, first feed your pig!"

Waddles was trying to chew Stan's leg and squealed with delight when he got noticed. Just then, Ford emerged from behind the vending machine and interrupted, "I need Mabel and Dipper to come down here! I think I have discovered something!"

The twins quickly sprinted to meet up with Ford, leaving Stan to grumble and get back to work. Waddles quickly followed them down the stairs. As they descended Ford rapidly explained what was going on.

"So I took note of the colors we saw in the sky. So far, I have no good explanation for why they appeared, which is frustrating, but there is a lot we can learn from colors."

Mabel got excited and said quickly, "Yes, like you can discover someone's personality based on their favorite colors, like Dipper's blue makes him moody and hard to connect with others."

"Hey!"

"Grunkle Stan's black and gold means he's a man of mystery. Soos'… well, he's a cinnamon roll, and your brown makes you a wise owl, Grunkle Ford! Wendy's red hair is super cool and alluring, right Dipper?"

Dipper was getting flustered as Ford tried to cut in, but Mabel kept going. "Colors also help you know the best couples! They also set moods for the room and party! Plus, the perfect sequence of colors for clothing makes you more personable!"

"Yes, yes! That quite right Mabel," Ford managed to get in. "But for our purposes colors go even deeper. You see, in the world of science, colors are used to measure speed, mass, and molecular build up. Beyond that, in the multiverse, colors represent power. Bill's color scheme represented chaos. The Axolotl's white and pink represent harmony and peace. What we saw with deep reds, blues, and purples bespeak a something ancient!

"I have down here some sketches of some deities that came to mind thinking about the aurora we saw. I want you to see if any of them look familiar to you. Oh, Mabel, you'll want to feed Waddles, I think."

The pig was had clamped down on Ford's pant leg and was looking up at him with beady, cute eyes. Ford gave Waddles a pat on the head and then shook him off. Mabel picked up her pig and followed the rest of the way into lab.

Ford brought them to the old desk looking out onto the disassembled portal Ford and McGucket had once built and that Stan had earlier that summer managed to bring back online. It represented to all of them bitter memories, but ones that were now thankfully overshadowed by happier ones and a better present. Except for the fact that some unknown entity had attacked the Piedmont middle school. On the desk were five pictures, rendered wonderfully by Ford's steady hand. The twins saw a three headed knight with a sword, A golden wolf, a being of shadow, a leviathan, and creature with a thousand red eyes.

"None of that looks very familiar," Dipper conceded. "The red eyes remind me of Bill. But he is gone."

"Yes, and that isn't Bill. It's Trell of a Thousand Eyes," Ford sighed. "Mabel? Anything?"

Mabel shook her head and then asked if she could pin up the pictures in a scrapbook she was working on for their newest adventure. Ford handed her the pictures with a smile and said, "At least someone here is keeping the mood bright. I have some more research in my other bunker. Dipper, would you care to accompany me?"

Like always when Ford wanted to do something with his great nephew, Dipper started fan girling. "Oh, yes! That would be AWESOME! But wait… There's-"

Mabel waved a hand and said, "Don't worry about it, I'll make sure Wendy knows you aren't ditching her."

"Isn't she too old for you," Ford aked, with a confused look.

"We're just friends," Dipper stammered.

"Well, in that case, everything should be fine. You can waste time hanging out when we get back. Let's go!"

"And I'll already start wasting time with Waddles," Mabel celebrated.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As Dipper and Ford made their way out to the bunker, Dipper talked about his previous experience in the old lair. He talked about Mabel locking him and Wendy away so that he could confess his feelings to her. Then they found the shape shifter who masqueraded as Ford, then they had an epic battle, Wendy had almost died, and then they beat it. He even confessed their heart to heart afterwards.

"I'm sorry that that little monster grew up to give you such a hard time," Ford apologized. "He was fascinating and I loved studying him and spending time with him, but he grew jealous of my time, and he is a predator, bent of capturing forms and devouring those around him. I believe that he is not a native species this planet, but probably came on the space ship that crashed here."

"Really? Wow," Dipper said with awe.

When they arrived at the tree, a well-aimed rock from Ford hit the branch and opened the hatch. As they went down Ford explained, "I built this bunker as a place to hide some of my research from Fiddleford. Also, I hoped I could hide from Bill down here, but that was impossible. Eventually, due to my increasing madness and the creature itself maturing, I sealed this place up. Some of my old research notes are here. Back then, before I studied Bill, there were other oddities I was exploring and fortunately for us, not all of them ended up in my journals."

Ford easily unlocked the door and they made their way into the research lab. As Ford began rummaging through his old gear, he made sure to pack a lot of weapons into a duffel bag. Dipper peered towards the tank where the shape shifter was imprisoned. He was not anxious to see his frozen face, but he wanted to confirm that the beast was contained.

To his horror, he saw the capsule broken open. Furthermore, the door to the cave was open…

"Great Uncle Ford!" Dipper yelped and rushed back into the armory.

"A Dipper, I found my old notebooks. They are a bit faded, but they are intact! What is it?"

"The shape shifter got out somehow! It's loose!"

Ford rushed past his great nephew and checked the scene. He frantically scoured for clues. Finally, he straightened up.

"Dipper, my boy, someone came in here and broke the creature out of his containment. Look, the glass is smashed in. But there are no footprints except our own and the creatures, at least fresh prints. It's highly likely that, even if I can't prove it yet, that whatever brought on the aurora is what broke the shape shifter out of here."

"But what do we do now?! He can make himself look and sound like anyone! We might never find him!"

"Unlikely," Ford answered patiently. "He has incredible intelligence and knows how to hold a grudge. He would likely try to make his way to our home and attack us there. We need to get back to warn the others before it's too late. I only hope he hasn't gotten there yet!"

The two of them sprinted out of the bunker and towards the Mystery Shack.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After Mabel had fed Waddles, she tried playing dress up with, a favorite past time of theirs. However, the pig wasn't in too much of a playful mood, but made his way downstairs and into the exhibit of Stan's fake oddities. Mabel decided to enjoy following her pic through the attractions until they found Grunkle Stan. He was piecing together a monster with chicken feathers, an alligator's tail, a beaver's feet, robot arms, and a decaying something for the head. The whole contraption looked to be barely held together by tape and glue. Stan was finishing it off with some goggle and a top hat on its head.

"Grunkle Stan, what exactly is this?"

"Behold! The Unspeakable Horror! Since we don't have some imprisoned diety to show off, which honestly isn't the best idea anyway, I have to have something disgusting and terrible to show the tourists," Stan explained.

"Good call on not using a live monster," Mabel congratulated. "Dipper tried that once and it did not go over well."

"Wasn't that when we had out bet about who could make the most money?"

"I still have recording of your song and dance," Mabel smiled happily.

"Forget I mentioned it," Stan said, walking by. "And make sure to burn the evidence," he called over his shoulder.

Mabel turned back to see Waddles starring up at the fake monster. "Come on Waddles, let's get out of this stuffy place and have some fun outside."

Once outside, the pig did not seem to know what to do with itself, so it played fetch with Mabel.

"Well, this is something new, but I'm enjoying it!"

After a while, she thought she heard a muffled sound.

"Come on Waddles, let's go and check it out," she said covertly. The pig looked scared and tried to pull her away from the strange noise. "Waddles! What's up? Do you smell something strange?"

Then she heard an oink and she cried out loud with happiness. "Another pig? We have to check this out!"

Mabel picked up her pig, who began squirming and screaming. She hauled him off in the direction of the sound and gasped when she saw something she had not expected and was not prepared for. Waddles was plastered to a tree by grey muck. He was struggling to get free and had managed to uncover part of his mouth. His eyes were wide with terror.

"Wha? But how can there be two Waddles?" Mabel looked down with fear at her pig, who then chuckled deeply and darkly.

"I didn't think I would be discovered so soon. At least I now have what I need," the Waddles in her arms spoke. He then transformed into the pasty white bug she had met in the bunker last summer. She noticed that it's left eye looked wrong somehow. It held her aloft and gloated, "Now I have the twin! I think I will play as you for a little while. Give the family some real grief with crazy antics. Terrorize your brother for what he did to me! I still have that wound, see?"

Mabel could see a gash that lightly oozed green goo.

"Changing my shape helped me to cover the wound and heal a little, but it still burns. I must repay him," the monster snarled. "And this time, I'm putting you and the pig out of the way where no one else will find you!"

There was a loud crack as a baseball shattered over the beast's head. It collapsed and released Mabel, who rolled away. Grunkle Stan stood over the creature, breathing hard.

"Always with the weird monsters! Why can't there be some normalcy to this place?" He then put on some brass knuckled and punched the shape shifter as it tried to rise. "Just stay down, will ya!?"

It transformed into a minotaur and tackled Stan. They struggled and rolled on the ground, trading blows as Mabel tore Waddles free from the tree.

"Stanley! What is going on," Ford shouted and puffed as he ran up.

"It's got to be the monster," Dipper cried out, pointing to the minotaur.

Ford flipped out a blaster and leveled it at the beast, screaming, "Stay down Stanley!"

"No problem," Stan grunted.

Ford fired, but the monster made a hole in its body to avoid getting hit. "Ah, the geek has returned. I can now pay you back for sticking me in that container you six fingered freak! And Dipper, you are here, too. Marvelous."

It got up and stalked forward. Ford laughed held his ground saying, "I am smarter than I was back then. If you thought I imprisoned you easily before, it'll be even easier this time!"

The minotaur shook a finger and said, "I don't think so. You see, Ford, I had time to wander and observe your brother's exhibit. I have seen so many kinds of creatures that could easily kill you. I think this new one will be fitting. The Unspeakable Horror!"

With that, the shape shifter transformed himself into the monster he had seen in the Shack and boomed, "Forget what that mad god said! I will kill you all now. Why wait? Hahaha!"

"Ugh! It's hideous," Mabel shouted. "Grunkle Stan, why did you have to give him that idea."

"How was I supposed to know that some freak like this was in my museum of mystery," Stan asked sourly. "But you have to admit, it is an unspeakable terror! Aaaaahhhhh!"

For shot off another blast, but it bounded harmlessly off the monster. The Pines all huddled together and started moving backward to the shack. The shape shifter was giving off a powerful aura of fear. He laughed wickedly at his own cleverness.

Soos and Melony ran outside and shrieked at the sight of massive creature and they too huddled with the Pines. The shape shifter gloated and roared over his prey and bore down on everyone. Stan prepared to throw one final punch, Mabel drew her attack glitter, Ford rummaged in his coat for something, and Dipper stood up straight, ready for the worst. But then the monster stopped and looked confused. Its body started bloating and swelling up.

"Why do I feel sick inside?" Those were its last words as it exploded, showering everyone with green ooze.

Fiord just stood there, stunned and said, "Huh. It seems as though all of those components to Stanley's bizarre project were incompatible. He couldn't hold the form and fell apart."

Soos spat out some green and said, "That's why I was looking for you Mr. Pines, your newest monster just fell apart."

"Right," Stan responded stunned.

No one else said anything, but they stood there confused, spooked, and shocked by their dumb luck. There was the ringing of a bike's bell and Wendy arrived.

"Hey everyone, I got here as fast as I could! Whose ready to do nothin- …What happened here?"

"Dipper looked right at his friend and said, "Stranger things, Wendy. Stranger things."

Madladl watched through the trees at what happened. He frowned at losing a powerful piece so early in the game That shape shifter had gotten greedy and it had led to his downfall. However, the unicorn hair barrier was destroyed now and through the eye he had given the shape shifter, he had the information he needed. There was a great fear that lay underneath all of the Pines' collective fears. The image of Bill Cipher flashed in his mind. It was very appropriate really. Now, he just had to put what he had learned to use and put his dark ritual into motion.

HSZKVHSRUGRMT 101:

MVEVI GFIM RMGL HLNVGSRMT WVZW


	6. Episode 6 - All You Need is Gold

McGucket answer the door to his mansion and found Ford waiting there, looking a little nervous. The two quickly shook hands and exchanged a hug before McGucket let his old friend inside.

"Well, ol' buddy can I do you fer?" the hunched, once-hermit asked with a pleasant smile. "It's been a nice surprise to have you back, but this ain't a visit I was expectin'."

"Fiddleford, I've come here because I need you mechanical expertise," Ford admitted. "Do you remember the aurora we saw in the sky when we tried to summon Bill Cipher?"

"That I do!"

Ford scratched his forehead and said, "I should have been better prepared, but sadly I was too hasty. There was something about those colors. I wanted to know if you could build me a specific light lens in which I may be able to try to recreate that same aurora, but using different particles mixed with light? I am confident that once I recreate the phenomena, I can accurately compare it with other powers I have encountered. I've been consulting my old notes and my research, but so far, I'm drawing a blank! I'm not sure if what I'm looking for even originates from Gravity Falls or somewhere else in the multiverse."

McGucket patted his friend's shoulder sympathetically and said, "There, there now, ol' friend. I think you are lettin' yet worries get ahead of that brilliant brain of yers, and you are jumpin' to conclusions faster than a rabbit hyped up on Jumpin' Beans!"

Ford gave his friend a weak smile and said, "Thanks. I know I need to slow down. But I feel responsible for Dipper and Mabel's wellbeing and safety. I cannot take a break until I know what we are up against."

McGucket heaved a sigh and asked, "You got the plans fer me then?"

Standford revealed his designs with a flourish and gave the papers to McGucket before requesting, "Also, is it possible for you to cook up some inventions that will allow us to take on possibly very large and powerful monsters. I would like to see what you did with the Shack improved, if possible."

His old colleague's face lit up as he answered, "That's a sure jiggity thing! I've been watchin' a ton of anime with and without Soos! I reckon I can get proper gun and laser swords working. Ever heard of the show EMRLD?" Ford shook his head and McGucket cackled, "It's an American anime where everything's a gun!"

"Well, I look forward to seeing your inventions in action, but please, make sure to work on the lens first. I feel like will be the key to solving this mystery," Ford pleaded.

"No one's going to be inventing anything in my mansion anymore," a bossy voice declared loudly.

Ford and McGucket spun about to see who had arrived. A gun flashed into Ford's hand and he leveled it coolly at the newcomer. The moustached man just shrugged off the welcoming as though it were nothing. Preston Northwest was very skilled at looking down on others and acting unconcerned.

"What are you doing here? You lost your fortune to investments in Weirdmageddon," Ford said angrily. "Fiddleford own this place now, fair and square."

"Ah but you see, my bespectacled friend," Preston said to manicured nails. "I have come into possession of a very large sum of money, gold to be specific. I am here to work out a deal with, err, the hillbilly, in order to reacquire my home. I'm sure we can come to a an arrangement, or I will have him thrown out!"

"What in tarnation and hootenanny are you talkin' about," McGucket exclaimed.

"Don't worry Fiddleford, I'll get to the bottom of this," Ford vowed. "Just be sure to get working on that device. Northwest! By the laws of Gravity Falls, one of the few non-ridiculous ones actually, I can appointment myself as the arbiter to this transaction and I demand to see this gold that you are speaking of!"

Preston suddenly looked a little off balance and then quickly grew sullen. "Alright Pines, if that is what you want, then let's going. My car is out front."

"The rusty Astro," Ford guffawed.

"It's the only rental I could get at the moment with enough room for the gold," Preston sputtered.

"Then you'll need better shocks and more air in your tires," Ford replied dryly.

"Very well," Preston snapped. "We can take care of that on our way there!"

With that, they both clambered into the and drove off into town.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I'm bored," Mabel complained to Dipper.

"Same here," Dipper moaned into his hat. "Who knew that taking time off from school could be so blah!?"

"It's because our friends are there and we can't be," Mabel said, pressing her face into the dining table.

"Come on guys, there's plenty to do," Soos said encouragingly as he entered to grab some old burritos from the refrigerator. "In fact, I'm vertain I saw some gnomes working on digging up something near the Shack. Maybe you twos could have a look and see if it needs our help sorting out."

"Wait, what," Dipper exclaimed into his hat, before pulling it back and jumping up.

"What's the rush, Dip," Mabel asked.

"You know! The special something we got from that one time?"

"There were lots of times, Dipper, elaborate here. Level with me," Mabel said exasperated.

Dipper leaned in and whispered, "You know… The time treasure."

"Did someone say treasure," Grunkle Stan asked excitedly, appearing out of thin air. "Tell me more!"

"Well, we were thinking of sharing it with them anyway," Mabel sighed. "Alright, let's check it out."

Stan reached behind a cabinet and pulled out a shovel, "Soos, grab up some more equipment, I can feel it in my bones! There's gold and jewels to be had! Maybe even some hot wenches hiding among the treasure!"

"Trust me, that would be very disturbing if that were the case," Dipper assured his Grunkle.

The four of them did not have to go very far into the woods behind the Shack to find where Dipper and Mabel had hidden their infinity sacks, but it turned out they were not that well hidden. Gnomes wearing black overalls with a red circle splashed across their chests were quickly churning up the earth and revealing the silvery bags. Dipper and Mabel rushed forward, causing one gnome to yelp and drop the bag he was hauling up. Some coins spilled out and one rolled towards Dipper. He scooped it up as he ran.

"Hey, butt faces, those are ours," Mabel shouted angrily.

"Finders, keepers," one of them sang. The same gnome's face let loose a nice musical note as Stan slammed a shovel into it.

"Clear them out," Grunkle Stan roared. "Save the gold!"

The Pines and Soos let loose war cries as they scattered the gnomes to the trees and underbrush. Grunkle Stan planted his shovel into the ground like he was claiming a new land and laughed triumphantly.

"Finder keepers, losers go home and cry! Yes! Now let me have a look at this loot!"

Mabel wagged a finger and said in her bossy voice, "Now, now, Grunkle Stan, are we forgetting something?"

"Yes, we are kids. I should have brought a camera to document this glorious occasion! Money! It's everything I ever wanted!"

"And here I thought paying your brother's bills was the motivation behind things," Soos admitted.

"You didn't see him when Mabel brought back unicorn treasure," Dipper deadpanned.

Grunkle Stan opened up the sack that hadn't fallen open and looked inside. "Hot Belgian waffles! It goes one forever in there!"

"They're infinity bags," Dipper explained. "They exploit a loop in time and-"

"Yes, yes, just skip the science mumbo-jumbo kid," Grunkle Stan said, waving a hand. "Let's get this back to the Mystery Shack! Woah! It's also kind of heavy. Wow… That's kind of deep when you think about."

"What is?" Mabel looked confused.

"You know, infinity and all that nonsense," Grunkle Stan said, heaving the sack over one shoulder. "Soos! Hurry up and get the other one!"

Just then, an old Astro crashed through the trees and pulled up. The driver's door burst open and Preston Northwest jumped out and cried, "Don't touch that! Those are mine!"

"Didn't we just got through this," Stan asked.

"I own this land, so therefore I own what it is both on and under that land!" Preston looked beside himself.

"I bought this property fair and square," Ford retorted angrily, getting out of the passenger's side.

"And I have the stolen deed to prove it," Stan said happily.

"Grunkle Ford, what are you doing with him," Dipper asked quickly.

"This numb skull buffoon wants to buy his mansion back from Fiddleford and kick him out. He said that he had enough gold to do it, but then I appointment myself the arbiter of the transaction and demanded to see the gold in question. So, we came here," Ford explained rationally. "And it looks like it would be theft. By my legal right and office, I hereby pronounce your claim null and void, Northwest. Now clear out!"

Preston suddenly pulled out a gun and screamed, "I can't go back! I can't keep living a life that is beneath me! I can't stand being on your level! Put the sacks down Pines and gopher man-child, or I'll shoot!"

"Hold the phone and let's be reasonable," Mabel cried out. "Think of Pacifica! Would she want this?"

"Don't you dare bring my daughter into this," Preston seethed. "You Pines twins corrupted my perfect child! She deserves better than where she is now. I'm doing this for her!"

"You're doing this for the sake of your wounded pride," Ford responded thunderously. "You are going to get yourself killed doing this!"

"No, just anyone who gets in my way," Preston countered, his voice and hand now really shaky.

Ford began inching forward and Dipper shouted out, "Be careful!"

Preston wobbled as he pulled the trigger accidentally, probably set off by Dipper's warning. Instinctively, Dipper reached for Mabel and pulled her towards him. There was a hole that opened itself in her chest. She had a blank, shocked expression. There was a flash of light and Dipper was running again, the coin in his hand as Mabel shouted, "Hey, butt faces, those are ours!"

"Finder, keepers," the same gnome sank again.

Both Mabel and Dipper pulled up short and looked at one another. As Grunkle Stan began laying about the gnomes, laughing savagely, they asked each other, "Didn't this just happen?"

"Het kids, help me and Soos kick out the squatters," Stan roared.

Dipper and Mabel shakily obliged and soon the gnomes were all scattered. Stan planted his shovel triumphantly once more and said, "I do claim this gold in the name of the Pines!"

"Uh, that's already technically ours," Mabel pointed out.

"Stan's there's something we need to tell," Dipper began, but his Grunkle cut him off.

"Yes, yeah, that can wait. Woah, tis stuff is heavy. Just like gold should be!"

Soos then spoke up. "These little guys are so weird; they tried digging under the bags. Ha! They would have been flattened into little bearded pancakes had they made the hole any bigger. Hmm, bearded pancakes. That sounds like the next food craze, dudes!"

"Definitely copyright right," Mabel said, nodding sagely.

"Wait? A hole? But that wasn't there before!" Dipper came to have a look.

"Of course it was. You kids buried this stuff, and without telling me. And after all the things I did for you," Stan muttered.

"But you don't understand" Dipper said, after seeing the large, random hole where the bags had been. "This wasn't here the last time we did this!"

"Come again," Soos asked.

"Don't encourage him Soos," Grunkle Stan huffed. "He's just getting giddy with how rich we are about to be!"

Just then, the Astro van pulled up and Preston shot out like before, yelling at them to let go of his gold. As Ford got out, Dipper pointed to Mr. Northwest and shouted, "He has a gun, and he'll use it on us!"

Ford reacted immediately and pulled out a blaster and fired just as Preston whipped out his handgun and shot at him. They both hit.

"Ford! Nooooo!" Stan dropped the sack and rushed to his brother's side. There was another flash of light, and Dipper and Mabel were running again towards the gnomes.

"Mabel, this is definitely time travel," Dipper cried out.

"I know! And just when I thought we'd never have to deal with that stuff again."

"We need to stop Preston, but how," Dipper ranted.

"Bro, I'm already on it," Mabel flashed her twin a grin. "Trust me. We're going to get our gold and stop Pacifica's dad from committing a capital crime."

"Hey you layabouts, help us out, or I get everything," Stan hollered.

Once more, they helped to route the gnomes with the strange overalls and recover the treasure. This time, Soos fell into the hole, but with an important difference. It was ten times larger than before!

Stan looked down at his dazed handyman and asked the kids, "Did you two rig a trap when you buried these sacks of loot?"

"No," Dipper answered slowly.

"Dipper, why is the hole now more of a hole than it was before?"

"Can a guy get some help down here," Soos asked weakly. "I'm most definitely not alright!"

"Hang on buddy, we'll save you," Mabel called down.

"Waits Mabel, we can't," Dipper began.

"You're right! More treasure for us! Don't worry Soos, I'll make sure that Abuileta and Melony are set up for at least a year," Stan called down.

"You are the best Mr. Pines," Soos said with a shaky thumbs up.

"Don't worry Soos, we'll get you out of there," Dipper said, throwing a scowl at his Grunkle. "First we have to deal with something very important."

Just then, the Astro appeared for the third time and Mabel leaned in and whispered, "Act just like last time."

"But that got Ford shot," Dipper recoiled.

"Not this time," Mabel gave a devilish grin.

And so, like clockwork, Dipper warned Ford about Preston's gun and they both drew. But they did, Mabel pulled out her ever faithful grappling hook and took out the handgun, knocking it into a far away bush. Preston's clutched his right hand and let out a shout of pain. Stan wrestled the man to the ground.

"No one attacks my family, you hear," he ranted as he punched Mr. Northwest across the face.

"This man is trying to steal his mansion back from Fiddleford," Ford explained. "He said that he had access to gold, and I demanded to see it. Turns out to be a farce."

"Actually, we do have gold," Mabel said brightly. "Lots and lots of it! Or however much infinity is."

"Your grappling hook just keeps saving the day," Dipper said thankfully.

"Best gift ever," Mabel agreed.

"You two have an infinite treasure," Ford asked. "As in the famous treasure of Captain Time Beard? How did you two ever manage that!?"

"Well, it's kinda a long story," Mabel began. "It was full of difficult choices, strange places, and tons of things I've probably forgotten. But what would you say, Dip? It'd probably take up a whole book or something to tell it all."

"I would agree with that," Dipper grinned. "But Grunkle Ford, we have a problem on our hands."

"Yeah, like what are we going to spend all of this cash on," Stan grinned, decking Preston once more.

"No, not that," Dipper scowled once more. "See, I think we might be stuck in a time loop of sorts. We have already lived through these events twice before. Once, Mabel got shot by Pacifica's dad there. The second time, you and he both shot each other. Now this. Also, that hole that Soos is down in-"

"'Sup Mr. Pines, who is not Mr. Pines, but still is," Soos called up.

"-it wasn't there before. But now it's appeared and it just got a lot bigger than before."

Ford knelt over the side and looked in. After a moment, he said, "I think I know what is going here. Time is not meant to be messed around with. You can alter some events to produce a different outcome, and you can even revisit the same moment multiple times and rework it constantly."

Dipper blushed a little and said, "Yeah, Mabel and I know that already."

"More like you know it! He messed around with time to win a toy for Wendy, hoping she'd like him," Mabel teased.

"And I cut it out, didn't I? So you could have Waddles," Dipper pointed out.

"And a nobler thing you have not done, brother mine," Mabel responded earnestly.

"How did you do that," Ford questioned.

"We have this guy from the futurecome with a measuring tape that allowed us to travel through time," Dipper explained. "And I stole it from him."

"He later tried to kill us in a gladiator match," Mabel inserted.

"How did I miss that," Stan wondered aloud.

How indeed," Ford threw his brother an exasperated look. "Okay, now things come together to make some sense. You see, unlike last time, you-"

"Freeze," a gnome shouted as it came out of the bushes, holding Preston's gun aloft. "Nobody move, and hand over the treasure, in the name of our glorious leader Jeff!"

"Not that guy again," Mabel moaned. "Can't he just learn to be a little more chill!?"

"Don't you dare even allude to that traitor," the gnome screamed, now pointing the gun at Mabel.

Dipper stepped in front of her and demanded that the gnome back down. The gnome either by accident or on purpose set off the gun and the bullet hit Dipper with another flash of light.

"I would complain about us being at the beginning, but I like my brother alive," Mabel said, looking sheet white.

"Arg! We're back here," Dipper complained. "This time, we're making sure that the gun is safely in our hands!"

Once more, they went through the motions, though they were certain to pull back Soos and Grunkle Stan from falling into the once-hole now cavern. The bags fell down spilled their great contents all over the place. Grunkle Stan let a solitary tear roll down his cheek.

"It's so beautiful," he croaked. Soos pulled off his hat and patted Stan gingerly on the back.

"We can't rest yet," Dipper said quickly. "If the gnomes were after our treasure, others will be too. If anyone else comes, we need to restrain them."

Stan and Soos agreed that this was sound and when they saw a van approaching, they hid themselves. When the Astro pulled up. Soos tackled Ford to the ground as Stan knocked Preston out with his shovel.

"Soos! Get off me!" Ford quickly threw the handyman off him and demanded, "What is going on here? I came with Mr. Northwest to check out a claim he had of lots of gold. He wants to take the mansion back from-"

"Back from Fiddleford. We know that already," Mabel said, quickly, cutting him off. "Trust me, we've been through this before."

"I have the gun!" Dipper said triumphantly. As he tucked it into his vest he continued, "Grunkle Ford, we are caught in a time loop, where we keep reliving the same moment again and again, though with different consequences, and it's happening with a time traveling measuring tape!"

"Really? That is a bad, yet wonderfully rare, cosmic anomaly," Ford gushed happily. "Yes, without good tech from Time Baby or anyone else with good time traveling sense, reliving the same moment again and again will start to tear holes in the surrounding environment and can even create gaps in time and space, causing entire dimensions and timelines to collide and obliterate each other. I guess this massive hole is just the beginning."

"Kind of like the bottomless pit," Soos pointed out. "I've been keeping up with my supernatural homework," he then confided in the twins.

"Yes, like that, but much more unstable," Ford explained. "I just wonder how this happened."

"Well, we won't find any answers up here," Stan said happily. "So let's get down there and round us up some treasure!"

As they started climbing down, Dipper remembered something. The coin in his hand! He looked at it and saw a graceful, but weird creature smiling back at him. He showed it to Ford, whose eyebrows shot up.

"I saw this image everywhere when I was in Dimension 52," he said softly. "I have always wondered its significance. Dipper, it might be very possible that this is a special coin, allowing you to bend the rules of space time."

"Then how come I know what is going on, if Dipper has the coin," Mabel asked confused.

"Tell me what has all happened so far," Ford invited.

As the they all gathered up the treasure, the twins explained to the adults everything that had previously happened. By the time they were finished, all of the gold and gems had been recovered. Climbing out of the cavern Ford then put forth his hypothesis.

"I think that what is going on here is that the power of the coin, if it is indeed the coin that is doing this, was also transferred to your sister when you rushed to save her. It was your first choice to change the past, and so she became an integral part of your changing time."

Dipper nodded and then he admitted something else, "When Mabel and I worked with Blendin to find this treasure, we encountered so many decisions. Whenever we made a bad one, we could always kind of rewind. But that had nothing to do with Blendin's tape measure any of those times."

"Yeah, I kind of forgot most of it, but it was creepy," Mabel said.

Ford rested his six fingered hands on their shoulders and said, "There are very strange forces out there. If that is what happened, then it was destined that you two were to get this treasure."

"But for what reason," Dipper couldn't help but ask.

"So that we could be rich," Stan said assertively.

"For reasons we may never know," Ford said with a small smile. "But I hope we can find the answer some day."

As they got out of the time-made cave, they found Preston tied up and surrounded by gnomes. He wailed to them, "I trusted them, and they betrayed me! They want the treasure all for themselves!"

It was a small army of dark trousered gnomes with the same red ring across their chests. They all looked murderous and stared down the Pines and Soos with looks that could kill. Glaring at the Pines, they all parted in unison to make way for a gnome who looked a lot like Jeff, but with a black beard.

"Treasure is fine all," the gnome said with a deep, sultry voice. "But what I'm after is the Gnomilungen Ring of Power!"

"Sounds totally nerdy and awesome! What is it," Soos asks happily.

"It is a ring that was stolen from this world long ago by time pirates that when worn by a gnome of the noble blood will grant him ultimate power!" The new gnome bellowed with rage and threw his hands up into the air before laughing maniacally.

"So that explains the power bit of the name, I see," Soos responded with a sagely nod.

"If that's the case, then we can't let him have it," Ford said sternly.

"Not in the least because it's ours now," Stan taunted.

"I, Geoff, the true leader of the gnomes, will not let another thief take what is rightfully ours!"

"Oh, now I get it," Mabel said after blowing a 'duh' raspberry. "We thought it was incompetent Jeff, but really that other gnome was referring to this guy."

"Don't mention that loser's name in my presence," Geoff spat. He then pulled out a gem from his overalls. "It is forbidden that any gnome should attempt to make himself larger than the rest, but for this, I am more than willing to break every rule in the book to have the Gnomilungen Ring!"

Geoff held the gem to the sunlight and he started to grow into a giant. Ford shot a blaster at him, but the laser just bounced off the thick and growing midget. Soon, Geoff was a black bearded monster of epic proportions. As he stooped down to crush the Pines, there was another flash of light.

"Okay, this time, we are going to get it right," Dipper shouted angrily as they returned to the present, or past, whatever.

"After this, I never want to time travel again," Mabel groaned.

Once more, they scattered the gnomes and managed to pull Soos and Stan away. This time, the cavern was bigger than ever, and a ghastly green portal of energy was at the center of the pit. Sure enough, the sacks fell down and exploded their contents all over.

"Quick, let's grab up the gold before those pesky gnomes return," Stan encouraged.

"Wait! We have to wait for Ford," Dipper said stoutly.

"Why? He's off goofing around with Old Man McGucket." Stan asked.

"No, he's coming right now. You'll see, but we need to stop Preston Northwest," Mabel added.

Reluctantly, Stan and Soos got into position, when the Astro van pulled up to the large hole, only Preston was tackled to the ground. Before Stan could knock him out or Ford could protest, Dipper stepped in.

"Hold on! We need to take care of some things immediately. Ford, there's right now a rift in space time opening up in a cavern that has been created by us reliving this moment multiple times without any safety measures!" he held up the strange coin, "Last time all of this happened, you said that this coin was probably the cause of it so that we could have the best possible outcome to our current predicament. It's similar to the adventure Mabel and I went on to discover the Time Pirates infinite treasure, which is all down in that pit right now. Preston wanted to steal this gold to use it to kick McGucket out of the mansion. But, there is an evil gnome called Geoff, not to be confused with stupid Jeff, who was using Preston, apparently, to get the Gnomilungen Ring of Power. We need to find a way of solving this before he comes and tries to kill us again!"

"What he said," Mabel chimed in.

"Wait, a rift in time and space?" Ford said incredulously.

"I was being used," Preston exclaimed.

"Infinite treasure," Stan said gleefully.

"Soos!" said Soos happily.

Ford set a grim face and walked over to the pit and looked in. "That is a bad sign. It means that this area is unraveling fast. We need to seal it up before anything comes through and potentially destroys this dimension!"

"But how will we do that," Mabel asked. "Do you need my grappling hook?"

"No, that will be unnecessary," Ford said quickly. "What we need is an item of immense power to meet with the portal. The two will cancel each other out, I hope. Let me have a look at that coin, Dipper."

Dipper handed it over and Ford inspected it. "The markings on this coin remind me of the strange salamander depictions all over the temple in dimension 52…" After that he was quiet for a moment as if lost in thought and then suddenly came to. "Alright, this should work, if what I told you in another timeline is correct, which knowing me, it probably was."

"Wait, what about all of that loot down there," Stan pointed out.

"The infinity treasure was collected all over time and space. A lot of it is an anomaly here, which means much of it will disappear after it is out of its containment. That's actually why the Time Pirates never spent it or even took it out. The Time IRS is even more brutal than they are here on Earth," Ford explained.

"So, it's useless," Stan asked sadly.

"No Stanley, we can still recover what we can and see what sticks around," Ford answered, rolling his eyes.

"Hold just a second there," a gnome wheezed.

Everyone turned around and saw the gnomes in their black uniforms arrive. They were all sweaty and soiled from running hard. All, except for one. Geoff strode forward confidently.

"It seems like things have gotten pretty hectic here. I see you have made a thorough mess of this place Preston. I should have known not to trust a human to help me discover the ring."

"Well, to be fair, I was going to double cross you," Preston confessed.

"Actually, none of this makes any sense," Dipper ranted. "What could either of you have to gain by working with the other?"

Preston and Geoff shared an awkward glance and then Preston coughed into his hand. "You're a kid, so I wouldn't expect you to understand the complexity of business and nation building, or even that of real revenge."

"Well, since I have my enemies here, and the treasure, it's time that I lay claim to what is rightfully mine. And I am willing to do anything necessary to get the Gnomilungen Ring," Geoff screeched.

He pulled out the crystal that would allow him to change sizes and Mabel shot her grappling hook at him. One gnome jumped in the way and took the blow. Ford fired off a few shots and more gnomes took the hits. Soos threw rocks, and Stan revealed that he has swiped Preston's gun when he had tackled him. He also fired off some shots. More gnomes fell injured and broken to the forest floor as Geoff grew once more into a giant.

"It's no use," he laughed in his now booming voice. "Gnome hide is impenetrable when we are this big! It's over!"

Something red blasted out of the hole and came to hover over the scene. As it did, the treasure that had spilled into the cave showered everywhere. It was a bright red dragon with gleaming, yellow eyes. He looked down at Dipper and Mabel and smiled.

"Mabel! Dipper! It's so good to see you again! Remember me? Connerheart!"

"Oh yeah," Mabel said, her face lighting up. "I helped you with your many, various deep-seeded issues. How are things?"

"Well, the old king finally kicked the bucket, and Wendinella is ruling the kingdom with a radical hand. I kinda figured my services weren't needed anymore and then this portal opened up. I could smell my old friends on the other side and decided to come for a visit."

"How fortuitous," Ford mumbled.

"Wait, you dudes are friends with a dragon? How awesome is that," Soos gushed.

"Yeah, it was something," Dipper grinned. "Seriously Mabel, we should write that all down some time."

"Yeah, it would make a decent selling, choose your own adventure novel at the very least," Mabel beamed.

"So what now?" Stan asked. "We have a raging evil gnome, a friendly dragon, and money we might not even be able to use!"

"Evil gnome? Where?" Connerheart looked excited. "Evil gnomes are so tasty!"

Everyone, including Preston and the wounded gnomes pointed to Geoff. Geoff for once did not look confident, but really scared. He turned to flee ranting, "I'm only 500 years old! I'm too young to die!"

Connerheart set Geoff on fire with nice fireball to the butt and then pounced on the large gnome.

As the dragon began to gorge himself on the hapless, evil gnome, Stan shook his head and remarked, "It's totally disturbing to watch, but I can't look away."

"Fascinating," Ford agreed.

The Astro van kicked to life and they turned to see Preston driving away with a pile of gold in the back of his car.

"That no good thief! Why I oughta," Stan began.

"Grunkle Stan, let's just let him go. There's plenty of gold, even if a lot of it fades away," Mabel said sincerely. "Let's just enjoy what we have and close the portal."

"That's right," Dipper exclaimed, and he went over to the hole. The ground was now shaking.

"If we don't do it soon, more strange and bad things could happen," Ford said, walking up beside Dipper, as the others gathered the treasure.

"What do you think will happen to the coin? Will it be destroyed," Dipper asked.

"I have the feeling that that coin will look out for itself and reappear when it is needed. If it is anything like Dimension 52, I can assure you that it will be for a good cause, and at the right time," Ford smiled.

Dipper flicked the coin into the portal. There was a brilliant flash of white light, and once the Pines and Soos blinked away the spots in their eyes, they found that the portal and hole had both vanished.

"All's well that ends well," Dipper said to himself. Though I really want to know where that coin went! And where does it come from?

Connerheart eventually came over and helped them gather up the treasure. There was a ton of it to carry, and at least they still had one sack that had flown out when the dragon appeared.

"Sorry about trapping you here, big guy," Dipper apologized.

"Nah, it's all good," Conerheart said. "It's a brand new start here, and I'm near friends!"

"There are some caves in the mountains you could hang out at," Ford suggested. "I can even draw you a map."

"Oh, I like this guy," Connerheart smiled.

"And do you give rides," Soos asked. "Because a romantic flight on a dragon's back sounds totally rad!" he leaned into Dipper and Mabel, "I really need this. I only just now realized that there's not much romantic stuff to do in Gravity falls beyond holding hands and being at the mall!"

The dragon laughed and said, "Bring some cream our goat butter to protect your loins and you should be good!"

The Pines and Soos waved Coonerheart goodbye at the Shack, and he took off with a map from Ford. He then had to excuse himself to go again and talk to Fiddleford and see what they could do about Preston and his pile of probably vanishing gold. Knowing the crook, he would find some way of turning it into an asset to use against them.

Grunkle Stan hugged the infinity sack and reclined in the living room saying, "Kids, you done good. I'm ashamed that you kept this a secret from me. Your own Grunkle! But as always, you were impressive back there, figuring out stuff that only nerds like my brother can really understand. So how about we then split this treasure evenly, I take 90%, and you two split the rest!"

A massive wrestling match ensued as Mabel and Dipper jumped on their great uncle and tried to tear the bag away from him. Their laughter could be heard echoing through the forest.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Back in town, Shandra Himenez turned down Toby Determined once again. As he shuffled away cursing his marbles, Connerheart swooped down and carried him off.

"Not again," Toby wailed.

"Reckon we should do something about that," Deputy Durland said to Sheriff Blubs.

"Only after I'm done with my coffee," Blubs said, and he proceeded to take a very slow, long sip from his cup.

TIVZHB'H WRMVI MLD HVIEVH YVZIWVW KZMXZPVH

DRGS YIRTSG IVW QZN!

WLM'G ZHP…


	7. Episode 7 - The Delusionist

Wendy chatted with her friends in class, hoping to cram in a few good jokes their teacher waltzed in and began another day of torture. Wendy lounged in her seat as usual and tried to ignore Mark, who had returned again to his creeping ways. Every minute or so, Robbie would look over at the kid and give him a threatening look; he felt more than a little weirded out by Mark's actions. They all did, just the rest did a much better job of paying him no heed.

Wendy glanced at up the clock and inwardly moaned as she saw that there was just one minute left, and Nate and Lee had devolved in pointless slapstick, when Thompson asked, "Did anyone experience really bad déjà vu yesterday?"

Wendy shook her head and said, "Nope."

"Deja who," Nate asked stupidly.

"Get it right, Nate," Tambree mumbled to her phone. "He's talking about when you relive the same moment twice."

"I knew that," Nate retorted angrily, but then gave his friend a worried look of confusion.

"Thompson, you are the only one here who would bring up something weird and dumb like that," Robbie snorted.

"But it kept happening! It must have happened like or six times guys!"

Thompson sounded very earnest and Wendy saw out of the corner of her eye that Mark was taking an interest. "Look dude, just calm down and remember where you are."

Wendy gently cuffed her friend over the head and said, "No! Gravity Falls, ya big dumb! Strange stuff happens all the time! If you think it happened, it probably did. And you know what? I bet that Dipper and Mabel could explain it to you later."

"You're right Wendy," Thompson said, perking up.

"Speaking of Dr. Funtimes, when you are two going to get official?" Nate snickered at his own joke and Lee high fived him.

"Come on guys, lay off the kid, will ya? If maturity were the only factor in dating someone, you both would be hopeless and he'd be getting all the chicks," Wendy laughed.

"So you do admit that there's something between you," Lee interrogated.

"No. I'm just stating a fact," Wendy said, drawing herself up to look pompous and all-knowing.

Robbie was about to interject when their teacher strode in. The plump man had thick glasses that magnified his eyes, and he wore a very uncool neard. Wendy always wondered just how scratchy and uncomfortable it must be for him to wear it. Especially when he combined it with the hideous Pokka dotted bowtie he had.

"Attention class! I have a wonderful announcement for you all today! This morning, before we begin, we will be favored by none other than Portland's own famous, Henry Porter, magician extraordinaire! Please, give a big hand!"

The teacher bowed out of the way as a man with ridiculously thin glasses and too long black hair slid into the classroom with a flourish of his sable cloak. In one hand he had a top hat and a wand in the other as he gave his own bow to the teens. No one clapped. This did not faze the man as he straightened himself up and reveal a scar on his forehead in the shape of a fork.

When Wendy saw the scar she ducked under her desk to laugh. The man looked so foolish, but it also reminded her of the funny night when Dipper showed her his constellation birthmark. Of the two, she would definitely go with the Little Dipper over a lame fork. Dipper should have been the guy in a flowing cape and doing magic tricks, or more like presenting mysteries. That would have suited him better. It also reminded her of that creepy day when Mabel put on the extravagant puppet show to impress some dude and Dipper got possessed by Bill. Dang, he was weird then, but he cleaned up good! Or, at least Bill did, but it was Dip's body after all.

She emerged from under the desk and felt a little red in the face. Whether it was from the laughter or the sudden embarrassment of thinking of Dipper that way, Wendy couldn't tell, so she tried to distract herself by focusing on the oddball man.

"Yes, thank you for that lovely introduction and reception! I am indeed, Henry Porter! I have come here to Gravity Falls on a most urgent and special mission and I will need your help! Someone in this school knows what I have lost," the magician exclaimed over dramatically.

"Your fashion sense," Tambree remarked.

"Your sense of dignity," Robbie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Your sense of direction," Thompson suggested.

"Your sense of… Your common sense! Boosh! Nailed it," Lee said happily, and Nate pumped his fist.

"You've lost your love," Mark replied quietly from the back of the class.

"You're correct, young man," Henry cried, jabbing a finger at Mark and leaning backwards. "And for the help of the young and lovely assistant who will point me in the direction of my lost love, I will perform feats of magic, the likes you have never before seen, to entertain you!"

Everyone in the class shared uncomfortable looks and Wendy casted her eyes down. It made little sense that a guy from Portland would come to Gravity Falls looking for someone he once loved, or still did, according to him and Mark. How did Mark know about that anyway? Crazy, creepy guy… But there was no one here in Henry's age range, and unless he was set on coming after Lazy Susan and her bad eye and questionable pies, Mr. Porter was going to be out of luck. Unless…

Wendy straightened up as she realized that there was a young woman in Gravity falls. Someone new, who was also from Portland, and in the same age range as the odd man before her. Melony! Was she the love he was after?

Henry Porter proceeded to perform some really lame magic tricks, half of which didn't work, as he pulled a reluctant bunny from his hat, took three tries to get a card right, broke an egg, and revealed his fake thumb with all of the flags. The man acted as though nothing was a miss and didn't bat an eye at the repulsed and confused looks the students gave him. Even Mark became quickly disillusioned with the magician. It was a painful fifteen minutes until Henry did something even stranger.

"I will now find the lovely, young assistant who will help me find my love!" Henry sprang onto one foot and spun quickly in place, his wand held out. He spun like a top until he magically stopped and his wand pointed right at Wendy. Zipping to her side, he asked, "So, where is the love I have been searching for?"

Wendy found herself talking and could not stop the vomit of information. "Melony is working at the Mystery Shack, just outside of town. She's together with Soos right now, and they work together at the Shack. She lives there with him and his grandmother."

Henry Porter narrowed his eyes until they fit into the small space of his lenses and laughed softly, "So that is where she is at. Excellent, I shall be off and retrieve her! She will know that I still have feelings for her! I should never have ditched Melony for that dove."

"What, excuse me," Wendy managed to say. "No, you will leave them alone! They're happy and this place doesn't need someone like you messing things up!"

She quickly got to her feet and looked Henry the magician straight in the eye. The man giggled at her intense expression as he teacher shouted, "Ms. Boderroy, I mean, Corduroy, take your seat and stop talking back to our guest!"

"Never fear! It is alright," Henry said with another flourish of his cape. "I have what I needed and I offered my payment. But now the true show must begin! Talleyho!"

There was a puff of black smoke and the man had disappeared. Wendy stood rooted to the spot and like everyone gazed at where the magician had once been. She knocked to the side by a pale Mark, who dashed madly out of the room.

"So, one freak follows another. Typical," Robbie muttered.

Their teacher was the only one unfazed and said, "Alright, class will now begin. Corduroy, take your seat!"

Wendy quickly sat down and began texting under her desk to Soos. She had to let him know about the weirdo who was coming for unexpected visit.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So Ford told me that he went over to McGucket's again to look over the device he commissioned and make sure it's up to standards, while we hold the fort down here," Dipper explained to the table of Mabel, Soos, Melony, and a bored Stan. "He also wants to make sure that the Northwests aren't up to anything too shady."

"I'm really impressed with McGucket for finding a place in his heart to let them rent out part of the mansion so they can live there," Mabel said happily. "It'll be good for Pacifica to be some place familiar while her family's is not as rich as they once were."

"It's also a good way to get back a lot of that time treasure Preston stole," Dipper said with a mad face. "I still can't believe he managed to scoop up a lot of it and got away!"

"I can't believe it either! Why, when I get my hands on his neck," Stan began, even more angry than Dipper. "No one double crosses and double crosser!"

"The things I hear at this table are things I would never have expected to hear in my entire life," Melony whispered to Soos.

Soos laughed. "Tell me about it! These guys are like quality television gold with the things that come out of their mouths!"

"Can it Soos!"

"Yes Mr. Pines!"

Mabel took a healthy shot of milk and then said, "So where does that leave us today, Captain Dipping Sauce? If Ford and McGucket are the ones having the adventures, than what about us?"

"I think we could use a break after yesterday, don't you?" Dipper gave his twin a shrug. "With everything that has been going on, and with us still not knowing who started the attack on us back art Piedmont, I think it's good to have a break and take some time to collect our thoughts."

"And to count all of that gold," Stan said, rubbing his hands together greedily.

"Grunkle Stan, remember that that is our gold, you big dumb dumb," Mabel said, wagging her finger.

"Yeah, and who took care of you over the summer," Stan asked. "Or let you keep a destructive pig? Who had to rebuild the Shack multiple times? Who saved the world. Huh?"

"Oi, you had to bring that up," Dipper said, pulling the bill of his cap down.

"My point exactly! I think I have earned a good 95% of the remaining booty," Stan said, folding his arms satisfactorily.

Mabel smacked the table with her hand, "25%!"

"Stan narrowed his eyes and said, "75%"

"Half n' half," Mabel replied, starring him down.

"Deal," Stan said, spitting in his hand and offering it to shake.

Mabel hocked a lugie into her own hand and took Stan's. "Deal!"

"I think I just lost my appetite," Melony said, scooting away from the table.

As Melony walked out the out of the dining room, Soos checked his phone which began ringing with the tune of Strait Blanchin'.

"Soos, isn't that song a little old now," Dipper asked.

"I know dude, but it's a classic, given by a visionary of our times," Soos protested.

"Soos, that song was from this summer and literally doesn't even hold a kid's candle to the classics of the 80s," Mabel deadpanned from the sink, washing the ick from her hand.

Grunkle Stan was already bustling away to the gold sack and humming about never having to work again. Soos looked at his phone and blanched.

"Soos, is everything okay? You are straight blanching right there," Mabel said.

"Who is the message from," Dipper asked.

"I-It's from Wendy," Soos said, sounding worried. "Some strange guy is here for Melony!"

"What now," the twins said together.

Melony suddenly screamed from the front door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mark bowed in the dark restroom and spoke to his master. "Madladl, there is one here with the power to track the woman he loves. I felt his might and saw his magic. If such power exists, why haven't you shared it with me!?"

Out of the shadows, a clawed hand came out and slapped him. "Fool! That pretender's magic is nothing but feeble parlor tricks when compared to my might."

"Then why is Wendy not mine," Mark lashed back.

"Pateince, my shaman," Madladl hissed smoothly and more quietly in the darkness. "Relationships require real work to make them work. Time become a very important factor. Plans and feelings must be allowed to mature, just like wine. The spells that I am weaving for the both of us take a lot of time and must be done correctly. When the time is right, you will cut Wendy off from the Pines as I send them to their dooms. Their deaths will sever Wendy's ties to everyone else, leaving her free to be tied to you, and the deaths of my enemies will give me the power to be whole once more."

Mark shook his head and ranted, "It's all fine and good for you say these things, but I really have no guarantee! The twins escaped the Mazyrinth and they defeated Bill Cipher! You used a shapeshifting monster to try and bring them down, but they defeated that as well. How can we be certain your spells will work?"

He could feel the shadow's disappointment and it coalesced to become a smaller version of his god, though it still towered and bent over him. Mark's mouth went dry and he swallowed hard.

"Shaman, I promise you, everything will change before the eastern invaders' Hallow's Eve. Soon, I will have tapped the great portal that was left here by the Tscheapwhetzar during his visit to this town. Just be patient, and do not interfere with the charlatan; he will fail harder than we have when confronted with the Pines."

"The Pines," Mark growled. "I will be rid of them yet! I will bury them so deep-"

He stopped as the lights turned on and Madladl vanished. Mark whirled his head to see Robbie walk into the boys' room. Robbie gave Mark an incredulous look when he saw him kneeling on the floor, in what would have appeared to be the act of praying to an open stall.

"You need some serious help, man," Robbie muttered and awkwardly backed out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Pines and Soos rushed up behind Melony as she gaped at the strange man with the fork mark on his forehead. The twins shot him confused looks and Stan sized the man up and decided he was unimpressed. Soos was shocked and Melony sputtered before she stalked forward. She slapped the magician across the face.

"Henry Porter, I told you we were over! Now get out of here," Melony screamed.

"But Melony, baby," Henry stuttered. "I always wanted to make things work between us."

"If only you had put in as much effort into me as we you did trying to guess the right card or pulling a rabbit out of hat. Never again! Grow up! Plus, I'm building a life here, and I've found someone else!" With that Melony walked over and took Soos' hand.

This pulled the once handyman right out of his shock. He glanced at Melony and then ranted at Henry, "Yeah dude, you need to get out of here! I bet you are cool and all when you're not trying to be Harry Houdini, but this just creepy man. Melony is happy here, and with me, I guess, er… I mean, I know she is! So how about we cut this all out and part now as friends? Sound good dawg?"

"And what makes a chubby man-child like yourself think that you can lecture me? Huh, Soooooos?" Henry sneered.

"You know what, I think I know who this guy reminds me of? Remember Dipper, that wizard school series that was super cool until all the best characters were killed off in the last book," Mabel said, poking her brother's shoulder.

"You're right Mabel! I thought the scar looked familiar somehow, but I thought it was supposed to be the symbol of those ancient items that really made so sense until the very last book, and even then weren't all that useful."

"Except for the cloak of uber-impressive-awesomeness," Mabel cried out! "I totally wanted that thing!"

"Psh!" Dipper waved a hand. "That's what you're supposed to want, but everyone knows that it's all about the diving wand of knowledge and power!"

"But it doesn't let you bust out super cool dance moves," Mabel protested.

Stan spoke up in scratchy voice and interjected, "As entertaining and enlightening as that all sounds, I don't think that has any bearing on the weirdness unfolding on my front lawn."

"Exactly, we don't need you unfolding on this or any other lawn," Soos said, puffing out his chest. "And I know I'm big and still technically live with my grandmother, but I'm no simple man-child! I'm a handyman and sometimes owner of the Mystery Shack!"

Henry snickered as Melony patted Soos' shoulder and said, "Dear, I'm impressed with you standing up for yourself and all, but that might not have been the best comeback."

"But there's more," Soos said insistently. "My pterodactyl-bro Dipper said something profound once, 'You can't force someone to love you. The best you can do is strive to be someone worthy of loving.' That struck me, because he was close to her big crush right then, Wendy, my coworker, anyway! The details of then aren't important, but what he said is, because it's true! Henry, you being here and acting like this is selfish, and only pushes Melony further away. You can't even be friends now, dawg, because of your immaturity!"

"Sheesh, when did Soos wax eloquent," Stan said surprised.

"I can believe you remembered that," Dipper said faintly.

"I can't believe you said something so mature, and in front of Wendy no less," mabel giggled.

Henry looked stunned for a moment, and Melony said sadly, "He's right. Now, please go."

"Can't I just-" Henry began, but Soos cut him off.

"Go! We aren't interested in your antics or tricks!"

"Come on, pick a card," Henry said, fanning out a deck.

"Sure, don't mind if I do," Soos responded pleasantly, taking a card.

"No, Soos, don't!" The Pines all shouted together and charged to their friend, but it was too late.

The card began glowing bright pink and so did Melony. The card melted out of Soos's hand and flowed to envelope Melony. Soon she was stuck in human rearranging puzzle, with henry laughing. He flourished his cape and gave Soos a big, wicked grin.

"Soos! You and I shall have a magical duel for Melony! By the right of wizards, you and I shall compete! Let the games begin!"

Soos stumbled back and stammered, "No, it worked for Gideon, then why not for you?"

"Because I'm crazy for Melony," Henry cackled.

"Alright, it's time to lay in on the chump," Stan said, angrily rolling up his sleeves. "No one interrupts my money counting like this and assaults my employees!"

Grunkle Stan began glowing pink as well and found himself contorted into a mime's box.

"Hahaha! No one shall interfere with our games, Soos!"

Soos bowed his head in defeat and said, "Fine, then I, Soos, Paladin Radmaster, will accept your challenge!"

"Soos, I don't think FCLORP counts for this," Dipper said.

"Wonderful, now if the audience will take their seats," Henry ordered, gesturing to the twins. "Allow me to explain how this duel will go: there will be three magical battles. The best two out of three wins! And so, the first match will begin. Soos! You will pick a card from the deck, and I will guess it. Afterwards, I will pick and you guess. We go until a winner is determined."

"Oh, this is going to be good," Melony said from the box, relieved. "Henry is so bad at this trick, Soos, you literally have a ten times better chance of getting this right before him."

"Thanks, dude," Soos said, giving her the thumbs up.

"Pick your card," Henry invited, fanning a new deck.

Soos picked his card and kept it. Henry then declared, "Your card is the four of clubs!"

"Dudes, he was right! He is magical," Soos yelped.

"Something's fishy here," Dipper muttered under his breath.

Mabel scratched her chin and replied, "Yes. If Melony said he was so bad at card guessing, then how did Henry pull that answer out on first try. I bet he's cheating!"

"He might be, but if we try to intervene like Grunkle Stan, we might end up just like him," Dipper pointed out.

Right then, Grunkle Ford pulled up in the Stanmobile, and the twins were surprised to see Wendy with him.

"Wendy, Ford, you're here," Dipper exclaimed.

"I found Wendy running along the road and asked if she needed a lift," Ford explained.

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no," Wendy fretted. "My warning didn't help! I'm so sorry guys, but that magician got the information out of me where Melony was! I couldn't stop myself."

"He did what now," Ford asked, pulling a strange-looking gun from his coat.

"Yeah, he got here and challenged Soos to magical duel for Melony," Dipper said quickly.

"A wizard's duel," Mabel corrected her brother. "And that poop head isn't allowing us to interfere or help Soos! Also, Dipper and I are sure he's cheating."

Ford pointed the gun at Henry and scratched his cheek. "That's problematic, but also helpful, I think. A wizard's duel is a very real thing, and totally binding. But, if he had elected to cheat, then Soos might just stand a chance. Wizards have very tricky rules about them. Hmm, nope, his aura is pink. Definitely not the one who attacked you two in Piedmont, or whose power was present when we tried awakening Bill. That is, if those powers were the same."

"Well, duh, we knew his aura was pink already," Mabel responded. "Pink card, pink spells. He's a disgrace to the graceful color! A disgrace I say!"

"Wait, his aura," Dipper asked.

"Yes," Ford answered. "Fiddleford worked his usual magic and came through for me. I needed a device that would allow me to track the power that we saw and analyze it more closely. This gun uses aura and colors to track down and gage any magic. You see, al magic is actually quantifiable much like any other scientific use of energy. In fact-"

"Cut it out with the nerdy explanations, and on to supporting Soos," Mabel demanded. "And Wendy, girl, get yourself together! This is not your fault!"

"Thanks, Mabs," Wendy said with a weak smile.

Meanwhile, Soos had just guessed his card wrong, and so the point went to Henry. A large, glowing pink 1 appeared over the magician's head and he laughed gleefully. Soos looked dejected, but Melony and others called out to him to cheer up and kick Henry's butt.

The magician's expression soured when he saw Soos' support and he whipped his hat from his head and declared dramatically, "The next task will be to pull a rabbit from the hat. Don't worry, Soos, he is in there, but let's see if you have the finesse to coax him out!"

Soos took the hat and shoved his arm indie. He went all the way up to armpit, which made Henry wrinkle his nose a little. Soos stuck out his tongue as he went fishing and then said, "Ha! Gotcha! Oh, don't worry, you little, fluffy guy! It's all right. You are helping me for LOVE!"

The handyman then tugged out a rabbit and let it rest in his palm. It smiled and clapped for him. Soos gave his own triumphant bow to everyone. Henry was obviously displeased.

"You can now put the rabbit back in," he said nastily.

"Ah, do I have to," Soos asked. "He's so cute! Who would put a rabbit like him into a stuffy hat like that?"

The rabbit's face showed he shared the same sentiments.

"You have to if I am also going to compete," Henry seethed.

"Then you do it," Soos cried. "I just can't do it to the little guy!"

Henry snatched both the hat and the rabbit back, and threw the hare unceremoniously back in. "I will talk with you about this later."

But when the magician started going for the rabbit, it took him over a minute to pull the reluctant bunny from the top hat. Once it came out, it looked ruffled and angry while Henry was puffing for air. A glowing, pink 1 then popped into existence above Soos. Everyone cheered for him and he gave another bow.

"Alright, this one is for all the cheese," henry snapped.

"And Melony, too," Soos pointed.

Henry gave him a dumbfounded look, but then he straightened up, put his hat back on, and grinned. He gestured to Melony, and the puzzle quickly rearranged her. Everyone gasped and jumped back.

"Now then, the final challenge is this, you have a minute to put Melony back together. If not, I get a crack at it,"

Melony looked dizzy and uncomfortable, Soos ran up to her and cradled her face in his hands. "Melony, I'm so sorry about! My kid like ways got me into this mess when I pulled his card. I should have thought before I acted."

Melony smiled up at him and said, "Soos, that's why I like you so much. You act goofy and childish at times, but you are a good man at heart. You want to get better and you recognize your mistakes, like on our first date."

"Yeesh, that is something I'd rather forget," Soos replied, recoiling slightly.

"Not me, that was a bad night, but the start of so many good times with you! You are the kind of guy I want to be with, because you know how to have real fun, you do your best to treat a girl, and you genuinely care. Even with all of your other faults, that is what shows me that you can become even better."

"Wait? I have faults? Dude, just kidding, I know I'm not perfect." Soos, then sighed, and said, "Well, now it's time to get you out of this."

Soos stood up and then bellowed, "This duel is void!"

Henry cocked his head and laughed, "What?"

"In a true wizard's duel," Soos explained, "The rules are just like a knight's duel. One gives the challenge, but the dude accepting challenge picks the weapons. You chose for me, which I thought I'd slide. I wanted to let you take a handicap, see?"

"No, I don't," Henry sneered. The Pines and Wendy all exchanged looks and shrugged.

"And that's why you needed the handicap," Soos replied. "But then I noticed that you were cheating, because all of the cards in the deck were the four of clubs! But you slid another card into your hand with your sleight of handedness. And then I heard you whisper to that cute rabbit the way you did. I bet you tried to bribe the poor creature to come straight to you when you went into the hat!"

"You can't prove any of that," Henry said, his face going slightly pale.

"I watch lots of anime. I know what's up and I don't have to explain anything more! Ha," Soos said, crossing his arms victoriously.

Ford whispered, "And this is where things get good. In a wizard's duel, if a cheater is discovered by the opponent, the duel is won by the non-cheater and the cheater pays a penalty. Unless they're both cheating."

"Why keep that back from us," Mabel asked angrily, punching his arm.

Ford rubbed his arm and said, "I knew Soos would figure it out. He's smarter than he looks."

"It's both a blessing and a curse," Soos smiled.

Henry's hat toppled off and the rabbit remerged. It then grew to a large, crazed, drooling, black hare with massive fangs. Henry screamed and begged for mercy. The rabbit picked him and then they were both sucked into the hat. The spells on Melony and Stan broke and they were freed. Stan stomped over to the hat angrily and scooped it up.

"I've had it up to here with this Gravity Falls magic, nonsense, mumbo-jumbo!" He the hurled the hat into the bottomless pit.

"No Mr. Pines, Fluffy was in there," Soos cried as he pulled up Melony.

"And that is why you don't name strange animals," Stan glared at the group, and then at Waddles as the pig appeared from inside the house. "Because it becomes impossible to get rid of them afterwards!"

"Thanks for saving me," Melony said, giving Soos a kiss on the cheek. "You were brilliant there. Seriously though, anime helped you figure that out?"

"Well, also looking up stuff for paladins helped me learn more about chivalric ways, jousting, and that kind of stuff, for FCLORP and all. But yeah, mostly anime."

Everyone laughed and then went inside the Shack. Dipper and Wendy brought up the rear.

"Wendy, aren't you missing out on school?"

"Yeah, dude, but I've missed this even more! What adventures are next on our list," Wendy asked excitedly.

Dipper grinned and said, "Using Ford's new machine to find out what is after us and then stop it."

"Sounds like a plan," Wendy winked, and they followed the rest inside.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The hat popped out over a world being consumed by darkness. It was like a black mold and live tar pit steadily consuming the planet. Fires were visible through atmosphere, as though cities were burning. Large, shadowy figures blocked the light of stars and a distant sun. A very disheveled henry poked his head out and squealed, before going back in.

He might have luckily just drifted through space for the rest of his days with a very angry rabbit. That would have been punishment enough, but something worse came for the hapless magician. A monster, stitched together of multiple corpses and metal, glowing with pale green lightning drifted over to the hat.

It snatched up the top hat with a mangled hand and inspected it, peering with three dead eyes inside. The monster chuckled and then opened its mouth. The hat turned even darker and then slide like dust into the beast's mouth. Henry and the rabbit could barely be heard screaming as it happened, and then they were cut off.

Behind the Abomination, the planet too began to turn to dust and was slowly Consumed.

YILKKRGB WILKKRGY YLL!

DSZG ZIV SFMT FK OLEVIH GL WL?


	8. Episode 8 - Better Off Mabel

The Pines, Wendy, and Soos walked through Gravity Falls trying to find any evidence of the aura that appeared when they had tried summoning Bill Cipher. So far, they had had no luck in locating any traces.

"I think we should go back into the woods and search there," Ford said.

"But Great Uncle Ford, if you're looking the weird, mysterious, and out of place, then you have to look no further than the town itself," Mabel cried out happily. "I mean, just look at that two-headed dog from the Mud Flap Factory!"

"That strange canine is compelling evidence, but the woods is where Bill's corpse is and that is where the phenomena occurred," Ford pointed out.

"You should have had your little nerd friend make you extras of this device, then we could split up, rather than look like the goon squad without bikes," Stan grumbled.

"Hahaha, Goon Squad, great movies. A wonderful homage the youths of the 80s" Soos said, dreamy eyed.

"That's not what I was referencing, Soos," Stan replied, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You guys said that you wanted to come into town to check for strange things, well, stranger," Wendy said helpfully. "I'm surprised you haven't remembered it yet Dipper. The dragon mural in the alley and the Bill Cipher emblem."

"That's right," Dipper exclaimed, snapping his fingers.

"A Bill Cipher emblem! I should have been notified immediately!" Ford almost rushed off before sheepishly asking Wendy for directions.

Wendy led everyone to the alley way with the black dragon and his spread out wings, with stars painting into the membrane of each wing. Golden veins flashed in the sunlight and red eyes almost seemed to be following them.

"Exquisite artwork," Ford remarked, impressed.

"I can draw better," Mabel bragged.

"And Wendy said no one knows who painted this," Dipper commented.

"At least we can rule out Robbie," Wendy laughed.

"Ha! Water tower muffin," Soos giggled to himself.

"I don't see the one-eyed freak anywhere, though," Grunkle Stan said, squinting his eyes.

"H's right over here, Stan," Wendy pointed to a far corner where Bill resided.

Different paints from the various attempts to cover him up or deface him were there, but Bill still shown through. Ford closely inspected the engraving of the chaos demon and then brought out his scanner. As he scanned it, red lightning sparked along the gun and his hand. Ford yelped and almost dropped the scanner, but then the lightning disappeared to be followed by a flash of first yellow and then flaming blue. Finally, the indicator on the gun showed the same pattern of colors as they had seen when they tried summoning Bill.

"Now we are getting somewhere," Ford smiled. "Give me a moment or two with this and I'll figure out exactly what we have on our hands here!"

It didn't take long for Mabel to grow bored of Ford muttering under his breath, prodding things, and jotting down notes, while Dipper paced and frantically scribbled down notes. Stan and Soos went to get some food, which left Mabel and Wendy alone. They walked out of the alley way and watched as kids started coming home from school.

"It'll be fun when I am in high school and then I can start playing hooky like you, or like Denis in Denis Muehler's Day Off," Mabel said happily.

"Psh! Come on Mabel you don't have to wait until high school to skip out on school!" Wendy ruffled her friend's hair.

"I know, but doing it as a teenager sounds so much better!"

"Didn't you learn your lesson about growing up over the summer," Wendy asked with a wink.

"Sure did! And after knowing Zyler and Kraz, I am convinced that living my life like an 80s movie is what will make growing up actually fun!"

"Let me know how that works out for you."

The two girls took a seat on a nearby bench and continued to chat. Mabel enjoyed having this girl time with the older teen. Wendy was so cool and had great insight into life. Plus, it was just really easy to talk to her about anything! Not too long later Grenda and Candy came and found them.

"Mabel, we have found something most precious and wondrous," Candy gushed.

"He's not as good looking as Marius, but still hot," Grenda roared.

"Woah, slow your roll girls, who are you talking about it?"

They both turned and pointed at a young man, coming their way, slightly Grenda's height and dressed to kill in a sweet tux. He was gliding along the sidewalk, singing, and birds were coming to him and singing back. His black hair was stylish and pointed at the front. His skin was olive.

"Hubbada, hubbada," Mabel panted.

"Watch out Mabel, remember what you learned over the summer," Wendy cautioned.

"Forget that stuff Wendy! Do you see that eye candy!? Candy, Grenda, be my wingwomen, I'm going in" Mabel said seriously.

"But Mabel, this boy has been a lady slayer!" Candy gasped.

"He's a foreign exchange student from nobody knows where, and he's already dated like half a dozen girls since the start of the school year," Grenda explained.

"So he's an experienced boy," Mabel nodded. "Even better!"

Wendy rolled her eyes and walked back to Dipper and Ford. Dipper had not entirely missed what was going on with his sister; Mabel was making a lot of noise shouting her intentions to date the mysterious, exchange student. Dipper and Wendy exchanged a look.

"Do you think there's some lingering magic, or something like that," Dipper asked. "Crazy love seems to be in the air."

"Can't say dude," Wendy replied. "It almost makes me wonder if there's something wrong with us."

"So, you aren't seeing anyone new," Dipper asked, trying to not sound prying or hopeful.

"Nah. You Dip?"

"If only I were so lucky," Dipper nervously laughed.

"Hey, wanna watch and see what happens," Wendy asked, jabbing her thumb back at Mabel and her friends.

"Hey Great Uncle Ford, will you need us for anything?"

"No. No. Everything is under control here," Ford said distractedly. "Fascinating, it couldn't possibly operate that way. It would need a power source connected directly to it. Unless…"

"Sounds good to me," Wendy replied, taking Dipper's hand and pulling him across the street to where they could watch Mabel from a secluded bush.

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Mabel walked right up to the beautiful stranger, feeling especially happy for her sweater with the big red heart over the chest. She crossed the last few feet o him in a skip and exclaimed, "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."

The boy laughed and said, "But we haven't met until today."

"Or maybe we have," Mabel said mysteriously. "Want to roll the dice of fate and see if we are met to be?"

"But God doesn't play with dice and neither do I."

"Dang it, I know that quote sounds like it's from someone important," Mabel pouted.

"Yes, it came from you, because you obviously took the initiative and came to me," the boy smiled.

"Why I do keep catching veiled D, D, and more D references," Candy whispered to Grenda.

"Never mention that game in my presence! Ever. Again," Grenda said forcefully.

"Then let me take the first step again and ask for your name, beautiful stranger," Mabel said sweetly.

"Sasha," the boy replied warmly. He stepped very close to Mabel, who then trembled and asked, "And your name would be?"

"Mabel," she squeaked, feeling flushed and excited.

Sasha turned on his heel and held out his arm to her. "Then dream girl, shall we go and find a comfortable place to get to know one another better?"

"Y-Yes please," Mabel stammered, shocked that her advances had gone so well. _I'm feeling so giddy right now! Is this that feeling of true love? After a summer full of duds, I finally find the perfect man!? I barely know him, but he's sweeping me off my feet! Do it Mabel, for all the brisket!_

She allowed herself to be swept away and towards the Gravity Falls playground. Grenda and Candy exchanged a shrug and followed after their friend, until Sasha glared back at them. His scowl was so fierce it caused them to stop in their tracks and shake. He then turned back to smile to Mabel, who was in a complete trance.

Dipper and Wendy who were watching from the bushes leaped through the foliage and ran to the girls.

"Are you two okay," Dipper asked, concerned.

"What was that, that just happened to us," Candy suddenly sobbed.

"I've never felt so scared and powerless in all my life," Grenda shouted.

"That guys was a major creep! Seriously, what does Mabel see in him," Wendy asked, shaking her head.

"Guys, I fear that Mabel has run afoul once more of some Gravity Falls weirdness, and I'm pretty certain that that boy is a mancubus," Dipper said, pounding a fist and open palm together.

"Shouldn't we get your uncles then," Wendy asked, pointing back to Ford, still mesmerized with the wall.

"No time! We need to stop him before he sucks the cuteness and vitality from Mabel! Those monsters thrive off young, outgoing girls," Dipper explained, rushing to go after his twin sister.

"That would explain the other girlfriends he has already had, and broken," Grenda stated, coming to keep up with Dipper.

Soon the group was running, and yet Sasha seemed to stay ahead of them, even while just strolling with Mabel. He was going to get the playground before them, and Dipper wondered why he would go there. He hoped that the boy wouldn't attack Mabel in broad daylight. But then again, he was turning the charm up to 11, and had taken in Mabel really quickly. That, and he had totally stunned Grenda and Candy! He worried about what he was going to do to save his sister. If only Ford and Stan had been nearby when this happened!

"How do you know what he is," Wendy asked, jogging by his said. "And what exactly is mancubus?"

"A mancubus is a creature like a succubus, but they only prey on young girls. I read about them in Ford's Journal #2 before we threw it into the Bottomless Pit," Dipper panted. "The way he treated Candy and Grenda reminded me instantly of an illustration of what the mancubus looks like when it gets angry, or wards other away from its prey. Oh, this is bad!"

"Dude, don't sweat it," Wendy said easily. "You've totally taken down worse, and you've got us with you!"

"Thanks Wendy," Dipper grinned back to her.

When they reached the park, they saw that Sasha had already led Mabel over to a picnic table across from where Lil' Gideon was practicing his skateboarding. A couple of the old prison thugs were watching from the shadows of the trees, close enough to respond to Gideon's call. So far, the fat, little boy was playing it cool, not even reacting to Mabel's presence. Though Dipper could spot from even far away that the little chubs was stealing furtive glances at the new couple.

"Quick everyone," Dipper said, stopping them all. "Let's sneak through those bushes over there. If we can get the drop on him, I can wrestle him away from Mabel, and then you take her and run. We'll then get Ford and Stan to help us get rid of him. It'll take a group effort to do it."

"Roger that," Wendy saluted. Candy and Grenda did the same.

As they crept through the bushes, he heard the mancubus speaking sweet nothings to his sister. "Mabel, your brown hair is like rich, milk chocolate, your braces are like gems that brighten the day even more when you smile. Your voice is better than a chorus of angels!"

Mabel giggled and said, "Do go on, Sashy."

Dipper almost wretched from the stupid nickname. Yes, his sister was bamboozled. Mabel would have been able to come up with a much better pet name for the kid than Sashy!

"I would, but your lips beckon mine," he said softly.

No! Dipper thought. It was through a kiss that a mancubus sucked the vitality from his victim!

Just as he was about to burst from the bushes, he heard Gideon shout out, "Alrigh', enough's enough! That's mah sweet Mabel you've got there, and you will get your face away from hers!"

Gideon marched right up to Sasha, who still planted a kiss on Mabel's lips. With just a peck, he could see Mabel's cheeks pale a little and her hair grew frizzy. He was going to eat her up before the afternoon was done!

"No one wants a little pig like you around," Sasha said nastily.

"That's right," Mabel said dreamily. "Go squeal home to mommy, Gideon."

Gideon looked crushed, but he held his ground. "Now see here you lil' monster! I know what you are. I could see it a mile away. I didn' want to dabble in the supernatural so after Bill an' all, but I will for Mabel!"

He snapped his fingers and Ghosteyes and another thug strode into view. Sasha stole another kiss from Mabel stealing even more vitality from her and then shot a deathly glance at the men and Gideon. They all paled and stopped where they were. Dipper's jaw dropped as he realized that Sasha had already stolen enough power from Mabel and the other girls to now strike men weak with a glance. He must have been _feasting_ on his previous girlfriends! Bt with the mancubus now distracted, he leaped from the bushes and tackled the monster.

"Go! Take Mabel and run back to Ford," he screamed.

"No! I think not," Sasha thundered.

He threw Dipper off and stared them all down. He took Mabel by the hand and backed away. All of them froze with induced terror.

"Mabel is a succulent peach, who will keep me full. Indeed, I am already fit to burst, but she's too delectable," he said, licking his lips.

Dipper's twin connection and his inner brother roared into life. That was his sister who was being hauled off and attacked. He needed to do something! But he couldn't move his body, so he focused on the will to speak. He finally forced out the words.

"Mabel! Sasha is draining you of your life, cuteness, and peppiness! He wants to take away everything that makes you who you are! I can't watch that happen to you, Mabel. Please snap out of it!"

Mabel giggled and clung to Sasha. "Oh Dipper, you are so naïve. Sasha completes me. This is true love! I have finally found what I am looking for! Please be happy for me and don't screw this up."

Dipper thought frantically and got his lips working again. "But Mabel, isn't falling in love something only a grown up would do?"

"Dipper, even teenagers can fall in love," Mabel pointed out. "Look at how you have felt for so long about Wendy. She still dominates your thoughts, doesn't she?"

 _That isn't really Mabel speaking, but she's right!_ Dipper wanted to shake his head, but he couldn't so he just blushed as he said, "I don't really know what love is, but I know what it isn't. It can't be forced! And would you let this guy use force to restrain us?"

"It's for your own good, and mine," Mabel said simply, and Sasha grinned evilly and victoriously.

"No, it's not! Remember Mabel! Remember this summer! You wanted a boyfriend so badly, but it never worked out! Norman was a bunch of gnomes! Gideon was insane! No offense dude, but you still kinda are," Dipper said.

"None taken," Gideon managed to mutter through clenched teeth and a frozen face.

"Mermando was married off, Gabe was a creep, and you scared off Marius," Dipper continued.

"Thanks for all those painful reminders," Mabel scowled.

"I'm reminding you, because you learned something very important this summer, Mabel," Dipper cried. "You learned to be happy with who you are! Yes, we want to be loved. We do want to have that part of growing up, but still remain kids. It's the ultimate summer dream. But summer is past, and we decided to embrace the unknown!

"Remember what you learned Mabel! You don't have to be in love to be happy, because you have me! You have us! You have Grunkle Stan, Ford, Soos, Waddles, mom and dad, everyone here who is your friend. Someday we'll know what love is, and hopefully then it is everything we hoped it would be! Another summer! But this isn't it, Mabel; he's using you!"

"That's enough from you," Sasha said sternly, focusing his power on Dipper and causing him to cut off.

However, he was too late. Dipper's words had an impact on Mabel. His sister blinked slowly and then looked at Sasha. It was then that she remembered something, something from the beginning of the summer. Dipper had asked her if she was going to act boy crazy for the whole summer and she had told him that she was positive the man of her dreams would walk through the door that moment. Grunkle Stan had walked through, all disgusting, achy, and belching.

But, as the summer went on, she came to realize that she loved her great uncle. Not in that way! But he was kind, loved his family, was dedicated, was smart, capable, and truly a man of mystery. In a way, Dipper was the same. So was Ford. Even Soos… sometimes. But it was that these men, yes Dipper included, had the qualities of someone who would be the match Mabel needed. Was Sasha really that person?

Looking at Sasha, she began to see clearly. He was cute, no doubt, but she barely knew him! Had he already stolen a couple of kisses? That would have been nice, but it was creepy now because she realized that she wasn't in control then! This guy was clearly using her! And what was it that Grenda and Candy had said about him and other girls?

What was he doing to her friends right now!?

Realization started flooding to her and Dipper manage o say one last thing, "He's like a succubus, Mabel…"

A succubus, huh? Mabel gave Sasha a big grin.

"That's my girl," he said happily.

Mabel took him by the cheeks and kissed him. Sasha was so surprised that his spell broke.

"Mabel, what are you doing!?" Dipper looked up at his sister helplessly.

Then he saw her vitality returning to her. She began radiating! Air swirled around them and Sasha began growing gaunt and grey. He tried pulling back, but Mabel held him firmly in place. Sasha punched her in the gut, trying to escape, but she held on tight. Then a lead pipe whizzed out of nowhere and clobbered Sasha in the head. The mancubus went down without a peep.

Grunkle Stan stood right behind where Sasha had been and hefted the pipe, looking angry. "Sometimes this town's dangerous liter really comes in handy."

"Grunkle Stan, you're here!" Mabel looked delighted, and she kept glowing.

"Woah, turn it down there, honey," Stan said, shading his eyes. "It burns me a little a lot! Yeah, Soos and I came here to find you nerds, and when I saw the kid punch, I kinda lost control."

Stan emphasized his statement by kicking Sasha in the gut.

"Actually, we were creeping in the bushes the whole time," Soos said, munching on a burrito.

"Can it Soos," Stan barked.

"Thank you," Mabel said happily. "Thank you everyone. I'm sorry I acted so boy crazy. I really should have learned my lesson by now."

"Don't sweat it this time," Dipper consoled her. "He was a mancubus. Special powers over cute girls and all that."

"At least he confirmed the obvious, that I'm irresistible!"

Everyone laughed at her statement and Stan led his great niece and nephew, along with their friends away. Gideon however stayed behind, a devilish look on his piggish face. He loomed with his cronies over the now emaciated Sasha. The mancubus blinked slowly up at them.

"Boys, I think I know what we're goin' to do with this no good doer," he squealed with delight. "We're goin' to make him a permanent fixture in this here playground."

Sasha gulped helplessly as Ghosteyes dragged him off.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Wow! Mabel, you are really bright now. What happened?"

As Mabel and the others told Ford what had just happened, Wendy pulled Dipper back out of the alleyway. A chilling wind picked up and caused them both to shiver.

"It looks like we will both need jackets soon. No more shorts for you, Dipper," Wendy pointed out.

"And there goes my whole identity," Dipper joked, throwing up his hands with mock horror.

Wendy smiled at him and then paused. "Dipper, I just wanted to tell you, I'm really proud of how you've grown up. The way you reached your sister was really amazing. First you helped change Gideon, at least a little bit. Then you rescued her with your words. I'm beginning to think there isn't anything you can't do."

"Thanks Wendy," Dipper said appreciatively. Then his happy expression slid away as he said, "And, about what Mabel said back there…"

"Dude, don't sweat it," Wendy laughed. "I get it. I really do. Like I said, you've matured, and I think that is super dope. It reminds me of why we are such good friends."

Dipper gave her a small smile. "Yes. Yes, we are."

He returned to the others to help tell the story. For once, it was Wendy who found herself feeling conflicted. She shoved those thoughts aside and joined him.

XFGV YLBH NZPV UFM GLBH

FMGRO GSV TRIO RH HNRGGVM

GSVM YLBH NZPV GSVN GLBH


	9. Episode 9 - The Portal: Reverse Falls

Madladl and Mark were again in the tunnels underneath Gravity Falls, swimming through the sea of stars that the dark god could conjure when touching the dimensions and realms only he could see. He had grown even more corporeal in the last few days, and Mark could feel the god's strength increase daily.

"My shaman, the spell that we require is ready, and the fools have made it even easier for us to trap them!"

Mark grinned a stupid smile and asked, delightedly, "Really? How is that?"

"Stanford Pines has been searching for the power he saw when he and the others investigated Cipher's stone body," Madladl explained. "What they saw was mine, and mine is connected to a symbol of Bill Cipher which has been branded into this world by the same being who accosted Bill and tore him from this dimension, finally freeing me. A tear was left in the fabric of our reality that connects us to the worlds that you see here as Stars. I have siphoned what power I can from this hole and now I will use that hole as a trap!"

"Excellent!" Mark had a fierce look in his eyes now. "We'll make sure that the Pines get tossed through this hole and they will never make it back! Wendy will be mine then!"

"It's not as simple as that, my shaman, and even more gratifying," Madladl laughed wickedly. "They will be thrown in as sacrifices. Once they have been killed on the other side of the rift, their life force will flow to me via the spell I will enact, and I will have the power to restore myself to my former glory and to bequeath you with Wendy. Then our pact will be complete, and I, Madladl will arise as the renewed god of this valley and then the world!"

Mark had missed that last part, because he was so excited at the idea of getting Wendy for his own. He rubbed his hands together eagerly and mumbled to himself. The long awaited day of the Pines' defeat had arrived!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Stanford walked into the kitchen of the Mystery Shack and looked at his family assembled before him. Today was the day that they would finally put a rest to the mystery that had plagued them ever since they had made the Cipher Wheel. They would learn whose great energy they had seen in the sky. They would hopefully also learn about who or what had attacked Dipper and Mabel's school in Piedmont.

For such an important, and most likely dangerous mission, he was leaving nothing to chance. So, he had his infinity sided die tucked away in his pocket. He was also armed with guns, knives, and special tech that he had gathered during his exile in the multiverse. Stanley, dressed again in his adventuring jacket and beanie, twirledin his hands the trusty bat had used against zombies Dipper had unwittingly summoned to life. He also had a large bag filled with other weapons.

Mabel asked, "Grunkle Stan, what goodies do you have in the bag?"

"I have my twelve guns that were once meant for maniacs that brought ladders into the house, but ever since you cured me of my fear, I realized I had no more use for them. Now seems as good a time as any to have them," he answered.

"You mean we had an arsenal that we could have used on all the monsters we fought during the summer hidden here all the time," Dipper exclaimed.

"Yep," Stan shrugged.

Dipper facepalmed himself as Mabel said, "Well, I have my trusty grappling hook for this adventure, attack glitter, yarn, knitting needles, and Summerween candy that I somehow forgot about!"

"That's good dawg," Soos replied. "I'm just bringing these guns!"

He then flexed as Dipper said seriously, "I'm bringing along my survival kit: a pocket knife, compass, matches, my own journal, and-"

"Nerd," Stan coughed into his fist. "Dipper we're going to go beat the snot out of whatever attacked you and Mabel, not study it."

"I would never discourage researching anything new," Ford said encouragingly to his great nephew. "But in this case, being prepared for action is what will serve us best. Here, take this machete."

Once Ford had handed the weapon over, he gave the group another look down. Sure, they weren't an elite force of troopers, time agents, or monster hunters, but they were veterans of Weirdmageddon. They were his family, and he trusted them all completely.

"Alright everyone, let's roll out!"

"Not yet! Wait up for me," Wendy called as she barged in.

"Wendy!?" The twins said together.

"You know it dudes! I'm not letting you guys have this adventure without me! Plus, you need someone who can watch your back," she said happily.

Ford saw that she was armed with one big ax and two smaller ones belted at her waist. He approved of her choice.

"But what about your classes," Dipper asked.

"This is the only education I need," Wendy replied with confident spunk.

Ford raised an eyebrow at that but he decided not to comment on it, and instead said, "Alright, if we are all ready, let's go and seal up the portal! It is in the mural of the dragon, and the Bill Cipher symbol is a part of it. We will have to coax whatever is keeping it open out to our side, and there I am confident that we trap it, or banish it back completely to wherever it comes from. I'm not sure exactly what we will face, but at least we will face it together."

"Stop being sappy Ford, and let's get this over with," Stan said snappily.

"Right! Everyone pile in Soos' pickup!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mark's face was lit up with the biggest smile he had had since dating Wendy. Today, everything was going to be reset in his favor. It was so wonderful! So exciting! He practically danced into his seat and waited for class to begin. As everyone else wandered in they shot him disapproving looks. He ignored them and waited for Wendy.

However, she did not come. He watched Robbie and the other file in, but she was nowhere to be seen. Mark couldn't explain it, but his stomach bottomed out, because he knew she wasn't coming. What's more, he was certain he knew where she was…

Wendy was going to be with the Pines when Madladl sprang his trap! Would she be safe? He didn't feel that he could trust his god with that, and so he bolted from his desk. He ignored the teacher's calling for him to return. He had to stop Wendy from falling into another dimension!

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dipper and Mabel were anxious and excited for what would come next. Ford drew a circle in chalk near the symbol of Bill Cipher. He added some strange lines to it and a language they couldn't read. He explained that while he widened the rift, they would all place their hands in the circle and recite a special incantation. It would drain them of some energy, but it would slow down whatever tried to come out, and it would give them a chance to either defeat it or catch it. Ford would then use a replica of his previous rift containment technology to reseal the hole, thereby prevent anything else from coming through.

"Dudes, this circle reminds me of the Show, Full Foil Scientist," Soos beamed. "It's one of the best anime of all time! Even rivaling the Super Six of Shounen, and that is saying something."

"Soos, you are such a nerd," Mabel said with a smile and shaking her head. "I am glad you have Melony in your life, or I would worry about you looking for a copy of Giffany."

"Oh boy, you sure believe I am lucky," Soos said happily.

"Ford, how does this circle really work? Is this how you contained Bill's portal," Dipper asked.

"No, that portal was a little easier to contain because of how Fiddleford and I built it. It was meant to be a permanent fixture in our reality, which meant that the machine itself held the rift. In this case, the rift is a true, natural anomaly, which means that we can't just dissemble it," Ford answered.

"Lots of bumbo jumbo, and not enough action," Stan replied, swinging his bat. "When are we going to get this over with?"

"Over with! Over with! Over with," Wendy, Soos, and Mabel chanted.

Ford drew out a ray gun with a little dish at the tip. "This will help me widen the rift. And we are getting started, now!"

Ford took his stance and pointed his gun at the rift, and shot to tear it open further. Soos put up his dukes as Wendy hefted her large ax and Stan fell into position to swing his bat. Mabel gleefully aimed her grappling hook, and Dipper picked up a lead pipe. The Cipher symbol glowed gold. The golden veins on the black dragon shone pure white and its red eyes lit up. From the wall came a powerful roar, and in the distance Dipper thought he heard Connerheart roar as well.

"Be ready to touch the circle," Ford shouted to them.

"Noooo! Wendy, get away from there," somecried out.

Everyone turned to see a teen rushing towards them. A blinding hole in the wall opened up and then hundreds of small, darkk clawed hands picked up the Pines and their friends and tossed them through the portal. Screaming they flew at high speed through the rift and then landed with a thud in the middle of Gravity Falls.

Only, this wasn't the Gravity Falls they knew. The sky was almost black with thick, rolling storm clouds. The town was dank and covered in muted colors of grey, dark blue, and black. The shops and homes were lit with blue candles. Ford immediately sprang to his feet and pulled out a strange calculating device.

"I never wanted to use any tech from _him_ , but in this case, I'll have to swallow my pride and do it… Yes! We are in parallel dimension. Beware, we don't want to run into any likeness of ourselves while we are here. That could have catastrophic effects on us!"

"Pacifica, did you just see that!?"

Everyone turned about to see Gideon Gleeful and Pacifica Northwest, except they were dressed respectfully as Dipper and Mabel would have dressed.

"Gah," Pacifica shouted. "Gideon, it's the Gleefuls, we need to get out of here! Sorry! We did not mean to interrupt your experiment, spell, whatever it is that you were working on!"

"But we're not the Gleefuls," Dipper replied. "We're the Pines family! You're Gideon Gleeful!" He pointed to the short, fat kid.

"No, I'm Gideon Pines," the kid responded, shocked. "Does this mean… This means that people from another dimension have come to ours! Pacifica, don't you see it? They can help us rid the town of the Gleefuls, and bring things back to the way they once were!"

Mabel whispered to her brother, "Dipper, I have a very bad feeling about this. If these two are basically you and me, then who are the Gleefuls?"

"I don't want to find out," he muttered back.

Gideon grabbed their hands and shook them hard. "It is an honor to meet travelers from another world! You know my name now, and this is Pacifica Southeast!'

"Pleasure," she said, uncertain.

"Pleasantries later, we need to find out how we got here, and how we can get back," Ford said quickly.

"Oh that is easy to answer," Soos replied. "You opened the portal like, wooosh! Then these creepy hands with their tickling fingers grabbed us like this!" Sos mimed t out and then continued, "And then they threw us through, like waaaaah!"

"Soos, I can't even with you right now," Stan said. "I think my brother is referring more to geek things and mathematics than the literal way we came here."

Ford was barely listening as he consulted his instruments. "No, we are in a reversed world. Everything will be the opposite of what we know. Let's get back to the alleyway!"

Stan passed Gideon and shook his head. "I still want to punt this kid to the curb. It doesn't matter the dimension, you are still annoying."

Gideon squeaked and shrank back.

"Woah, easy there Mr. Pines," Wendy cautioned. "We don't want to cause any problems with the locals. It will make it hard for us to get back. Hey, you two, Gideon and Pacifica, what can you tell us about this Gravity Falls?"

"Well, this is a place full of magic and mystery," Gideon explained eagerly. "I like to investigate it all, and Pacifica helps me out!"

"Sounds like you," Wendy said, nudging the twins with a wink.

"But this place is ruled under the iron fists of the Gleeful twins," Pacifica said. "They are a tyrannical pair, who look exactly like you two! They killed their great uncle, inherited his fortune and stash of strange things, which gave them everything they needed to take over the town!"

"You two did what to me!?" Stan gave Dipper and Mabel a sharp, grumpy look.

"That wasn't us though," Dipper protested.

"Oh Grunkle Stan, you know we love you too much to do that," Mabel said happily. "Besides, it would be too much work trying to hide your body. Oh wait, we do have the Bottomless Pit!"

"Not helping," Grunkle Stan said.

Ford was already ahead of the group and inspecting the wall of the alleyway. The dragon and Cipher symbol were both gone, but when Ford used his gun, it opened the portal back up. This time, there were the black, clawed hands blocking the way back. Everyone got out their weapons once again and took turns at the claws. But whenever they blasted, hacked, shot, or punched them, they just shattered and grew back.

"We're going to have to regroup and figure out what we can do about these claws," Ford muttered under his breath.

"Gideon, Pacifica, can you take us to the Mystery Shack," Dipper asked.

Gideon and Pacifica shared a glance and then the girl asked, "Why would you want to do that?"

"Why indeed," Dipper voice drawled behind them all.

Everyone spun about to see Dipper and Mabel Gleeful walking down the alley towards them. They were both dressed in the same colors as the town, and in flowing capes. Dipper did not have his hat on and wore what was once Gideon's bolo tie. Mabel was in tights under her cape and wore expensive jewelry in her hair. They were both illuminated by a sad, light blue Bill Cipher, hovering over them and bound in blue chains attached to the wrists of the teens.

"It looks like our play things found some new friends," the other Mabel said in a wickedly delighted way. "This is going to be fun!"

"Look, they brought two of the same great uncle," Dipper replied, raising an eyebrow. "That is something new."

"Well, we always suspected that our good for nothing great uncle might have a had a twin," the evil sister shot back.

The evil Dipper nodded and then smiled wickedly. "We get to torture them all over again. And look at these pathetic versions of ourselves!"

"Okay, I already really, really don't like them," Mabel said.

"Now you know how I felt seeing Dippy Fresh," Dipper replied, crossing his arms.

"He was just over excited and super supportive," Mabel protested.

Soos added his own two cents. "Yeah, no disrespecting Dippy Fresh!"

"Soos, do you even remember how Dippy Fresh was made," Wendy groaned, facepalming herself.

"Fighting among yourselves already? How pathetic," evil Mabel giggled. "Dipper this is going to be so much fun!"

"I don't know… We were already having quite a bit of fun already," evil Dipper said, pinching his sister's butt.

The real Dipper and Mabel almost hurled. Stan snorted and raged, "Enough is enough. These aren't y kids, so I feel totally fine doing this!" He pulled out a shot gun, cocked it, and then aimed at the two evil kids. "Take this you Grunkle murdering hellions!"

The evil twins snapped their fingers and Grunkle Stan's was crumbled into a ball of slag.

"So feisty," evil mabel sad sweetly. "He'll put up a delicious fight. Better than what ours did, I can tell."

"I agree," evil Dipper smiled, his face cast into a sharp shadow by his now glowing tie. "And we can't have them trying to escape. Bill! Destroy that one's ray gun!"

The evil twin pointed at Ford's special gun, and blue Bill sadly raised a hand. He shot a blue beam at the gun and it shattered. Wendy took out a small ax and hurled it at the evil Dipper. He just side stepped it and snapped his fingers again. Blue chains sprouted from the ground and pulled Wendy down.

"Now torturing the Corduroy girl again _will_ be a treat." He licked his lips.

Dipper charged his evil doppelganger and shouted, "No! Over my dead body!"

"That can be arranged," the evil Mabel laughed and more chains appreared to trip and tie him up!

Dipper fell hard to the ground and the evil Mabel approached him. She put her lips to his and shoved her tongue into his mouth. He gagged hard and then bit down. With a yelp, she pulled back and blushed. She then smiled down at him.

"Oh, you are going to be fun!"

The evil Dipper threw his sister an angry look and then kicked Dipper hard in the gut. "Don't get any funny ideas mister. You may look like me! But you'll never be me-"

The evil Dipper was thrown back by a grappling hook to the side of the head. Dipper twisted around to see his sick looking sister, holding her gun.

"Grappling hook," She shouted aggressively. "Nobody does that to my brother! And no version of me should ever kiss him! That was too gross!"

"Yeah, the ship name would be terrible," Soos commented to the side. "Like Pinecest, or something."

"Not helping," Wendy, Stan and Ford all said together.

"What are you doing," Gideon shouted as Stan rushed the evil twins.

"Getting my great nephew and employee's ax back," he snarled. He had on brass knuckles and tried to punch the evil Mabel. She easily danced out of his reach. But he then smiled. "Got you!"

"You can't touch me," evil Mabel laughed harshly. "And you can't defeat our magic! Your weapons are all useless against us! I'll melt my doppelganger's grappling hook right now! Who even needs something so stupid anyway? Especially when you can have unlimited power!"

The girl rose into the air and blue lightning crackled all around her. "You are all doomed!"

"You're not who I was going for toots," Stan replied grimly. He yanked on Bill's chain and tripped the evil Mabel. "I need him! The real Dipper and Mabel had access to crazy journals, magical items, and strange animals, but they never, ever had this kind of power! Your power source is this sorry excuse for a triangle!"

"Stanley, you a genius," Ford cried out. "Well deduced!"

Before Stan could sock the depressed looking Bill in the eye, the demon triangle yelped, "Free me from them, and I can help you get home!"

Stan hesitated for just a brief moment and then evil Dipper used his bolo tie to throw the Grunkle backwards. H then sent a ripple of energy through his own chain to Bill. The demon was zapped and screamed in torment.

"Trying to betray us were you," he snapped. "You will pay dearly for that! As will you!"

He thundered at Mabel and pointed. More chains flew into existence and wrapped themselves around her. She cried out and fell to the ground. Soon, the entire party from the real Gravity Falls were on the ground, tied up, and the Gleefuls gloated over the quarry.

"Mabel, how should we begin with these new toys of ours," evil Dipper laughed. "I can't decide! They all look too juicy and inviting!"

"Maybe you can get their Mabel, and I'll get their Dipper," she said sweetly.

"My mind is made up then," Dipper said, and he pulled the real Dipper towards him.

"Guys, can you think of anything to get us out of here," he screeched.

"Taken down by evil renditions of my own grand niece and nephew, what a despicable twist of fate," Ford said sadly. "wait a moment…"

He turned his gaze to Gideon and Pacifica and then realized. "No! You two would always, in any dimension, be more like my family than those two psychopaths! You can do it! Get us out!"

"How could we help, though? They are so powerful," Gideon said, scared.

"By being yourselves. You are stronger than you know! If you are the real likeness of my Dipper and Mabel, you can do anything! You have saved the world in another dimension. You can save us and yourselves here!"

Gideon looked doubtful, but Pacifica suddenly straightened herself and rushed for Mabel's grapping hook.

"Grappling hook!" She shot right at Bill's chains. The heavy hook pierced the magical bonds and freed the triangle.

"I-I'm free," Bill said in a disbelieving voice.

"No, you're not yet, Cipher! Free us, and we will help you defeat your captors," Ford shouted.

The two, evil Gleeful twins raged when their pet demon was released, and Dipper was dropped hard to the ground. More chains grew to recapture Bill. Though they may not have had direct access to his powers anymore, it was clear they still had their own magic.

Bill said, "We have a deal, sir!"

He snapped his fingers and the chains disappeared in blue flames.

"Noooo!" Evil Dipper and Mabel looked incensed.

Gideon ran past everyone, crying and threw a hard punch at evil Dipper. For the second time, the doppelganger was thrown backwards. His bolo tie came loose and Gideon snatched it up.

"It's time to give you a taste of your own medicine," Gideon said triumphantly.

Pacifica gave Mabel and Wendy their own weapons back. "You guys will need these and get out of here. Bill, help them get through the portal!"

"Only on one condition," the blue Bill sad. "I get to escape as well. As long as I am here, since they know how to bind me, this Gravity falls will forever be at their mercy. I have to escape if they are to be deprived of their great power."

"But what about helping Gideon and Pacifica?" Mabel looked torn.

"They will bind me again if I stay too long," Bill insisted.

"I really don't like this idea," Ford said sourly.

Wendy took her retrieved ax and threw it at evil Dipper, who was about to strangle Gideon. It took him in the arm. He cried out in pain and fell back.

"Ouch… You know, I think I almost felt that," Dipper said to Wendy.

"Sorry dude. I just imagined Bipper, and it became easier to attack him."

"Wendy, you are savage," Dipper said, finding himself smile.

"Enough flirting, you two," Mabel shouted, as she threw attack glitter at her evil counterpart.

"What is this," evil Mabel cried out, rubbing at her eyes. "It's more beautiful than me and it hurts!"

"Gurl!" Mabel said sassily. "That look doesn't work for you at all! Learn to wear sweaters and glitter! Bedazzle yourself! Oh, and stopbeing evil, too!"

"That does it," evil Dipper screamed. "Bill! You will pay for this!"

"Are you going to take up my offer," Bill asked.

"You would allow yourself to be recaptured," Ford asked, stricken.

Bill shrugged and said, "They need me alive. And I need insurance if we are going to escape."

"Fine, it's a deal. And no shaking on it," Ford said angrily.

"Deal," Bill said, and snapped his fingers. "The rift glowed blue and the hands caught fire. "It's now or never guys and girls!"

"Go! Go! Go!" Stan waved everyone through the portal.

"Don't worry! We've got this," Pacifica yelled as she and Gideon pummeled the Gleefuls.

Dipper and Mabel shared a worried look before going to the portal. A dark shadow melted through the hole and reached for them.

"No! I will not allow you to escape," it shouted.

Bill snapped his gingers again, throwing himself and all of the original Fallers through the warped hole. It closed behind them as they fell through it. The shadow opened malevolent eyes, and looked murderous. It reached for both Gideon and Pacifica and threw them off the twins, pinning them down to the ground. The shadow then touched the Gleefuls and healed them.

"It seems as though my plan is already not working again… Damn Pines. How they can be so hard to kill!? You two! How would you like revenge on those sorry snots?"

"And just who are you," Dipper Gleeful asked, massaging his once damaged arm.

"Someone who really wants to see those Pines fall. They cannot be allowed to escape. Also, your powers will dwindle without that servitude Bill," the shadow replied. "I think we can help each other out."

"Hmm, I like the sound of that," Mabel said sweetly. "Let's discuss the particulars over torturing these two fools."

The three wicked ones grinned wickedly at Gideon and Pacifica, who were so shocked, they weren't even able to cry.

UORTSG GSRIGVVM OVZEVH ULI GSV NFOGREVIHV MLD


	10. Episode 10 - The Portal: Monster Falls

Everyone cried out as they fell through the swirling portal and they suddenly came to in the middle of a forest. They all just lay on the ground for a moment, heaving with shock.

"We have to go back," Dipper quickly said. "We just can't leave them to fight those monsters by themselves! Those evil twins, those Gleefuls, were terrible!"

"You should have some faith in that Gideon and Pacifica," Ford responded. "They are like you and Mabel. They should be fine."

"But what about that crazy shadow," Wendy asked.

"I don't know," Ford said after a moment. "Unfortunately, my dimension gun is broken, so getting us back to anywhere is going to be very, very difficult. Luckily, this is again another version of Gravity Falls. I can smell how familiar the place is. Odd... We'll find the Shack and work from there!"

"Guys, does anyone else feel as dry as I do," Mabel asked.

"What do you mean, Mabel," Dipper said, and then discovered that it was hard to turn around to look at his sister. "Woah! What the… I have four legs!?"

"Dipper, you're part deer," Mabel cried out. "You're Deeper!"

"Don't call me that," Dipper said. "And Mabel, you're a… a mermaid!"

"Huzzah!" Mabel flapped her tail about happily. "Once I get into water! It'll be the best day ever! I could visit Mermando! No wait… That might be a smidge too creeper."

"You dudes look pretty ridiculous in your animal forms," Wendy laughed.

"That's no fair, you're a werewolf!" Dipper pointed to her.

She looked at her claws and fur, and then laughed, "This is SICK! I feel like I can take on anything right now!" She punched a tree hard for emphasis.

The others got up and looked themselves over. Grunkle Stan was a grey gargoyle with bat-like wings. Ford was a sphinx. Soos was mud monster. Reverse Falls Bill was a collection of blue flames with an eye that wandered in them.

"I'm free… I'm free! It worked!" Bill was happy and excited. "And now, to find the rest of me!"

With that, he zipped away as quick as a flash.

"No," Ford and Stan both cried out and they flew after Bill.

"Well, that sucks majorly," Soos remarked. "Do you dawgs think we should follow them?"

Dipper looked at Mabel and shook his head. "No, we need to get Mabel into some water. Mermando nearly suffocated when he was dry. I smell some nearby. Let's go! We'll wait for them to return."

"Yeah, I don't need to be part of Dipper's reverse CPR," Mabel said seriously.

They quickly located a river cutting through the woods. Soos kept Mabel's scales moist with his mud body so she fine until he plopped her down in the water. Mabel cried out happily as she splashed around, soaking all three of them.

"Wow! So this is what it feel like to be a part fish person! This is so cool! I feel powerful!" She continued to splash around.

"Easy there, Mabes," Wendy laughed. "But I have to agree. I never thought about it before, becoming a monster. But I feel, well, powerful too!"

She punched another tree, leaving a deep imprint, just to prove her point. Soos easily picked up a log, and chuckled.

"This mud form is pretty cool, too! Though, dude, don't splash me too much, or I am likely to melt."

"Man, you all get some really cool monster form, and I'm… a what? What do you call a half boy, half deer thing?" Dipper shook his head. "My noodle arms even became noodle legs! Look!"

"Well, we can start by calling you tasty, because that is what you look," Wendy said fiercely. She growled and then pounced Dipper.

"Wait Wendy no! I'm not food," Dipper cried out.

Wendy licked his face with her rough tongue and then said, "Chill out dude. You know I would never eat you!"

She helped him get back to her feet, and though everyone was smiling, Dipper just felt sad. He looked at them and sighed.

"I'm sorry guys. I can't forget what we just saw! What we just experienced! It was so messed up! And what about Gideon and Pacifica? Will they be alright?"

Wendy put a comforting claw on his shoulder. "Look man, that was rough what just happened back there. I'll be the first to admit that we barely escaped and that was just by luck. But you've got to stay cool! We have to keep moving forward and not look back. Hopefully they dealt with those evil twins."

Dipper nodded glumly. "You're right, Wendy. Thanks. It's going to be hard to forget though."

"You shouldn't forget it. That's not what I'm saying," Wendy replied, shaking her furry head. "You need to move past it though. That's kinda the key to making it through a nasty break up. And I should know; I've had a few. And what I've found helps, is to chop some wood."

She handed Dipper one of her axes. "Come on, let's find some logs to split."

"See you two later! Don't wander too far," Mabel called to them.

"Hey, hambone, watch me make a mud castle out of myself," Soos said happily to Mabel, as he started molding his body into slimy mud castles.

"Soos, you are an artist," Mabel cheered.

Dipper and Wendy wandered a little ways away to find good gathering of old wood. Wendy propped some of the rotting logs onto an old stump and indicated to Dipper that he should proceed.

"Just give it some good whacks and let the frustration out of you. Yeah, we just went through a traumatizing experience. Yes, another Bill just escaped. But we can get past all of that. You just have to get out of your head first. That's the problem with you really smart guys."

"Thanks Wendy," Dipper said sincerely.

He began hacking away at the wood. Wendy was right, it did feel god to pour his emotions into the routine of cutting the wood. He hacked away his fear of the doppelgangers. He cut away his guilt at leaving Gideon and Pacifica behind. He chopped away his frustration with their whole situation at being lost in another dimension.

"So, why do think we are in these animal forms," Dipper asked Wendy.

"I dunno man. Maybe we are in some kind of Monster Falls where everyone is a monster."

"Sounds like a cheesy B horror movie," Dipper joked.

"Totally! Hey man! We should write down this experience, recycle some old plot, and then we could produce a movie based on all of this! We would make bank! I'm telling you," Wendy said excitedly.

They began talking over the many horror movies they had seen together and how this Monster Falls might compare. As they did, Dipper felt the last of his angsty feelings and guilt melt away. It was good to have a friend like Wendy. He also began to notice more about his monster form. Maybe he wasn't powerful, but he felt stamina. His hearing and smelling were really good now. He noticed things more. He noticed how Wendy kept stretching funny. He smelled something odd coming off her. It was an odor that overpowered many of the other sweet forest scents that hung in the air. It even overpowers his own sweaty smell.

Suddenly Dipper started feeling self-conscious and twitchy. He noticed that Wendy as well was acting the same. He paused in his cutting.

"What's the matter Dip, feeling tired? Or have you cut away all those pesky thoughts?"

Dipper shrugged an answered, "Both, I think."

Wendy smiled at him and then said, "See! I knew it would help out!"

"Wendy," Dipper began awkwardly. "With your animal form, do you feel, strange?"

"Strange how?"

"Well, this is embarrassing to say, but hot and bothered, I guess," Dipper ventured.

Wendy sat up a little straighter and the tried hard not to stretch like she had before, but she eventually did. She growled and said, "Now that you mention it. I do. What is going on?"

Dipper blushed and then said, "Crud! Wendy! We're both teens, and we're now in animal bodies! Wendy… I think we it's like mating season or something!"

Wendy laughed and said, "Okay, that actually makes sense. And that is super annoying. But don't worry man, we can get through this together."

"We can? How?"

"By doing what nature intended of us- Wait? What am I saying!?" Wendy now really did look confused, clamping her claws over her snout. "Oh crap Dipper, you are totally right. Arg! Why did you point that out? I was totally fine ignoring whatever this was, instincts, I guess. But now that I know what they are, it's an itch that won't go away."

"It okay Wendy! We aren't animals though-"

That was the terrible thing with animal instinct, it kicked in at a very bad time. Despite their better judgement, Wendy and Dipper jumped each other. It was an awkward tangle of fur, nuzzling, kissing, and licks. Wendy finally cupped Dipper's face and pulled him into a real kiss.

I didn't think deer would also need to cross their legs, Dipper thought frantically.

Dipper lost his balance and pulled Wendy down with him to the ground. They both laughed sheepishly, but stopped when they realized their compromising situation. Wendy was on top of him. Instincts screamed that they were ready. Dipper went crimson and Wendy drew closer.

Right as they were about to go all the way, a voice called out, "You kids have protection?"

Dipper and Wendy both yelped and flew away from each other. Grunkle Stan was sitting up in one of the trees. He had managed to sneak in on both of them. He looked both amused and upset.

"How much of that did you see," Dipper demanded.

"I flew in on the two of yous sucking face, or licking face, more like it," he replied. "And I saw the rest from there. If I had something to record the two of you, I would have the best blackmail in history!"

The two teens begged him not to do anything of the sort and he laughed. Stan flew down to be beside them. "Well, that evil munchkin got away from us. Ford will be meeting us soon. Where are Soos and Mabel?"

"They're back that way," Dipper pointed, glad that Stan dropped the subject so quickly. Though he knew his Grunkle well enough to know this wasn't the end. "We got Mabel into some water so it would be easier on her to breath."

"Right, and then you two came here to become adults," Stan teased.

"No! Wendy was helping me out with some problems, and well, one thing led to another and…"

Stan took each of them in an arm and said, "No need to explain yourselves to me! But if you're ever going to do something like that again, have protection! Trust me, if I wasn't ready for children, you definitely aren't! Now then, let's go meet with the others!"

As Grunkle Stan walked off, Wendy and Dipper shared deeply embarrassed looks.

"I'm so sorry Wendy," Dipper apologized. "I just got too lost in my own head. I should have thought things out better. I put you into that compromising position."

"Dude, I think that in these bodies with everything that happened maybe not even an hour ago, it would make total sense!"

"But we didn't act this stupid during Weirdmageddon," Dipper said.

Wendy pointed out, "Back then, we weren't stuck in animalistic bodies in the middle of heat, clouding our better judgement. Come on man, we all make mistakes! Stan can't use this as blackmail if we both promise that this never happened! Got it?"

Dipper smiled and sealed his lips, throwing away the key. Wendy did the same, and they both laughed away the last of the tension.

Wendy grabbed Dipper's hand and pulled him along. "Come on! Let's catch up with Stan!"

The deer teen allowed himself to get dragged on for a little ways before pointing out to Wendy what she was doing. She grimaced and let go. They then caught up with Stan and firmly planted themselves on either side of him.

"Yeesh! It's like I'm babysitting," he growled. But they both noticed a small smile on his face.

Once they were altogether again, it didn't take Ford long to return to them. He was not happy at having lost Bill, but he had still made an important discovery.

"Well, that lying, little demon is once again loose! I wonder if he brought us here on purpose! My tracking equipment lets me know that we are indeed in a dimension where we are all monsters! Our bodies have adjusted appropriately to fit the setting. But that brings with it certain advantages. As a sphinx and gargoyle, Stanley and I can access magic now in these forms, which I feel will prove handy later down the road. In fact, we should try something right now!"

Ford talk Stan through his idea, and the two of them started waving their claws around and doing some muttering. Everyone else was confused at what they were doing until they managed to create a large, floating orb of water to transport Mabel in.

"This is totally a dream come true," Mabel squealed with delight. "It's almost like getting Waddles all over again. Well, maybe not that special, but it's pretty high up there!"

"Glad you like it," Ford said appreciatively. "Now, let's go to the Mystery Shack!"

As the group trooped along through the woods, they had to admit that it all looked similar to the own home dimension. They wondered what they would find at the Shack and Dipper and Wendy were thankfully able to put aside the awkwardness and again discuss their plans for a future horror movie. Grunkle Stan was able to supply them with ideas for even darker and cheesier classics that he had known while growing up. Even Ford got in on the action, telling them the real magical and physical mechanics behind some the monster summoning and making them believable.

"And this is why you bring along a journal," Dipper said to Mabel, waving his notebook about, after getting it from his backpack. "I'm writing all of this gold down!"

"Great idea Dipper," Wendy agreed. "I would have forgotten a lot of this come tomorrow, otherwise."

"I would forget most of it by this evening," Soos admitted sadly.

"You are all such nerds," Mabel said, splashing them gently. Wendy jumped in to cover up Dipper's journal with her claws, so it wouldn't get too wet. Mabel grinned. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I like what you two have going on here."

Wendy and Dipper did their best to ignore that comment. Once they all reached the Mystery Shack, it was just the same as what they had known, except this one had a sign attached to it: Gone Hunting for Humans. Stan laughed at that.

"What is this? Are we going to find exhibits in there only about humans and how strange we are?"

Ford used his sphinx magic to unlock the door, and sure enough that is what they found. Displays in the museum showed a human in his underwear with signs saying "Oh the Horror!" There were exhibits of families watching T.V., brushing teeth, going camping, dressing up for Halloween, and so on.

"I am feeling suddenly very self-conscious," Soos said. "Admittedly, these would make great exhibits for the Shack!"

"Soos, everyone coming to the Shack is already human," Mabel said.

"How do you," Soos inquired seriously. "They could be vampires! Or werewolves, just not like Wendy here!"

"Soos, I will take back ownership permanently if you try replicating any of this junk," Stan warned him.

"Understood! Mr. Pines, sir," Soos said, snapping to attention.

"Well, now that I fully weirded out," Ford interjected. "Let's see if the basement is also equipped with my old machinery."

They found the vending machine offering a whole array of nasty looking snacks. Soos performed his little trick on the machine and caused another candy blizzard. The teens poked at the strange candy tentatively.

"So that's where my extra profits all went," Stan said grumpily.

"Sorry," Soos said sheepishly. "It's just such a fun trick!"

Grunkle Stan put in the code and the door opened up.

"This is looking very promising," Ford said with a big smile. "If all s well, then we should be able to send ourselves home!"

Mabel's bubble squeezed in after them, drenching the walls with water as they descended. Once they were down in Ford's old lab, they found the disassembled portal machine. There were tons of notes lying around about not letting humans come through from another dimension. Ford sketched a note telling his other self not to worry, because the humans would change into monsters anyway when they came through.

"Alright, this will take some work, but with Stan's and my magic, and everyone's help, we can get this portal running in no time," Ford exclaimed.

Per his instructions, the gang quickly assembled the portal and had it up and running. They chowed down on the different snacks from Eye-Jelly-Ballz, and Gummi Intestines, to Sugar Skulls to keep them all wed energized. Soos and Wendy were easily able to lift all of the big items and put them into place. Dipper worked the blowtorch, and Mabel entertained everyone with jokes, not the bad kind Stan loved. Everyone agreed that it was for the best to keep the girl in a water bubble away from all kinds of electronics.

Once they were finished, Ford used his device to punch in some multiverse coordinates. He was certain that with this big machine they could get everyone home and not rip reality apart. This time, they would use magic to power up the machine!

"Grunkle Ford, where di you learn to do all this stuff," Dipper asked him.

"When I chased Bill throughout the multiverse, I came across many different kinds of places. Like I told you once before magic and science really aren't that different from one another. It's how they are employed, one uses forces of self and nature, while the other relies on intellect and ingenuity. Personally, I gravitate towards the later," Ford grinned at his great nephew.

"I really want to teach it all to you, Dipper, someday. I have a wealth of information that needs to be recorded and passed along. This way, humanity can advance where needed and we hopefully don't repeat the same foolish mistakes of my youth. Though, I fear I did with Bill back there."

"It's okay Great Uncle Ford," Dipper consoled. "We had to do it. Those Gleeful versions of me and Mabel were too strong and well prepared for us."

"I should have just prepared for the possibility of us getting trapped in the reaches of the multiverse," Ford confessed. "I was too eager to be done with this whole mystery, because it has been vexing me. I have no idea who is after us! Though those clawed hands, the shadow, the aura. They are all connected. We need to figure out how, and quick. Sadly, there's very little that I have learned so far on this misadventure. I feel like I am leaving with only more questions."

"Then we'll figure them out together," Dipper pledged, holding his hand to Ford.

Ford took his hand with his own paw and they shook. "It's a deal, my boy. Now, I think I have everything figured out, Stanley, let get this baby fired up!"

Using a spell Ford had devised, the two Grunkles got their mojo on and the portal flared into life. As it opened, everyone could feel gravity become less, though not as erratic as when Mabel had allowed Stan to use the portal last time. However, something immediately came through! Three someones, in fact. The twin Gleefuls waltzed right through the portal, looking menacing and the shadow accompanied them.

"You were right, beast, that was easier than hunting for them everywhere," Mabel Gleeful sneered. "Now to get back to where we left off last time!"

"Not so fast," Ford retorted. "We aren't as weak or unprepared as we were las time!"

"That's right, we're hyped up on sugar now," Mabel cried out, flinging a wrench at the evil twins.

Dipper Gleeful used his bolo tie to throw the wrench aside. Dipper then realized that if they were here, they had beaten Gideon and Pacifica. He nodded to Soos and then galloped toward his doppelganger. He threw his own punch, and the other Dipper lazily caught it.

"What did you do to Gideon and Pacifica," he roared angrily.

"We dealt with them," the other Dipper grinned evilly. "They will never again cause any problems."

Dipper saw blood on the villain's sleeves. "You monsters," he yelled, throwing another punch.

"You are pathetic," evil Dipper said offhandedly. "What do you even hope to accomplish by showing how worthless you are? Even in monster form, no less!"

"Because you can't touch that bolo tie anymore," Dipper said angrily. "Soos!"

A pillar of mud slammed into Dipper Gleeful and squished him against the far wall, just as Dipper jumped back. Mabel Gleeful was trading spells with Stan and Ford, who were able to keep her at bay. Mabel tried using her grappling hook again on her wicked self, but the shadow monster deflected it.

"Enough with this silly weapon," it called out.

"If it's silly, then it compliments me perfectly," Mabel replied.

Wendy through debris at the shadow, but no avail.

Dipper came up behind the other Mabel and kicked her hard with his hind hooves. As the evil twin went flying, he turned a flashlight on the shadow and shined it. Nothing happened, and the shadow just laughed.

"Dipper Pines, I will succeed where Bill Cipher failed, and kill you!"

"Oh, are you and he pals or something," Dipper asked angrily. He wanted vengeance for the Gideon and Pacifica they had left to die.

"No, that couldn't be further from the truth," the shadow answered. "But your death is essential for my plan to regain power to work! Your entire family's demise."

"And what kind of poop face are you to want to kill us," Mabel asked, swimming her wat forward.

"I'm Madladl," the shadow replied. "The true god of Gravity Falls! And your executioner!"

The beast lunged for Mabel and she swam right out of the bubble yelling, "Now Wendy!"

Dipper was impressed to see Wendy throw a live line of wires into the bubble just as the shadow touched it. There was blinding flash a sizzling sound. Madladl then roared in pain and shrank back. There was another roar as the ceiling overhead was torn away. Above them all was a very, very large dragon. The monster… Looked like Bill! And it was wreathed in blue flames.

"Hahahahahaha! Time for my revenge," the blue fire howled.

Stan scooped up Mabel and shouted, "Quick! Everyone through the portal. We have to get out of here!"

"The coordinates are still good," Ford called to everyone. "Get through it now!"

"Not so fast," Madladl screamed. "You will not escape my trap!"

Tendrils of black smoke touched the portal and corrupted it right as the Pines, Soos, and Wendy hurled themselves through it. They flew through nothingness at first, and then they burst onto a scene of Stars and nebulas. Everyone had turned back to their normal selves, but now they knew that once again, they were very, very far from home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Madladl loathed the fact that any variation of Bill Cipher, no matter how limited or broken, could still be allowed to live. In any dimension! On any world! However, there was a problem here, and that was the Pines. By dumb luck, not even by besting him, but by luck, they were escaping his trap! He needed their deaths so that their life force could power his return.

True, this might mean Wendy's death, but with what he had to gain, he could still manipulate his shaman into a union that would grant him the final step in rise again to full power. Ugh, but that was still a long way away, and with the Pines' most recent escape, it kept looking longer and longer! But here was a new twist of fate! The powers of the multiverse had brought to him a variation of Bill Cipher and of Dipper and Mabel! He could easily make this a profitable moment for him.

Using his arms, he held back the Cipher Dragon from the Gleeful twins, and shouted, "No! You will not fight each other now! Bill Cipher, I know that you want revenge of these two for imprisoning you, and I know you to want to punish him and bring him back! I care neither way who wins in that contest, but one thing is clear: none of you would be in this position if it weren't for those Pines!

"So, I have a proposition for you. I'll let you three have everything that you desire in order to fight and subdue one another, IF you help me track those fools down and kill them!"

He reached out and activated the portal with his own power, before continuing, "They are stuck in the multiverse now, with access to many potential allies and new powers. But we can do the same. We will build up an army! And together, we will get the Pines!"

"Hold on a moment," Mabel said ever so sweetly. "Why should we work with you. What do you have to gain from all of this?"

"The same thing as you," Madladl breathed. "Revenge. Power. Satisfaction. Freedom."

"And do we really need your help to do this," the Cipher Dragon asked.

Madladl open the portal all the way to show them the great cosmos of not just the multiverse, but of the Realms. He grinned at their astonishment. They would never have guessed there was so much out there! Nor just how small they were by comparison, without someone like him to help them out.

"This is the power the Pines have access to. I can get us that same advantage. You just have to join me in an alliance. We defeat them, we all reap the spoils. I go my own way, with my business concluded, and you three can then figure things out from there. Also, otherwise, how will you ever get home unless I allow it, hm? And you Cipher Dragon, I could slay you now. Better to stay alive and take my better offer."

"Deal," the Gleefuls and the dragon said together.

"Excellent," Madladl breathed.

He knew that they would turn on him given the very first opportunity. That was fine. He just needed their agreement. Because whether they won or lost now, with his power coursing through them with their pact, he would get the sacrifices he required. One way or another…

"Now, let's go make an army," Madladl said, walking through the portal.

YVULIE GFIMRMT GVVMH RMGL NLMHGVIH, NZPV HRIV GL MFVGVI GSVN


	11. Episode 11 - The Portal: Multiverse Army

The Pines floated through the cosmos, feeling lost and confused. Surrounded by colorful nebulas, bright Stars like pinpricks in the distance, and brilliant stardust flew past them like mist. They all moved themselves as best they could towards one another.

"Well, emergency sweater swap time," Mabel informed everyone, putting on her signature shooting star sweater.

"Do you have an arsenal of sweaters on hand," Stan asked.

"Yes. Yes I do," Mabel answered.

Dipper was utterly astonished and wondered aloud, "Where exactly are we? Are we stuck between worlds?"

Ford pulled out his calculator and checked it. "We are stuck in a place that is a kind of perpendicularity. It's a place where multiple worlds all meet. But what they all are, I'm not sure."

"Speak in plain English, sheesh," Stan said grumpily.

"That's the best that I can do," Ford admitted. "This is a part of the multiverse that I don't know anything about. And we are being chased by a creature calling himself Madladl, a name I've never heard before. I am feeling very lost, guys. I feeling I am not accustomed to, and one I really don't like!"

"Then let's just enjoy what we have here," Soos suggested pleasantly.

Wendy gave her friend an incredulous look and asked, "What are you talking about?"

"Well, we're stuck out in space, but we aren't dying in some cold, weird vacuum thing," Soos said, gesturing to their surroundings. "We aren't dying, and there isn't much what we can do right now. This place is beautiful, in a sad and lonely kind of way. Let's just enjoy it."

"What a URP! Terribly naïve sentiment," a voice belched behind them.

"Him," Ford thundered and then twisted around. "You! How did you find me?"

"And you really call yourself a genius?" The man who answered was in dirty labcoat poking most of his body out of a green, swimming portal. "I put a tracking device in all my-"

"Stop! I get it," Ford said angrily.

"Grunkle Ford, who is this," Mabel asked. "He smells like tanning vat."

"And that takes a lot of work to pull off," the man replied. "Why did you cut me off Fordsy? And after we haven't seen each other in so long?"

"The kids don't need to hear your kind of vulgar language," Ford spat.

"Puts hair on their chests," the man quipped.

"Kids, everyone, this is Rick Sanchez, a developer and traveler I met _briefly_ during my exile," Ford explained. "In Dimension S-19, wasn't it?

"Can't remember, don't care." The man laughed and said, "And now I want to hear you say it."

Ford paled and said, "Never!"

"Come on and tell us already," Wendy cut in. "And then maybe we can get out of here. Like dude, Rick, can we use your portal to get back to gravity Falls."

"Oh sure. URP! You could, but I don't want that shadow guy and whatever else is attached to him following me. It would be a real pain, and you know Ford, how much I like pains…"

"Then why do you insist on being one," Ford asked angrily.

"Because it is amusing," Rick answered.

"Oh boy! I am really warming up to this guy," Stan said jovially.

"And me to you, sweetheart," Rick said. "But look. You really don't have much time, and I have the knowledge that you need to be able to get out of this mess, so cough it up."

Ford squeezed his eyes shut and explained to everyone else, "I met Rick as I wandered through the multiverse. He has tech that allows him to go to any dimension at will with the right coordinates. He is very gifted that way, and I borrowed some of his tech to make my tracer. A kind of compass and map. But I stopped using it when he started poking around saying that I owed him."

"Which you do. You would never have managed it on your own," Rick grinned. "Now, let's hear that sweet confession about my genius."

"That's what all this is about," Dipper said in disbelief.

"Your pride is not worth our lives," Stan said angrily.

"Alright! Alright," Ford apologized. "I got the message. Hold on and I'll say it."

"Hey everyone! Look at what I can do!"

Everyone turned to Mabel who was now surrounded with cute, little animals all decked out in medieval gear and ready for war. They included lots of mice, hedgehogs, a rabbit, a badger, an owl, and a cat Mabel was scratching under the chin. Rick suddenly looked sour and muttered something under his breath.

"Where did you get them," Ford asked hurriedly.

"while you guys were going on and on about something irrelevant in the past, I just entertained myself figuring out how far away the stars were, and then I realized I could touch them! This one I touched, told me its name and then I could get these cute animals from it."

"What was its name," Soos asked expectantly.

" _Redwall_ , I think," Mabel looked at the critters. One of them stepped forward and said, "Aye, we come from Redwall Abbey!"

"Awesome, dude," Soos cheered and he reached out to touch a star. "Sweet! Laser swords here we come! Voltron!"

A massive mechanical knight made up of five lions jumped out of the stardust and towered over them.

"Well, you got a lucky break, you bastard," Rick sighed, pointing at Ford. "But I will get you to admit my genius before the world. Before the multiverse one of these days! You mark my words."

With that, he closed up his portal and left them alone.

"Wow… What a rude guy," Wendy said aloud. "And he still left us stranded here!"

"I still like him," Stan asserted.

"Of course you do," Ford said absentmindedly. "But Wendy, we won't need his portal gun now. I have a better idea. He was scarred of the shadow, Madladl, following him. Well, if we keep running, it'll just chase us. So here, I think we can make a stand! Everyone, touch those Stars and see if we can get ourselves a small army going!"

Everyone enthusiastically started touching Stars, and soon they had summoned to their aid a true myriad of characters. Not only were they joined by the defenders of _Redwall_ and the Paladins of _Voltron: Legendary Defenders_ , but soon they were greeted by the bears of both _Gummi Bears_ and _Care Bears_. Then danced in the heroes of _Adventure Time_ , led by Jake the Dog and Finn the Human. Marching to their aid came the singing Smurfs. Dipper was delighted and embarrassed to come across the _My Little Pony_ D&D party. The Teen Titans and Jackie Chan joined the party, too. Stan scratched his head when he discovered the world of _OK K.O._ , and a plaza full of heroes charged into their space.

Then came Spiderman, Batman, and Superman, followed by Aang and his gang of friends, with Steven Universe and the Crystal Gem bringing up the rear. Street Sharks chewed their way in and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tumbled into position. "We're getting cooking now," Wendy called out.

"No, we're cooking with gas," Shady Figure said, slinking on by.

"This all feels… Very cartoonish," Grunkle Stan slowly and watched the Mystery Machine drive up in whoosh of stardust.

"There's something about all of this that is very light hearted," Ford agreed. "But these are exactly the kind of people we need to confront Madladl and those demented twins!"

"Madladl, that sounds like a cooky old wizard," Jake laughed, stretching on past.

"Oh, we've got a ton of experience in dealing with crazy, old wizards," Finn said happily as he rode Jake.

"I can indeed confirm that," Pidge said checking her computers. "There wizard battling skills are over 9,000!"

"Where's the friendship problems we're are supposed to solve," Tender heart asked worriedly.

"Scooby Dooby Doo!"

"Okay, we need some order," Dipper called out. But there was such great commotion that almost no one heard him. Mabel floated over handed him a megaphone. "Where did you get that?"

"Mabel shrugged and then said, "Do you remember when we fought Bill in Grunkle Stan's mindscape? How we could do anything we imagined? Well, this place kinda feels the same, really weird, totally unreal, but it feels real! So I tried it out, and I thought of a megaphone for you to use, and it appeared!"

"Wow," Dipper said with awe. "Mabel you are genius! And totally saving our butts today!"

"Yes, go on and praise me," she teased. "But seriously, we should then just make ourselves a portal and get the poop heck out of dodge!"

"No. Ford is right. We need to make a stand against that shadow, those twins, and possibly even a dragon Bill… That's a terrifying thought," Dipper said, before shaking his head. "Look at these people that we've summoned to help us. If we can get organized, then we should be able to win!"

Hefting the megaphone to his lips, Dipper bellowed, "Okay everyone! I know you are all confused as to where you are and why you are here! I have the answers for you!"

Everyone turned their attention to Dipper, making him suddenly very self-conscious.

"There had better be a very good answers to all of this," Mr. Gar growled, cracking his knuckled.

"Sir, can you please put away those rippling pectorals, you're making my handy man very uneasy," Stan asked the bulging hero.

Soos was hugging himself and covering his man boobs saying, "I refused to be body shamed! I know I'm big!"

"Pull yourself together, man," Wendy encouraged.

Dipper gulped, but when Mabel gave him the thumbs up, he knew he could do it. "Everyone, my name is Dipper Pines! My family and our friends have been chased here by a monster called Madladl, a big shadow monster that can travel between dimensions and worlds. We don't know why it is hunting us, but it has been hurting people in many different dimensions. When we found ourselves here, we discovered that we could summon you. We did so in hopes that you could help us defeat this beast.

"Yes, this might just seem like our problem. But it could easily be your, too. If we work together, then maybe we can stop something very bad from not only happening to my family and my dimension, but hopefully to yours as well."

A tall and handsome man, identifying himself as Shiro, stepped forward. "I pilot the Black Lion of Voltron. I lead the group whose duty it is to defend not only our own universe, but any reality in danger. We have done so before, and we will help you now."

"Hubbity, hubbity, you are pleasant on the eyes," Mabel said, saddling up to him.

"No fair! Shiro is totally a chick magnet," Lance complained.

"You do realize she is younger than you, right," Pidge pointed out.

"Jake and I have totally ganked bad guys across multiple dimensions," Finn put in.

"Well, mostly the Lich," Jake pointed out. "But yeah, we're basically pros by now."

Finn nodded and said, "Besides, this looks like a cool adventure, so we'll totally help you out. Plus, you seem pretty chill, Dipper, and… uh, miss?"

"Mabel," Mabel answered sweetly. "Or you can call me the girl of your dreams!"

Huntress Wizard stepped forward and said in her monotone voice, "That position is already filled in his life."

Mabel pulled a total 180 and said, "Your hair is so beautiful! How do you get it that way?"

"Spray it with freshly melted snow water," HW replied.

"Focus Mabel," Dipper reminded her.

"We are there to help others," the Care Bears pledged. "And we'll help you!"

More and more people began pledging their help to them.

"If it's an adventure and a chance to beat up on the bad guy, you can totally count us in," Rainbow Dash cheered, bucking hard. "Isn't that right guys!?"

"Yup," Big Mac responded positively.

"Madladl, you say," Discord wondered. "I haven't heard the name before, but I feel like I should have…"

Dipper was so relieved to see that these strangers were all coming to their aid. He had tales of the multiverse from Ford and had read a few of his memoirs, which he had jotted down in Journal #3, but those had all misled him. He had always considered the multiverse to be a dangerous and unforgiving place. But here they were surrounded by all kinds of people willing to be heroes and some of them even were! Once the rambunctious group surrounding Mr. Gar had offered their support, Superman flew over to Dipper.

"Dipper, I am impressed with how you are handling this," Superman said. "I have battled across many dimensions before, fighting unspeakable horrors, and they have left many people slack jawed and too frighten to move at times. But you carry yourself well, and show great bravery in even addressing a group of complete strangers. My help goes without question, but I wanted to let you know how impressed I am. How impressed we all are."

"Speak for yourself," Batman said sullenly.

"well, we are veterans of the world coming to an end, already," Mabel said, giving goo-goo eyes to the Kryptonian. She then whispered not so covertly to her twin, "Dipper, there are so many fine hunks here! Even those shark and turtle boys love yummy!"

Her words made Dipper uncomfortably aware again of how not too long ago he and Wendy had almost gone too far. He knew he could never tell Mabel about that. Ever!

He ignored her comments and said, "Thank you, Superman."

Ford and Stan floated over to them and clapped the twins on the back.

"You kids are amazing. I'm not which part of the family you get it from, because it certainly ain't from me," Stan laughed.

"Now we just need to get organized," Ford said determinedly.

"Oh! I have some important info on that," Mabel said excited. Taking the megaphone back she called out, "Everyone! In this place, wherever we are, whatever you imagine becomes real! By working together, we can totally kick Madl-doodle's butt!"

"What's this now," Ford asked quickly. "Please! Show me!"

Mabel made a purring cat out of the stardust and draped it over her shoulders.

"Fascinating," Ford responded, getting a glint in his eye. "This is perfect Mabel! Everyone gather around, I think I have a battle strategy for us!"

And so it was, that when Madladl and his forces found the Pines, they were ready for him. However, they were not entirely prepared for the entourage he had brought with him. The defenders waited in a proud semi-circle atop a floating island of Grunkle Stan's smiling face and head, with the logo: I Eat Kidz.

Appearing in a pillar of blue flames was a young, slender man in a yellow suit with a tall, black hat. One eye was covered with an eyepatch, and the other gleamed with deadly fun. Spinning cane on his wrist, the man introduced himself.

"I am William Cipher, from the Tumblrverse, and I am here to take away your oh-so precious Dipper!"

"Man, you are a real creep magnet," Mabel whispered to your brother.

"We have no intention of handing him over, you beautiful, over sexualized version of a monster," Ford shouted back to William.

"And I harbored no such thoughts that you intend that," William laughed. "No, we are here to take what we want. All of us!"

With that, his blue flames roared once more and Dipper and Mabel Gleeful walked out, holding hands. They were followed by the Cipher Dragon, and then a whole host of monsters.

A creepy voice floated over the scene, "Before there was nothing, there were monsters…"

"The Lich," Finn and Jake cried out together.

"Hold the line," Shiro called through Voltron. "They want to frighten us and make us break formation."

"Oh, we will break more than that," William laughed as more monsters poured out of the flames. "Attack!"

"Attack," Dipper and Mabel shouted together.

Thus began the Battle of Stardust.

10-21-19-20 7-15-14-14-1 19-1-25, 9 3-1-12-12-5-4 6-9-14-14 1-14-4 8-21-14-20-18-5-19-19 23-9-26-1-18-4 12-15-14-7 1-7-15!


	12. Episode 12 - The Portal: Stardust Battle

Ford had had the opportunity to play dimensional chess with Bill Cipher on a number of occasions. The little dream demon had been a very worthy opponent, stretching Fiord to his limits, and often beating him too. But Bill was predictable in his strategies, even if they were often very sound. In dimensional chess, players could move their power pieces ahead of their pawns if they so wished, thereby enabling them to capture strong positions on the board sooner. However, this came at the risk of exposing valuable pieces early and risking their capture. Bill always followed up an unexpected, strong move with a quick fortifying of weaker pieces.

Ford had fallen for the challenge before. The weaker pieces were easy to grab and they threatened the strong hold on the board, but Bill always placed his pawns where they could be quickly avenged by his back row. This meant that he aggressively advanced his own line of battle and quickly endangered his opponent's entire force, while decimating the power pieces. And if you saw the trap and didn't take the bait, you sacrificed vital positions on the board, allowing Bill to chip away at your defenses and block offensive attacks. Whether he began or started second, Bill always pursued this strategy.

Indeed, it was the same strategy he used when attacking Gravity Falls. He reached out through Gideon Gleeful, a remarkable power piece, to begin his attack. From there, he moved his witless pawns into position and let them be defeated. He allowed Dipper and Mabel to make progress until they were too deep into his plot and then he struck. He had done the same to Ford, too. There was no reason to suspect that he wouldn't do otherwise now.

Sure enough, Ford saw the same old strategy unfold before him as Bill Cipher's armies and allies swept out of his flame portal to begin surround the Stan Island that he and his own people defended. A powerful first move, to either elicit a strong response, or to sacrifice offense for a beleaguered defense. However, Ford had a couple of advantages that he did not have during his first game of chess with Bill.

Firstly, Bill's strategy ensured bloodshed for both sides. Bill did not care for his pieces, only for his own victory. That meant that they key to stopping him was not to worry about position, but to force attrition. In chess, attrition was the nature of the definite bloodbaths that determined the victors of many of the greatest matches. And attrition could be easily slated in one's favor if plotted well. Ford had plotted out this battle's attrition well.

Secondly, Bill was an egomaniac who did work well with others. And in this case, he would have to work with the Gleeful twins and Madladl. Also, there appeared to be different variations of Bill Cipher himself joining the battle. All these strong personalities would not work together forever. If Ford and his people could outlast their enemies' cohesion, they would break them apart and then they could shatter their formations and crush them piece by piece. This was the strategy they had all decided on, and now was the time to implement it!

"Superman," Ford called out. "You are up! Show that one eyed fiend why he should fear us!"

Mabel cheered as Superman zipped towards Bill. Many others were cheering as well, after their preparations for battle they had gotten glimpses of what the Kryptonian was capable of. Dipper and Grunkles, however, were much more grim about was coming next.

"So they send a man child in fancy underwear to best me," Bill laughed. "Sorry, I'm not one to change diapers, but I will certainly wipe you out!"

"That was a terrible joke," Superman replied.

"All jokes are terrible," Bill Cipher screeched, hooking Superman's heel with his cane and then swinging him around. "It is the physical comedy that is actually fun!"

The human Bill set Clark Kent on fire, and Superman yelled with pain as the blue flames burned him. With a weakness to magic, sending the Man of Steel against a chaotic magic user was the not the best of ideas. Or was it?

"Boo," Batman said, appearing out of nowhere, and then socking Bill right in the eye.

Bill Cipher fell backwards in the air and cried out. Loosing grip of his cane, the burning Kryptonian was flung away into the ranks of the assembling army. The monsters gleefully rampaged and piled on Superman. Batman hung in the air, his cape fluttering as he looked down at Bill.

"How did you do that," Bill demanded.

"I used some quickly whipped up cloaking technology to hide my presence as I got closer to you," Batman explained. "We knew that Superman would be vulnerable to your magic, so we used him as a decoy to get me in close."

"And what can a man who hasn't grown past his own childhood fears, wearing an outdated costume, do to an all-powerful being like me!?"

Batman grinned. "Sock you in the eye, and distract you from the toxins now flowing into your bloodstream, from where I pricked you as you fell." Bill went rigid and his eyes widened. Batman continued, "You may have super powers, and your magic will eventually repel the poisons, but with a human body Bill Cipher, you are just as breakable as any man."

The Gleefuls floated up right behind Batman and laughed.

"Looks like I'm going to have a whole new boy toy," evil Mabel said happily. "If he knows how to treat his enemies this way, you know he can treat a lady right!"

"Whatever," Dipper spat. "I bet-"

He was shot from behind by Grunkle Stan's rifle. As he fell Stan shouted, out, "Boo yeah! That's what you get for messing with your Grunkle Stan in your own dimension, you Dipper parading piece of garbage! Now, everyone! Attack!"

Mabel Gleeful realized she was caught in between hammer and anvil, and ducked to retrieve her wounded brother, leaving human Bill Cipher to be trussed up Batman in glowing manacles. Right then, Voltron released a blast from its shoulder canon and wiped out an entire column of large monsters. There was an explosion, and bodies flew away in ruin as Superman rose heroically from the army that had engulfed him.

Ford smiled to himself, as he saw his strategy working as planned. He had captured one of the Bills, and with Superman now in the ranks of the enemy, devastating them, and with Voltron leading the charge, the enemy would be reeling from the beginning. It was an extra bonus that the diabolical Gleeful twins had gotten involved so soon. They would be distracted and now cut off from immediate support.

They could win the day! They just had to keep it up!

"Stanley, move the island forward and take us into battle," Ford commanded.

"Aye, aye, Co-Captain," Stan said, concentrating on imagining the island moving forward.

"And can I light up the fireworks," Soos asked excitedly.

"Permission granted," Stan answered.

"Permission Associate Co-Captain granted," Soos said happily and he poured in his imagination into the island as well. The floating Stan head spat fire and roared as it got closer to the enemy army.

All sense of order broke among the monsters and they screamed, charging forward through the air. Large, laser spitting wyverns flew out of the pillar of fire and attacked from above. Voltron leaped into the air and split into the Five Lions to deal with them. Jake stretched himself out into the front lines and let Finn, Marceline, and Huntress Wizard begin wrecking the fools. A ball of black flame shot from the blue pillar and came to rest before the heroes of _Adventure Time_ , and transformed itself into the Lich.

"Seriously!? Can we never catch a break with you," Finn cried out, hefting his Nighto-sword high over his head.

The flames from the Island of Stan roasted any enemy that came too close to the front, so many of them began circling around, exposing themselves to arrows and missiles from the defenders. The Gummi Bears threw small boulders, the Smurfs and mice shot diminutive, but deadly arrows, and hunky knights taken from Don Bluth films formed a shield wall.

The Cipher Dragon crashed down from the sky and used its tail to sweep aside the knights, opening up the back for the monsters to pour into. The attack would have successfully created a route, but a small group of defenders stood their ground. The _My Little Pony_ D&D party.

"Oh yeah! This is exactly what I wanted! Fighting dragons and overwhelming odds! Oh, the loot drop is going to be spectacular," Rainbow Dash gushed.

"Not so fast Rainbow," Discord said, pulling her back by her tail. "That Cipher Dragon is enormously powerful. It will take someone with similar chaos magic to counter him, and for that, I'll need Spike to buff me. Got it?"

"Roger that," Spike said, stroking his wizard's beard impressively.

"Fiiine! Then Big Mac and I have the small guys," Rainbow Dash complained, rolling her eyes.

"And I'll play you all a merry tune to boost your states," Pinkie Pie sang. Pulling out of her infinity pocket her one-pony band, she did just that.

"And I'll give us another boost as well," Discord said delightedly. Storm clouds appeared overhead and another, larger Discord popped his head out and spat out a 20-sided die. It landed with 14. "Well, not a miracle worker, but definitely something I can work with!"

Discord shot an arrow that became a massive, freezing fist, which took the Cipher Dragon in the face and froze its head into an ice block. The blue Bill Cipher rose up as flames and melted the block away quickly, but was distracted enough for Spike to cast a binding spell. This allowed Discord to keep up a barrage of well-placed arrows. A cheesy health bar appeared over the Cipher Dragon's head, showing a fall in HP.

Rainbow Dash zoomed around, plowing over the mess of monsters and dark warriors. Big Mac then used his broad sword, wielded via unicorn magic, to mop up the fallen foes. The quick come back allowed for the knights still able to move to reform the shield wall ad keep anyone at bay who tried break in at the sides.

But bringing the island closer towards the mess allowed for the enemy to strike from every angle. Tall Urgals, Uruks, and Fused charged the sidelines and broke in. Behind them came a veritable swarm of radioactive candy people and monsters from _Adventure Time_.

"Alright dude, it's time to get to work," Wendy shouted to Dipper, and he grinned back at her. Knowing that this place acted like the mindscape gave them some fun advantages.

Wendy flipped out her double axes and they blazed to life with golden fire. She flew at one of the Fused and severed an arm off as it tried to fly away. The arm burned to ash. She then hurled another into the chest of seven foot Urgal, and he took burst into smoke and flames instantly. As she flew down to retrieve it, Dipper cleared the way with laser vision, chopping a squadron of Uruks in half.

"What in the name of the Evil One," one of them gasped, before toppling over dead.

Another Fused dropped out of the sky to take on Dipper. Dipper used a special punching move from Fight Fighters to explode the Fused in a burst of blue pixels. Wendy rose up in the air to meet him and they went back to back.

"Let's drop into the middle of this brawl," Wendy said, pumped and ready for more.

"You got it," Dipper replied loudly, and together they dropped back into the carnage, barely saving some Smurfs from getting trampled.

"Quick, get to the center and defend it," Wendy called out to the Smurfs.

The animals of _Redwall_ however, charged into the fray. Being so small, they were not noticed by the monsters, who then shouted and fell as swords, spears, and arrows took out their feet. They would fall and either get trampled, or finished off by Matthias wielding the legendary sword of Martin the Warrior. The radioactive monsters were frightening, but they could not come and help their comrades. A barrier prevented them from coming any closer.

"At least the spell is holding," Papa Smurf said, shaking sweat from his brow. He had put up a special protection spell at Ford's immediate request after seeing the zombies. "Now, my little Smurfs, we must sing to keep the barrier strong!"

The Smurfs started singing a lovely tune that somehow rose even over the din of battle. The barrier held strong, causing the radioactive monsters to pile up and stop even other reinforcements from getting onto the island. The enemies trapped within the barrier were quickly annihilated by Wendy and Dipper's combined efforts. They were a whirlwind of power, slashes, and punches, laying even the fearsome Fused low. A few, Edgedancers managed to get past them, but then they were sniped by Grunkle Stan.

"I got your back," He called out to them. "Ha! My compulsive hoarding of weapons for an insane reason are finally paying off! Maybe the NRA has it right after all… Nah! They are a bunch of loons! But now then canons! Canons are what we need!"

Canons appeared all around him, and he cackled as he fired them into the surrounding enemy forces.

Mabel was on the opposite side of the island from Dipper and Wendy, battling it out with devilish machines from the Demon Lord Aku, who had appeared for this fight as well. She was encased in her hamster ball, and running through the ranks of the machines, flattening them. She shot cute kittens from her fists once more, and they scratched and chewed away many of the robots.

"Little girl, you think that you can best the mighty Aku," the demon shouted down to her. "Do not be so foolish!"

"I'm not going to fight you," Mabel called back. "Okay, maybe just a little."

She shot some kittens at his eyes, and he yelped in pain as they scratched him.

When he finally pried them from his face he said dramatically, "You will pay for your insolence, mortal!"

He shot from his eyes a laser beam. Mabel fortified her ball, and the attack was deflected at the rest of his army, melting the robots. But the demon was quite powerful, and Mabel felt her ball weakening and growing hot inside. But luckily, she was not alone.

"Alright everyone, stare him down," Mabel cheered.

Aku had not paid any notice to the Care bears and their cousins lining up in battle formation. They all puffed out their tummies and stared the demon lord down with their magical beams. Aku cried out in terror and surprise, and the bright, good magic of friendship swirled around him like a tornado and carried him off into the void.

"Boy, and I thought Twinkle Heart could pack a punch! Thanks guys, for helping me out," Mabel called appreciatively from her hamster ball.

"No problem," Lionheart said happily, giving her a thumbs up.

"Arg! They are coming! An unstoppable force of clay warriors!" A random knight ran by, screaming his head off.

Mabel looked and sure enough, there they came, over a thousand skeletal figures of clay with metal sword and spear. She was going to face her fears once again today, but this would be easier than last time. Why? Because she was in a frickin' hamster ball, that's why! She rolled herself forward and flattened them into pancakes.

Ford, Stan, and Soos found themselves surprised from the front of the battle, as Thunderclasts and a Kushanada from _Hell Verse_ broke through the island's barrage of fires. They were followed by black knights with red eyes, impervious to the flames. The greater monsters being akin to the horrors in the Nightmare Realm strode through the fires as well. The pawns were being sacrificed, it was time to send in the heavy hitters.

Stan unloaded the last of his ammunition to no avail, before donning on golden brass knuckles to pummel the monsters with. Ford summoned to his side a Swiss Army Plasma Rifle, illegal in two dozen dimensions, due to its excessive usefulness. Soos twisted back his cap and pulled up his shirt to shoot his own belly beam at a Thundersclast; it barely slowed the creature of stone down. Ford had held the heroes of the Gar's Plaza back for just an emergency like this. He gave the signal and they all charged forward, the two sides meeting with grizzly series of crunches and screams.

Grunkle Stan went too far into the brawl, punching his way through the black armored knights. With his magical, golden knuckles, their armor caved in with well-placed hits. He silently blessed once more his father's cruelty and stubbornness in having him practice boxing to toughen him up. As each knight fell, red smoke and strange little demons escaped from within and scampered off. But once he was surrounded, then started jabbing and cutting him with their swords and spears.

Before he could be overwhelmed, Stan was saved by a series of plasma fire, melting the knights. Ford appeared at his side and healed his twin with a thought. They shared a nod and determined faces before also going back to back and retreating from the onslaught. Ford cleared the way and Stanley had his back.

Radicles levitated a knight in the air and Enid super charged kicked it into a Thunderclast. Once again, the beast way barely stopped. Gar was thrown aside by the Kushanada. Shady Figure danced through the soldiers and made his way to places unknown. K.O. was barely keeping his foes at bay, sending out strong punches and kicks, but the kngiths kept coming!

Then the monsters crawled over the knights and threatened to break the center of the allied formation. The two Stan found themselves in the shadow of a second Thunderclast, bearing down on them with long, sharp fingers like spears. Ford engaged the rifle's bayonet feature and Stan managed to knock away one finger, but the stone beast trapped them under its claws. It then leaned in to crush them flat when its midsection blew apart and it toppled to the side.

The Batwing flew throught the explosion and Batman flipped out, carrying Human Bill Cipher over his shoulder. He threw a number of smoke bombs and explosive bat boomerangs that warded off the monsters and knights momentarily.

"Now, kid," Batman shouted.

"At last," Spider flew out from behind and started slinging his webs all over the legs and arms of the other Thunderclast and Kushanada.

Spiderman's strong and quick web slinging tripped up the second stone beast, and it fell. The heroes of Gar' Plaza swarmed it and broke it apart as it couldn't fight back. The large Kushanada was a different matter. It ripped the bonds apart easily and brought a massive hand to crush everyone. Soos imagined himself growing bigger and caught Kushanada's hand. The two titans began wrestling, and the handyman pushed the warden of hell backwards, devastating the forces still coming through the flames.

"We'll be overrun unless we do something soon," Batman said to Ford.

"We've allowed over selves to be drawn out and get spread out," Ford said heatedly. He then magnified his voice and called out to everyone, "Pull back to the center, we need to regroup!"

Just then, Kushanada got a hold on Soos, and flipped the handyman. The beast gave its hideous roar and sped towards the group of heroes, getting ready to finish what it started. It head's suddenly split in two, and it crumbled into pieces. Superman had flown and punched his way right through the monster's head.

"Nice going Sups," Spider Man called out to the flying superhero.

"Soos, you all right," Stan called out.

"Fine, Mr. Pines," Soos said in a slurred voice, as he got up dizzily. "Now it's time to get rid of these guys for good!"

"Wait, Soos, don't do anything brash," Ford warned.

"He's Soos, when does he not," Stan muttered.

Soos once more lifted his shirt and used a belly beam to clear the field of all the enemies that had made it through the flames, and simultaneously healed all of his friends and allies.

"Wow, I never thought I would be happy to see the hairy under belly again," Stan said with awe.

A voice the spoke in their ears, "Everyone down there, there's something bad going up here, you need to get a look at this!"

"What is it Shiro," Ford asked quickly.

"How is he speaking to us like that," Stan asked, confused.

"Don't think about it too much, Stanley," Ford responded. "Team Voltron, what do you see?"

"A very, very, very bad, unholy gathering of demons," Hunk answered back.

Everyone looked up and saw Voltron battling a large, Pyramid Bill, who defended a gathering of Bill Ciphers. All of these other Bills worked to form a large, golden glowing orb. When Ford looked at it, he got a bad sense of foreboding. Mabel, Dipper, and Wendy came over to their sides.

"The wings of the army are secured," Dipper informed them.

"What gaudy, terrible disco ball is that," Mabel asked, pointing up to the orb.

Human Bill laughed weakly and answered, "That is your doom. I helped gather Bill Ciphers from all over the Tumblrverse, bringing them out of their secluded worlds. When we are all together, we can create a spell of destruction that can wipe out entire dimensions in a single blow. We are going to wipe you all off the face of the map!"

He then managed to kick himself off Batman and pointed his cane towards a structure in the center of the island. One of the Pines' last allies to come through where Lego people from the _Lego_ movies. They had built a special weapon for Ford that could be powered by him and his family to banish Madladl whenever he showed his face. This was the trump card they had been protecting and saving. Bringing closer into the battle so they could use it immediately when needed. Now, it was exposed, and in a flash, Bill blasted it into bricks.

Ford paled as he now realized that Bill had indeed played the winning strategy. All of the beasts who he had taken for heavy hitters had been nothing more than pawns. The Bills, the Bills he had not expected, were the power pieces in this game. He had situated himself perfectly once again. He had just taken out Ford's queen and was in position to now take the rest of the board! Words of defeat escaped his lips and he found himself sinking to his knees in despair.

It was then that Voltron answered with a saving grace.

Team Voltron had been fighting an aggressive aerial battle from the beginning, ever since the wyverns showed up. But even laser spitting beasts were no match for Shiro's leadership, Pidge's quick wit, Keith's daring, Hunk's steadfastness, and Lance's raging Lance-ness. By separating into the individual Lions, they were able to mop up the wyverns quickly, but then they had been beset by monsters conjured from the first Power Rangers series. Forming Voltron again, there had been a hailstorm of sparks as they had cloven their way through a veritable army of cheesy costumes.

But all of that fighting had eaten up a lot of time, and only when it was too late had they noticed the collection of Bills and the orb of golden light. They had tried to get close to inspect it, but they were blocked by a giant, black Pyramid Bill. This Bill easily knocked aside all of their sword attacks. It was then that they got the bad news.

"We just lost our anti-Bill ray," Ford cried out. "Human Bill Cipher, he used Batman to get in close and destroy it!"

Shiro ground his teeth while Hunk spazzed out. Keith called for immediate action against the orb, while Lance questioned if that was such a good idea.

"Now that I've had some time, I'm picking up a major amount of energy stored within that spell, or whatever it is," Pidge told the others. "It's off the charts! It's more than the quintessence we've gone up against before!"

"Holy crap! How are we supposed to fight against that," Hunk shouted.

"Keith is right," Shiro said. "We need to disrupt whatever it is that they are doing. Team Voltron, forward! Hunk, get the canon ready!"

Hunk activated Voltron's shoulder canon and they tried getting a blast off at the ord. Pyramid Bill summoned the energy into his palms and shot it right back at Voltron. The robot summoned its shield just in time to intercept the deflected attack, but the team was thrown back pretty far.

"Wait," Shiro said calmly. "Pidge, locate our Star! And once you have a lock on it, let's see if we can bring the Teladuv through."

"But what will we do with that," Lance asked skeptically.

"We're going to contain all of those Bills and their energy in a pocket reality," Shiro explained. "And if we manage that, if they use that orb, they'll only destroy themselves."

"That's brilliant, Shiro," Pidge cheered. "Okay, I have out Star located, reaching out to it through my Lion now!"

"Ford, everyone," Shiro called through the comms, right as Ford was giving into despair. "We have a way of stopping those Ciphers: we're bringing a wormhole machine here to contain them and their power. It should be a good prison where they can't hurt anyone else."

Ford snapped to and responded, "The wormhole sadly won't contain them forever, they're much too powerful for that! But, a wormhole could keep them locked away long enough for the Lego people to rebuild the device and then we can eliminate every last one of them as they are all caught together! Yes! This can work! How much longer until you can the wormhole drive here?"

"It'll be here in a just a few ticks," Pidge answered.

"What's this," Human Bill laughed nearby. "You think that you can stop all of us? I have hundreds of Bill Ciphers gathered from all over the Tumblrverse! It is impossible to stop us all! Besides, your machine is broken, and you are surrounded by my forces."

"You know," Ford snarled. "I wondered how everyone managed to get here."

"We have a _very_ connected benefactor," Bill answered simply. "That's really all you need to know. I'm not giving you any more chances for recovery."

"I don't need time for recovery, just time to retaliate," Ford smiled triumphantly as Stan jumped behind Human Bill and punched him hard in the temple. With a burst of golden light, Bill was thrown to the side.

"Ha! You never could focus on the right brother," Ford laughed.

"No matter what form you take, or in what dimension you find yourself," Stan snarled, stepping up to the sprawled out Bill. "You should never, _ever_ mess with my family!"

There was another explosion, but this time black fire rose in a pillar as another pillar of blue fire sprang up opposite of the black one. The Lich hurried through his diseased flames towards the good guys. The Cipher Dragon reared up at the other end of the island, and transformed, becoming even larger and more hideous.

"I can't believe it, he's leveled up," Discord shouted to everyone.

"Now can I buck it," Rainbow Dash asked impatiently. She didn't wait for a response but flew up and kicked it in the eye; the monster barely registered the attack.

Soos grew his large size once more and tried tackling the dragon. It easily threw him to the side. It grabbed the barrier that Papa Smurf had made and shattered it. The zombies toppled in, but only to be swallowed up with a flood of bubblegum. Princess Bubblegum came in, riding the torrent.

"Take that you mindless, oozing dumbs," she shouted.

"Not so fast," Bill hissed through his teeth as he lay on the floor. He pointed his cane at the deluge of bubblegum, and it stopped. It then started writhing and became another great beast, leaking green goo. PB barely escaped in time. "Whatever victory you enjoy Ford, I can turn it on its head and make it a bigger one for me!"

Human Bill then appeared next to Dipper and gloated, "Now I will be taking my prize!"

"Over my dead body," Mabel screamed, shooting her grappling hook at Bill.

He caught it with his cane and then reeled the twin in. "A signature move like that is too predictable Shooting Star! Like I was telling Sixer there-"

"Eat my ax," Wendy roared, taking her larger ax and swinging it tow handed into Bill's chest. She then wrenched her blade free.

The one eyes demon coughed up black goo and hiccupped blue flames, before stepping backwards, stunned. "Wow, Red. Who would have thought you were so possessive? Or could have killing intent?"

Wendy then dropkicked Human Bill and sent him tumbling backwards again. Ford raised his rifle and blasted Bill in the face, melting it. Human Bill just lay on the ground, not even twitching.

"Unfortunately, he's not dead yet," Ford said angrily. "But he is stunned for now. Good work Wendy and Mabel. Dipper, are you all right?"

"I'm fine," Dipper replied, sounding winded.

"Well, I'm not! We need to finish this Ford," Stan said hurriedly, casting wary eye at the orb.

"Yes, this will all be over soon," the Lich said, coming up to them. Everyone's knees buckled and they went to the ground. "Endings are inevitable, so they should be embraced when they come. Your ending are now."

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Finn cried out, cutting his way through the dark flames, dispelling the pillar. "Don't worry guys, I've got him!"

"Enough of this" the Lich spat.

"No! Your spells can't touch me so long as I have this cursed sword," Finn explained. "Which means I finally have the drop on you!"

Sure enough the Lich backed away as Finn advanced. He then called for Jake to try and help Soos restrain the Cipher Dragon. Jake the Dog grew as big as he could and tackled the dragon as well. Some of the Care bears had joined in, trying to stare the beast down. Luckily, in all the chaos, the knights and springing Gummi Bears did wonders to repel the lower level beasts. Even the radioactive bubblegum monster was no match for Superman and Batman. Superman beat it into pieces and Batman dissolved it with stuff from his belt. Spider Man then hopped around plastered any enemy stragglers to the ground. As Voltron struggled against Pyramid Bill, the Teladuv appeared and moved into position to trap the bills.

"Legos," Dipper called out. "We need you to rebuild the machine so that we can trap all of the Bills!"

"On it," the small, blocky people said, quickly getting to work.

A portal opened above them all, and the Gleefuls returned. Evil Dipper was healed and looked livid. He used his powers to stop the Teladuv and pull it back from the orb. Evil Mabel knocked aside the Stans and Wendy. She then addressed the younger twins.

"Madladl told us the importance you two hold in all of this. It's your deaths he needs the most. That is why he tried killing you both in Piedmont. So we will finish the job for him. Plus, there can only be one set of _us_!"

"Yes," evil Dipper agreed. "Right here and now, we will battle it out, for the fate of everyone. Unless you can defeat us, you will never get that machine ready to save yourselves. So let's finish what we began back in Gravity Falls."

Dipper and Mabel nodded to one another and said, "You're on!"

"This is going to be _fun_ ," Mabel Gleeful said as she and her brother burst with sickly green and blue magic. "You're going to die!"

20-8-9-19 2-1-20-20-12-5 9-19 14-15-20-8-9-15-7 2-21 1 20-25-16-5 15-6

20-8-9-14-7-19 25-5-20 20-15 3-15-13-5


	13. Episode 13 - The Portal: Axolotl

Dipper and Mabel were left alone to deal with the Gleeful twins. True, they weren't exactly alone. They were in the middle of a giant battle that was being for them! But they could tell from the look their evil doppelgangers were giving them, and the fact that they had been magically distanced from the others, that this was going to be strictly their _fight_.

"Oh, and by the way," evil Dripper drawled. "We know about the special ability of this in between dimension, that whatever you think can be made to happen. Well, don't think that it'll save you two. We can tell that you have very little experience with how a place or how powers like this work. My sister and I are the opposite. Sorry, just wanted to make sure that you both know the hopelessness of your situation before you die."

"You talk too much," Dipper snarled, taking a step and appearing right beside his doppelganger.

Evil Dipper raised an eyebrow, but then raised a forearm to deflect Dipper's punch. Dipper Gleeful levitated over Dipper and delivered a kick that forced Dipper to leap aside. Mabel Gleeful shot out acidic glitter at her better double. Mabel saw the glitter eat the ground as it came for her, but she confidently stood her ground and tucked her hands into her sweater. She then flapped them about, imagining them growing larger and sending a whirlwind back at her evil self. As the glitter came for her, Mable Gleeful also rose into the air to avoid getting hit.

The two dark twins glared down, and evil Mabel sneered, "You're so cute and creative, it's sickening! No one person can think up all these things!"

"Considering I've changed myself into a jury of my own peers, I can confidently say there are multiple people in here," Mabel retorted.

"I don't think that is something to brag about," Dipper mumbled. "Mabel, we need to work together to deal with these guys. You and I make an unstoppable team. Bill knew it. We know it! It's time they did, too!"

Dipper and mabel put their arms out, crucifix style, and they also rose into the air. The Gleefuls regarded them warily. Dipper and Mabel then did their signature "twins!" routine. The evil twins gave one another a disgusted, unsure look, before Mabel careened into them. Dipper and Mabel spun one another at the elbow, and bowled the Gleefuls apart, and then they split up. Dipper went for evil Mabel, and Manel went for evil Dipper.

"No, I will never kiss my sister on the lips, real or evil copy," Dipper shouted, socking Mabel Gleeful in the mouth.

"My braces," the evil twins screamed, as they cut her lips and blushed sprouted between her fingers covering her mouth.

"Tickle, tickle, tickle," Mabel teased, tickling her evil twin.

"H-H-H-How," Dipper Gleeful howled through tears of laughter.

"Because I know Dipper very well," Mabel said proudly.

"Mabel! Switch!" As Dipper said that, they both reversed their positions.

Mabel took the opportunity to rub to add insult to injury, and blew her last bit of glitter into evil Mabel's eyes. Dipper appeared before his alter self and threw him a heavy rock. As Dipper Gleeful caught it, he plummeted to the ground.

"Ha! Take that, you noodle arms," Dipper gloated.

"How can they be beating us," evil Mabel fumed. "We are the ones who use magic! We have the larger army! We own Gravity Falls! These two are just tricksters!"

Dipper and Mabel switched places again. Mabel ripped away evil Dipper's new, magical bolo tie and increased the weight of the rock, crushing him further in. Dipper stuffed evil Mabel into a magically summoned, drab, gray sweater, pinning her arms.

"You are just like us, except evil," Dipper explained. "So we know who you both are. We know your weaknesses."

"Arg! This sweater is sooo horrible and ugly. Get me out of it!"

"Thanks for proving my point," Dipper smiled. He then felt something bad come up behind him and be barely dodged out of the way. The Cipher Dragon chomped down on Mabel Gleeful, spraying Dipper with blood and glitter. "Mabel get out of there!"

Mabel flew out of the way, just evil Dipper cried out, "No! Mabel!"

The dragon breathed a torrent of blue flames at the helpless Dipper, and burned him to ash. It then spread out its wings and loomed over the twins. Rainbow Dash appeared and yanked them both out of the way before another burst of flames roasted them as well.

"Gotta watch out! Nothing that we've done to that thing can stop it!"

As the Pegasus pulled the twins further away to safety, the Teladuv began moving again towards the other Bills. Their orb was now bright like a sun. Its great power was like a force of gravity, slowing everyone down. Finn still chased the Lich.

"Give it up Lich! You'll never get away!"

"No child, I will endure," the Lich countered. "The weight of this overwhelming power affects a mortal such as yourself, weakening you. But for me, I am unbound."

Finn had to admit that he was getting slower. The Lich was retreating towards the blue pillar. Many of the monsters that had accompanied him were getting sluggish and even going limp under the presence of the orb.

"Soon, you will all be dead," the Lich laughed.

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Shady Figure grinned behind the Lich.

"What?" The Lich began, but stopped short as an glass ball in Shady Figure's hand drained the dark power of the undead scholar of Golb from him. The Lich grew weak and fell to his knees. Finn didn't spare a second, and he cut the Lich in two. The beast disintegrated into black smoke.

"Thanks man," Finn panted. "Just going by the looks of you, I'd swear you were a villain, but you really helped me out back there!"

"I am a villain," Shady Figure laughed. "But I am a smart one. I know that things would have turned out the way any of these fools hope if we just let that orb go off. So, I am doing the wise thing, but I am also making an investment in a future plan. I am really, quite excited to see where this one goes."

Shady Figure flipped away backwards into the host of slow motion monsters and disappeared once more. Finn was left utterly confused. Meanwhile, up above, Voltron muscled through the presence of the orb and kept the Pyramid Bill from attacking the Teladuv.

"We are so close," Lance said anxiously. "It's almost there!"

Shiro radioed back down, "Ford, what is the status of the weapon?"

Ford responded quickly. It should be rebuilt again soon, but that orb is slowing everyone down here. It looks ready to go off!"

"Don't worry! The Teladuv will be in position soon," Pidge said. "By my calculation-"

Pidge was cut off as the wormhole machine was blown to smithereens. Human Bill Cipher rose unsteadily from the ground. His face was quickly growing back, and an evil, twisted grin was fixed in place.

"You cannot defeat us! The plan was full proof!" Before he could say much more, Spider Man swung in and began dressing him in webbing.

"That's enough out of you," the teen snapped. "I'll get this guy wrapped up like a Christmas present in no time!"

"What does it matter, though," Ford asked. "They'll have that spell ready to go before the machine is finished!"

"Don't lose heart," Superman stepped up to him. "We need to have faith."

"In what though," Batman inquired. "I agree with Stanford, this looks really, really bad. And Voltron still hasn't defeated that Pyramid Bill yet. It will block us from attacking the others."

"And don't forget me!" Bill melted the webbing from his body and tried to cast spells at Spider Man. Luckily, Spidey's spider senses helped him to dodge all of the attacks.

"And we can't forget that guy," Stan said with a slurred voice, pointing to the dragon. Soos and Jake kept trying to pull it back, but no avail.

Rainbow dash appeared beside them all with Dipper and Mabel on her back.

"We can't give up hope," Dipper said. "There must be a way. If we can keep those three Bills distracted, then the machine from the Legos should work!"

"But we've run out of time, Dipper," Ford maintained. "They're just not fast enough!"

"Well, if you want speed, then I'm your Pegasus," Rainbow Dash grinned fiercely.

"Can you assemble whatever thing-a-ma-jig that is?" Stan pointed to the guns the Lego people were assembling.

"No, but I think I can buy us some time with a sonic rainboom!"

Pinkie Pie tumbled in and said, "But that will be impossible with all those Bills running around out there!"

"Not if we roll a 20," Spike put in, trotting slowly up. "Phew! It's getting difficult to move!"

Ford had an idea, "I knew there was a reason why I brought this along!" He pulled out the infinity sided die. "True, it's more likely that I'll roll a four, but this could be exactly what we need!"

"Grunkle Ford, are you sure you want to put our fate on the roll of a die that summoned a math wizard that tried to eat you and Dipper," Mabel asked skeptically.

"Sure I'm sure," Ford answered with gustow. "Stanley, blow on my die!"

"Anything for you, toots," Stan said rolling his eyes. He blew wetly on Ford's hand.

After Ford glared at his brother, he rolled the infinity sided die. Dipper, Stan, and Mabel recoiled. The die came to a rest with a strange symbol. Ford looked dumbfounded.

"Really!? That's what I roll? A helpful blessing for a future period in time," Ford complained. The dice glowed and a halo sprouted from it and came to rest over Rainbow Dash. "But that does not help us now!"

"Maybe it gives us hope for the future," Mabel suggested.

Wendy managed to run up to them and say, "Guys! Soos and the stretchy dog can barely hold off that dragon! He's sweeping our people away and setting them on fire! What are we going to do!"

Soos' struggling voice came over the channel. "Guys, I have an idea! But I need Voltron! Can you spare him for a moment?"

Before anyone from Gravity falls could respond, Discord slithered up and replied, "Yes. We can totally give you Voltrorb. I'll just roll the dice for Dash here, and we should be good."

"No! I'll roll it," Stan insisted. "I have the magic touch."

Discord shrugged and regurgitated the die for Stan. The sheister took it gingerly and Ford chuckled at his brother's discomfort. Ford screwed up his face and rolled the large die. It landed on a 20. Rainbow dash started glowing.

"Oh yeah! I can tell that this is going to be AWESOME!" Rainbow shot into the sky, right as Ford told Voltron to swoop down and help Soos.

"Oh no you don't! No funny business from you," Human Bill snarled, but Spiderman kicked him hard in the gut and sent him crashing into the canon of the Lego gun. He then kept up a barrage of webs to keep Bill stuck there. Batman also came and used a sharpened bat boomerang to impale Bill to the device.

Rainbow Dash skyrocketed towards the orb. The Bills all turned towards her and the Pyramid Bill moved to intercept. She blasted right through him, scattering bits of Bill everywhere. She struck the orb, and there was a massive explosion, followed by a gorgeous rainbow. Everyone on the island stopped and oohed and awed. Everyone except for Stan.

"Arg! My eyes are literally on fire! I hate colors even more now! Why!?"

"I'll put him out," Wendy said in a dazed tone, still looking up at the sky.

"Incredible," Ford said slowly. "Her attack punctured the orb in such a way that it created a vacuum effect, suck all of the power into one spot and then releasing it within her rainbow. Incredible! And the side effect was to pull all of the Bills to the center of the rainboom. All in one place…"

Ford realized his opportunity and yanked his grand niece and nephew after him. "Is tha machine ready!?"

"Yes," the Legos replied.

Human Bill struggled against his bonds, but Spider Man kept up the barrage so well that he couldn't let his way free fast enough. Wendy dragged over Stan and they touched machine, pouring the last of their strength into it. The beam charged and fired right through Human Bill. He screamed through the pain his final words, "Dog ytpme eht erofeb eid lla lliw uoy erehw, smlaer eht fo elttab lanif eht emoc lliw neht! Uoy rof emoc lliw eh! Sevil llits em fo lanigiro eht!" He then exploded as the beam blasted through him and hit the other Bills. They were all caught in the laser beam, but they weren't destroyed.

"Drat! What are we going to do with them now," Ford wondered.

"Easy," Dipper responded. "That one Bill said they came from the Tumblrverse. Well, it sounds like Tumblr, which is a blackhole, internet trash bin for nerd stuff. So, if we make a trash can that we can stuff them into, one just like Tumblr, it should contain them."

"Already done, Bro Bro," Mabel said, snapping her fingers and creating a pixel trash can.

"Excellent," Ford said, clapping Stan on the back, as Wendy positioned the beam to drag all of the Bills into the trash can.

As she managed it, and the lid snapped shut to trap them all, Rainbow Dash sped by overhead. Everyone began cheering until they heard the roaring. Spinning around they saw Soos and Jake, shrinking and stepping back. Soos had summoned the Shacktron right next to Voltron. The two robots did a dance and then connected their fists over their heads. They then fused together to become the Vol-Shack!

It was an even larger Voltron with its right hand being a T-Rex, having the portal in its chest, with cheap tourist gimmicks decorating its armor. Everyone gaped at its beauty.

"Now this is awesome," Hunk shouted out.

"Keith, form the sword," Shiro commanded.

As Keith did so, Voltron shot a blast from its chest, sending the Cipher Dragon crashing backwards and causing it to be stunned. The Vol-Shack then plunged its sword into the Dragon and shot energy through all of it. The Blue Bill Cipher went berserk and was eaten up by the power. The dragon quivered for a moment and then exploded, sending goop crashing over everyone.

The battle was over.

The survivors and victors started cheering. Many crashed to the ground, exhausted. Soos ran over and everyone shared a big hug. The monsters who had accompanied the Bills and the other lead villains realized they had lost, and tried to flee. Superman used his super speed to round them all up and kick them into the void of the cosmos.

"Ever the show off," Batman said, shaking his head. He was reluctantly pulled into a hug by Soos.

As the celebrating died down, a mouse asked, "What happens now? We lost friends and loved ones in that fight. What do we do with them? Also, how do we get home? Did we win just lose out here?"

Everyone fell silent at that question, but then a voice boomed over their heads. They could not see who spoke, but they understood the words.

"Everyone will be sent home. Your loved ones whom you lost here will be waiting for you there. The slate will be wiped clean for many of you, giving you peace of mind so that these battles and this terrible knowledge of the multiverse and realms will not plague you. This is my gift for stopping such a great evil."

A wave of refreshing darkness washed over everyone. It momentarily blinded Ford, but after blinking a couple of times, he found himself before the dazzling, majestic Axolotl. It smiled down at him and then spoke.

"Traveler. He with Six Fingers and enemy to my foes, welcome. Long have you sought me, though never directly."

Ford was confused until he remembered a night, long ago, in a temple…

"Yes, you are beginning to remember a little. My servants and I usually clean the memories of those whom we meet, for the knowledge that we pass to them is too dangerous to be left unchecked. After this meeting, you will forget much of this encounter, but I plan on imparting some comforting words and information to you," Axolotl explained.

"First of all, Dipper's timeliness with touching my coin will be invaluable to a future cause. You will live to see it come to fruition, and the Realms of Imagination will rejoice at the result. If it were not for the fateful encounter of a young boy and this item of power, many more lives would be lost, and a great hero might lose his courage at the crucial moment. Indeed, he may never come to accept that he is indeed a hero, rather than the villain he believes himself to be.

"Secondly, your roll with the infinity die will also save many more to come, including those you would never have desired to save. But this is for the better, because we will need every hand we can to defeat the Darkness that now rises through the Realms. I have felt it clawing at my mind; it seeks to consume all, to bring it into a light and world that neither are ready for. It would destroy everything.

"This battle may not be the tipping point for the war, but it will be remembered as one of the most crucial battles fought. Alas, your troubles are only beginning: Madladl may have lost this round, but he also gained a great victory. You must move quickly to counter him. On the night when spirits and horrors are most honored by the living, he will have a window of opportunity to reclaim what was taken from him. And with the connections he had found through the Tscheapwhetzar, he will be even more terrible than he was before. Stanford Pines, you must stop him!"

"Wait, all of this will be taken from my memory? How is that fair," Ford asked angrily. "How can I stop Madladl and protect my family if you wipe my mind? How can you even do that with my metal plate in my head?"

Axolotl answered patiently, "Though the mind and soul are protected through the magic of innovation and creativity bound in forged metals, a soul touching another soul has always been the greatest connection of all, opening all kinds of possibilities. As for the memories, they will come when they are needed, so strengthen and guide you. Finally, you have everything you need to hunt down and stop Madladl. Trust your family."

With that, Ford was again swallowed in darkness and then spat out in the alley. The sun was setting, and the others were around him and looking down. He discovered that he was lying on the sidewalk by the alleyway, the painted dragon still snarling on the wall. He got up and brushed himself off.

"So, I guess we won," Mabel asked. "Hurray?"

"It certainly feels like we won," Dipper agreed. "But it also feels like we're missing something."

"Madladl," Ford breathed. "He wasn't at the battle. He didn't need to be. He got what he needed from the experience. But we also got what we needed. A name, for starters, and confirmation that he is the one behind everything. But don't worry… Everything we need to defeat him is already here in Gravity Falls."

"Then how about some victory pie at Greasy's Diner," Stan suggested, before quickly adding. "Soos is paying."

"Alright," Soos said excitedly.

Tired and battle worn, though somehow miraculously cleaned up, the gang trooped off for some pie.

20-8-5 2-1-20-20-12-5 23-1-19 20-8-21-19 23-15-14, 1-14-4 13-1-14-25 8-5-18-15-5-19 23-5-18-5 13-1-4-5, 2-21-20 20-8-5 7-18-5-1-20 5-22-9-12 9-19 14-15-20 21-14-4-15-14-5, 23-1-20-3-8 6-15-18 20-8-5 19-13-9-12-9-14-7 19-1-12-1-13-1-14-4-5-18


	14. Episode 14 - Center of the Falls

The next day, Ford called a family meeting, including Soos, if only because the handyman would not be excluded. Ford had the dining room table cluttered with papers and small books, and he looked as if he still hadn't slept off the battle. The others still felt rattled about everything, especially Dipper and Mabel, but at least they had gotten a good night's sleep.

After yawning, Ford said, "Alright everyone, we have a serious problem on our hands. There's a portal to other realms right in the middle of Gravity Falls, and what's more it is under the influence of a beast called Madladl. But the biggest problem is that I have no idea who or what he is! Without any knowledge, we can't defeat him for good."

"Then what in the name of Abraham Lincoln are you gonna do about it," Stan asked.

"Grunkle Stan! Taking the name of Lincoln in vain! Go clean out your mouth," Mabel ordered.

"Where would we even start with looking for information on Madadl," Dipper asked.

"CLEAN IT I SAY! With soap!"

"Take it easy Mabel," Stan said, holding up his hands.

"We have tons of discount soap in the back," Soos said, gesturing behind himself. "It was meant for the outhouse, but then there wouldn't be any room to use if there was a dispenser."

"People, can we please focus on what really matters here," Ford snapped.

"I wish you would," Mabel said with a sniff.

Ford growled, but he then turned to his great nephew. "To answer your question Dipper, I have an idea of where we can begin. Underneath Gravity Falls is a network of tunnels that I am convinced were dug by the original inhabitants of this valley to hide in when Bill finally made his move to enter our dimension. Luckily for them, that demonic triangle didn't accomplish his goal when they were alive.

"When I was younger and conducting my research into the weirdness of Gravity falls, I came across not only the inscription regarding Bill, but there were other hieroglyphics that might be able to provide us with more information."

"Do you think it'll be wise to go back into those tunnels with all of the dinosaurs running loose? The summer heat did a number on that sap," Dipper pointed out.

"Nah, dawg, we Pterodactyl-bros have got this down," Soos said, offering a high five, which Dipper only gave halfheartedly.

"We could always ask the gnomes," Mabel suggested. "Better yet, _you_ can ask the gnomes! I've had enough of having to deal with Jeff. Enough for four life times I tell you!"

"What about the gnomes," Ford asked, genuinely interested.

"I don't know. I never got to taste one," Stan shrugged. "They might have been tasty, but we ended Weirdmageddon before we roast one of them."

Ford gave his twin a flat look as Dipper excitedly said, "Yeah! There was that time we had to gather all of their gnomulettes to help Jeff with a problem."

"A problem he created," Mabel corrected.

"Right, and that unleashed a monster that we had to defeat. It was like the gnomes had some kind of deity from way back in the day," Dipper explained. "Sadly, we really couldn't find out more."

"Hot Belgian Waffles! What other adventures did you two go on when I wasn't looking," Stan asked.

"Some questions are better left unanswered. Like how many gummy bears I can shove into my nose!"

"Didn't you already do that with gummy worms," Dipper asked.

Mabel waved a hand. "Yeah, and I thought gummy bears would be similar. Do not try shoving a gelatinous ursine up your nostril Dipper! Those fat bellies get stuck in all the wrong places!"

"Too much information," Ford coughed. "Enough of this! We need to decide on a plan of action. The gnomes might be a good source of information-"

"But what about dinosaurs," Soos asked, looking crest fallen.

"What about personal space," Mabel cried out.

Pinching the bride of his nose, Ford said, "Fine, the tunnels it'll be. I guess that's a good choice anyway, since I want to see what it all was that I came across down there again."

"I don't like the sound of this," Stan muttered. "That shadowy, bird thingy is after us and going into a deep and dark place doesn't sound like a good idea! Mabel, do you have any more of that unicorn hair? Why not just make another barrier around the shack and live it up like kings in here with the gold Mabel and Dipper got on their other conveniently unmentioned adventure?"

"Tempting. Tempting," Mabel said, scratching her chin.

Ford shook his head, as though something came to his mind, but wasn't quite right. "No, we need to meet this new threat head on. It is a risk, but it one that we'll have to take. Though leaving the kids behind with Soos might be the best idea for right now."

"Nuh-uh! We're coming with you," Dipper protested.

"Yeah, who's going to get you out of a jam again, if not us," Mabel said pleasantly "I mean, that is by now kind of our thing."

The two Grunkles shared a look and collectively sighed.

"Alright," Stan said with a shrug. "I guess you can join in our adventure to the center of the Earth, or wherever it is that we're going. Just don't get involved in any weird stuff!"

"Stanley, seeing as we are in Gravity Falls, that is literally and scientifically impossible," Ford remarked, which earned him a glare from Stan.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mark paced anxiously in the boy's bathroom at school, muttering to himself. "This is not good. This isn't good! I almost lost Wendy, and just as bad is that the Pines and that infernal Dipper managed to return! Does Madladl know what he's doing?"

"Of course I know what I am doing," Madladl replied from the mirror, causing Mark to yelp in panic. "Calm down you fool! And listen!"

Mark inched towards the mirror, slack jawed at what he saw. "There's something different about you, Madladl."

There was. The once shadowy beast was much more defined now. Clear lines depicted a muscular body with four lean arms that ended with claws. A feathered headset rested on top of a beaked head, that had sharp, gleaming red yes. There were also signs of old, Indian armor like what the Aztecs had worn, on Madladl's shoulders and torso.

"Yes, my shaman, I am growing much stronger. Soon, we will be ready for the spell that is necessary for brining me back to full strength! And you will be at the very center of that," the god said happily.

"But the Pines-" Mark began.

"Will be dealt with in time. I did underestimate them," Madladl admitted grudgingly. "But next time will be different. We can send agents to harry the way for them until the ceremony is ready. Soon, the universal All Ghouls' Eve will be upon us, and it will be the best time: when the boundaries between all realms and possibilities become blurred."

"What, you mean Halloween," Mark asked, gripping the sink in front of the mirror and leaning in close.

"Yes. That will be when we strike."

"Tell me more," Mark implored, almost kissing the mirror he was so close.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"Yeah, you'll have better kissing practice using a doll!"

"Or your mom!"

"Ha! Nice one Nate!"

Mark spun about to see Nate and Lee high fiving each other in the door way and laughing at how silly mark must have just been looking. He colored and and walked out, shoving past them.

 _I'll make them all pay! Once I have Wendy, they will all pay for how they have treated me_ , he thought angrily.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Soos' truck pulled up to the old abandoned church that had once been a haunt of Old Man McGucket's. They brought repelling equipment so they could slide down safely through the shaft to the subterranean world. The geyser made the descent a little difficult, but in the end the group managed it.

"Sheesh! And to think I once thought of having an attraction down here," Stan muttered under his breath.

"But Mr. Pines, it would have been such a glorious venture! Brining in people from all over the world to have just a glimpse at the noble, ancient, once-extinct beasts," Soos said passionately.

"And then it would have all fallen apart and the poor sap in charge would be saddled with court fees and insurance for the rest of his life! Until a new investor came in and created an even arger, more successful attraction that would last for years and made some real dough," Stan said happily with that new realization. "Hey Soos, how do you feel about getting this attraction started after We Pines wrap things up in Gravity Falls?"

"Oh boy, that sounds amazing! Dipper, will you be my right-hand Pterodactyl-bro," Soos gushed.

"I'm not sure if I want to be dragged into this," Dipper answered shakily.

"Don't you dare put this into motion, Stanley," Ford whispered to his brother. To the rest he called out, "Come on, we're burning oil down here! Let's find those old paintings!"

Ford held up an old oil lamp and helped lead the way further into the cave. Mabel had stocked up glow in the dark stickers that made her into a cute beacon of light that helped illuminate the tunnels further. As they walked Ford reminisced about his time exploring and researching Gravity Falls. He told them, much to Stan's annoyance, all about the complex webs of tunnels under the valley, and how he hypothesized that they might have drawn out a symbol.

"I wanted to investigate further," he explained. "But that was around the time I hit the roadblock with my theory about weirdness in Gravity Falls, and when I then came across the inscriptions regarding Bill. And the beginning of my second greatest error."

"Second greatest," Mabel asked.

Ford nodded. "Yes Mabel. You see, looking back at everything now, I realize that my greatest error in judgement was not trusting my brother and then distancing myself from my family. That created a habit of keeping others at arm's length if they didn't go along with what I thought was best. That allowed a wedge to come between me and Fiddleford, which only exaggerated the problem with Bill Cipher and the end of the world. All the way up to the very end of Weirdmageddon."

"Yes, it is nice to hear how I am the hero," Stan said proudly, sticking out his chest and pushing his hat back.

"There is a lot I wish I could change, but it's times like these that help make it up," Ford said, smiling.

"Then why would you try and keep us, your own family, from coming along earlier," Mabel inquired.

"Because it's only natural to protect the people you love," he answered sheepishly.

Mabel patted her Grunkle on the arm and said, "That is what Doctor Mabel is here for. To help you come to terms with everything and move on. That'll be fifty bucks please!"

"Ha! A chip off the old block! Good on ya, Mabs!"

"It's Mabel," she corrected Grunkle Stan.

"Everyone quiet! I think I can hear something up ahead," Dipper said.

"What kind of dinosaur do you think it is," Soos asked in a whisper.

"I know which one I wouldn't it to be," Dipper replied as Ford held up the lamp.

The oil lamp's light cast a beam that was reflected in three sets of eyes. Bulking and sticky from sap raptors gave the troop greedy, hungry looks. They stalked forward, saliva pouring from between their jaws. Stan cried out and used a smoke bomb to give them cover.

As the group ran, Ford cried out, "Nice going Stanley! That smoke will confuse their sense of smell!"

"They can smell, too," Stan asked with a yelp.

Sprinting, Ford readied a blaster as Mabel also got out her grappling hook. The others get glancing back over their shoulders and soon the shadowy figures of the raptors were in hot pursuit.

"If we keep running this direction, they'll mow us down, and if we split off into another tunnel we might be lost," Ford muttered to himself. "I can probably take one down before the other pounce on us."

"Let's take that mine cart," Dipper cried out, pointing to a rickety cart on rusted tracks.

"But we don't know where it goes," Stan protested.

"We do! Away from those overgrown lizards," Mabel shouted.

Everyone barreled into the cart so quickly that it got going and soon picked up momentum, but the dinosaurs still gave chase. One of raptors gained enough speed to fall in beside the cart. Ford got off two shots, but only grazed the beast. Mabel had more luck. She used her grappling hook to create a line that clothes-lined the hapless dino. As it flipped backwards, the strain nearly yanked Mabel from the cart. Stan and Dipper were able to grab a hold of her and keep her in as they sped up.

"That was super dangerous Mabel," Dipper reprimanded her.

"Yeah, but I saved us, didn't I?"

"Not for long dudes! Look," Soos shouted, pointing up to a ledge where another raptor was preparing to leap.

It let loose a terrible bark as it soared down to them. Stan fixed on a set of brass knuckles and gave a haymaker to the creature as it landed precariously on the cart's edge. The blow easily knocked the raptor away and it rolled pathetically behind the cart. The final raptor finally pulled up on the other side of the cart. It snapped its jaws and reached into the cart with a clawed hand to take one of them.

The raptor then ran headlong into a stalagmite.

As the cart pulled away from the small pack Dipper let out a breath and said, "And I thought they were smarter than that. But that was close!"

"We're not out of the woods yet," Ford warned. "Looks like we are going even deeper into the caves. Making it back out is going to be a pain."

"Head's up! Stop coming," Mabel warned.

Their little rail cart hit a blockade and catapulted them down another tunnel. The Pines and Soos screamed as they rolled down the shaft and then they fell into an unceremonious heap in another room. And once more, they were not alone in the caves.

Right before them were four men. Two of them were workers, with reflective vests and hard hats, loading something into the back of a very large pick-up. Another was man in a very fine suit, observing the whole procedure with a bored, but superior expression. Finally, there was a muscular, towering man in his own crisp suit, wearing sunglasses at the bottom of a cave. Obviously, a bodyguard.

"Trespassers," the pompous looking man shouted, shying away from them. "Quick, Reggie, dispose of them! They will not have the Foundation's prize!"

Reggie strode over and yanked Ford's gun away from him, leveling his own black pistol right into Soos' face.

"Alright, gopher boy-man, you two old farts, and barely passable teens," he growled. "Followed me."

He led them all down another tunnel with both guns now poking them in the back.

"What are you going to do to us," Mabel asked.

"What are you doing down here," Dipper demanded.

"Shut up and keep walking!"

Reggie led the group down a side tunnel until they reached a dead end. He gave them grim smile.

"If it weren't for my sunglasses, that little girl's stickers would definitely blind me. But this is the end of the line for you spies. You won't get your hands on the artifacts!"

Everyone flinched as Reggie was about to pull the triggers, when there was a roar and a quick blur that caught Reggie and hauled him into the darkness of a yet another side tunnel. His guns clattered to the ground.

Dipper mumbled, "Was that a raptor just now?"

"I'm sure they're fine, probably just hugging in the dark, you know?" Mabel ribbed her twin.

"I'm definitely not okay," Reggie screamed from the darkness as the dinosaur squealed with delight.

"It's okay," Mabel called out. "Interracial relationships are a beautiful thing!"

"Mabel, not now," Dipper insisted as Ford and Stan picked up the discarded guns and cleared the corners.

"The others haven't caught up, or this could be from another pack," Ford muttered.

"We need to get to that pick up," Stan said. "Soos, you'll be our driver out of here."

"Yes!" Soos pumped a fist into the air.

They retraced their steps and made it back to where the other men were still at work. Dipper could now see what Reggie had meant by artifacts. Ancient pots and cave paintings were being loaded into the back of the pickup. The Grunkles came out with their weapons raised and called for everyone to halt what they were doing.

"It's so hard to find good work these days," the pompous man sighed. "The Foundation will not let this one slide. We'll come for you. This is our prize. Our great find."

"Can it and get into the back of the truck if you want to live," Ford roared.

"Or not. I think I could live with that," Stan added.

There were more dinosaur noises coming from behind them and the Pines quickly clambered into the truck, with Soos taking the wheel, and the three men diving into the bed of the truck.

As Soos put the pedal to the metal, the suit leaned over the railing of the truck and sneered at the Pines. "Once we get out of here, I'll begin the lawsuit immediately. We'll bury you so thoroughly in injunctions and legal proceedings that you will lose every penny you gained through this theft. These caves are ours!"

Just as he finished saying that, a jagged piece of the cave wall that jutted out, clobbered him in the head, and he fell from the truck.

"And that's why you wear hard hats when at a dig site," Mabel called out to him.

"Soos, just follow this tunnel," Ford instructed. "I have a feeling, it will lead us out of here easily."

There were shouts and cries from the back of the truck, but they caught off quickly. It took a while, but Soos finally brought the truck out of the tunnel and into a spacious cavern. A cavern behind a waterfall.

"Hey, this is where we trapped McGucket's Gobblewonker," Dipper exclaimed.

"Our first, real monster hunt," Mabel said with fondness.

"Think we're safe," Dipper then asked.

"Let's first check," Ford said to his brother.

Grunkle Stan gave a grim nod and the two exited the spacious truck. They walked around and checked the cave. There was no one else. The twins and Soos clambered out and walked around. Dipper spotted a boat with a ramp and enough room for a truck sitting in the small pool beside the waterfall.

"That explains how they got here," he said.

The bad of the truck was splattered with blood, and most the artifacts were shattered.

"Great! Now we'll have to use super glue to make these items sellable," Stan complained. "Though the red stuff does wonders for the appearance. I'll call them the Cursed Vases of the Dino People! And we'll have a whole exhibit dedicated to them! I can see it now."

"Focus Stanley," Ford said impatiently. "Let's load this stuff up and take the boat. I now recognize the logo on this truck, and it doesn't bode us any good."

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1-22-1-9-12-1-2-12-5!


	15. Episode 15 - the Portland Job

"This is a really big problem! A potential disaster," Ford raged.

"Easy there, Sixer, just calm down and explain what is going on. For the kids I mean," Stan added.

"Yeah, Great Uncle Ford, what has you in such wound up tiddely wombus," Mabel asked.

Ford took a deep breath and pointed out the window at the truck they had stolen from the cave. "That vehicle belongs the Bachelors' Association of Mystical Findings Foundation, or BAMFF as they like to call themselves."

"It's almost so wrong," Soos whispered loudly to Dipper.

"They are leeches and scavengers in every sense of the words," Ford continued grumpily. "When I first came to Gravity Falls to conduct my research, they were on the scene trying to plunder the woods and caves of special, ancient artifacts. They too, though that there might be something special about this sleepy town and its surroundings.

"Luckily, Gravity Falls has an old, oddly specific law about studies being conducted within the town's borders. Only one researcher ay come in at a time. So, I quickly registered myself as that lone researcher and got the Foundation driven out of the valley! On a number of occasions I caught them trying to sneak back, but I got the police to escort them out.

"You see, they not only steal special artifacts, but they keep them locked away in their special vaults in Portland. And by the looks of things back, I'd wager that they already stole and transported some things from the cave. Possibly vital clues for who Madladl is and how to defeat him!"

"This is beginning to sound more and more like a heist," Grunkle Stan said greedily. "My old Columbian twitch is flaring up!"

"Where," Mabel asked.

Grunkle Stan pointed to his right eye, and Dipper said, "I thought that was your Cataracts."

"Nah, that's my other eye."

"Stanley, if we are going to break into the Foundation's stronghold, we are going to need a solid plan and a team," Ford insisted.

"Treasure heist! Treasure heist," the twins chanted.

"This is going to be so epic dudes," Soos gushed.

Before Stan could reply, Wendy came in through the door. "Hey ya, guys. I decided it was better coming over here to check on y'all rather than dealing with terrible homework. I'll just save it for the last minute."

Dipper and Mabel laughed, while Ford gave the teenager a stern look. Grunkle Stan's face, however, lit up. He pulled Wendy into a one-armed hug.

"Wendy will be my partner in treasure liberating for this little operation! Ready to skip out on not just homework, but school, little miss!?"

Wendy looked like Christmas had come early, but the others voiced their disagreement.

"How is this girl ever going to achieve her dreams if we encourage her to skip out on school! Besides, we need a full team to break into the Foundation," Ford protested.

"This is a mission for everyone, Grunkle Stan," Dipper declared hotly.

"And you will need your ever reliable handyman, Soos," Soos said, puffing out his chest.

"And I'm just arguing for the sake of arguing," Mabel said triumphantly.

"Look here everyone," Stan said, stomping his foot. "Dipper, you're talking nonsense, Ford, you're talking even more nonsense. Soos, I am my own handyman on these jobs, and Mabel, I have a request for you specifically."

"Really, what is it? Ooooh! Is finding all of the stray cats and getting them dressed for a special show the Shack will be putting on?"

"No, what I need you to do is go and beat up another unicorn. Get that stuff you need to help my brother put up another barrier around the Shack. I have the feeling we'll be needing it as soon as we learn more about this Wadlwadl Whos-its guy. Can you do that for me, sweetie?"

"Beating up unicorns," Mabel cried out. "Are you kidding me? I'll get right on that! Let me just first call up Grenda and Candy!"

Grunkle Stan smiled after her, as she made her way to the phone, and then he turned to Dipper. "Short stuff, I need you and Soos to head over to McGuckets and get some new weapon ideas cooking. We're gonna need all the big guns we can get soon. Ford, you just keep doing you, buddy."

"What do you have in mind Stanley," Ford asked suspiciously.

"Nothing at all," Stan replied with a shrug. "But what I do know was that fighting Bill took everything we had. If this new 'god' is in the same caliber, we should be ready ahead of time to act on whatever you find out from what Wendy and I steal."

"Wait, come again? We're stealing something," Wendy asked, a little uncertain.

"Yeah, we tried learning what we could about Madladl in the caves underneath Gravity Falls, but when we went there, we got attacked by dinosaur and found out that an evil organization is taking stuff out of the caves that might help us leanr who we are up against and how to defeat him," Dipper explained excitedly.

"Pretty sure some people died along the way," Soos said as an afterthought.

"Man, you guys have all the fun," Wendy complained. "I just had to deal with boring English and Mark drooling over me from the bushes."

"Come again," Dipper said.

"It's settled then. Wendy, saddle up! It's time I taught you the ways of the master sheister," Grunkle Stan said happily.

Much later, Stan and Wendy were enjoying a meal at a little pizzeria, the Fat Caesar, and talking over their plans to break into the Foundation's headquarters and find what they had removed from the Falls. Wendy had amazed Stan with her wizardry, mostly her use of using a cellphone, to pull up floor plans on the Foundation's stronghold.

"They really call themselves BAMFF," she had laughed. "Who are these characters?"

"I don't know, but no one steals potential exhibits from the Mystery Shack and gets away with it," Stan had declared.

"Dude, you don't even run the place anymore. You handed it over to Soos," Wendy had then pointed out.

"Don't interrupt my rantings," Stan had then insisted.

Now that they were together, enjoying a wonderfully spicy sausage and pineapple pizza, Stan put his hand over Wendy's phone screen and snapped his fingers to pull her attention to him. Wendy was a bit confused and gave her full attention to Stan.

"Look Wendy, I didn't just ask for you to tag along because you exactly the kind of person I need for this job," Stan said uneasily. "I also need to talk with you about Dipper. I saw what nearly happened between you two in that crazy monsterverse, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. The point is, you two nearly went straight hot and sweaty, making a kid boinking. Now, a half deer-man thing, and half wolf does sound like the stuff of legends, but that is my great nephew, and my former employee, both of whom I don't want to see regretting their lives' impulses later on. What is going on between you two?"

Wendy felt herself blushing, but she put on a straight face and said, "Look Stan, Dipper and I are just friends. We've already had the awkward talk and all that. Yeah, we care about each other, but what you saw was animal instincts taking over and two people kinda losing it after fighting evil clones of your best friend. Anyone would almost make a bad decision in that moment!"

"I see," Stan said, nodding. "In any case, you and Dipper will probably have more to talk about later on. My one word of advice, and this isn't me trying to save face or nothing, be honest."

"Okay," Wendy said, feeling a little confused.

Stan took his hand away from her phone and changed the subject. "Okay, so thanks to the wonders of the interweb, we not only have an address, but we also know the layout of their gaudy mansion. The goods are kept in a vault at the very center of the building on the second floor. And it looks like they have American hawk Security, the second best security in the nation. Easily disturbed with some fenagling."

"So what is the plan, Stan?"

"I do the fenagling, and you crash a big truck right through their front doors! We'll use the one we took from the caves." Though it had pained Stan to be away from his precious vehicle, he had used the BAMFF truck to be sneaky. "They won't know what hit them! I'll be relying on you give us the clean drive away."

"That is a really basic plan," Wendy laughed.

"Trust me, with guys who openly use the second best security system, it'll be a walk in the park."

Later that night, they were driving through the streets of Portland in a stolen truck, police and security vehicles from the Foundation in hot pursuit.

"I thought you said it was going to be walk in the park," Wendy shouted.

"Hey, I did all my fenagling," Stan protested. "How was I to know that they would have dogs and that the stuff they took from Gravity Falls would be so large?"

Weighing down their bed were four massive slabs of stone. After knocking out the dogs with punches and Stan's heist briefcase, it had taken both Stan and Wendy to lift the large artifacts and load them in. Wendy had perfectly smashed her way through the front door and driven up the stair case to bring he truck right to Stan, who had shut off all the alarms from outside. Unfortunately, cellphones were not affected by the aforementioned fenagling.

"I just feel like this could have gone a lot better," Wendy said.

"You and me both," Stan said, giving the four slabs a look over with his eye. "This second one is the least creepy looking of the bunch. That means it's probably worthless to us. If I use to smash the other cars, it'll lighten our load and hopefully get these tails off our backs."

Grunkle Stan climbed out through the window and heaved the second slab over the tail of the truck. Sure enough, a cop car got flattened, and it caused a pile up. Shots rang out, but Stan covered himself. Wendy took a sharp turn into an alleyway, causing more problems for the pursuers. She smashed out the windshield and tossed a fire extinguisher up and over. It crashed into the cab of the lead truck from the Foundation, hitting the driver square in the face and knocking him out. He tiled and the wheel turned, wedging the truck in place.

"Wendy, that was incredible," Stan called out in awe.

"The student surpassed the master long ago," Wendy called back with glee. "And unlike you, I have a real escape plan for this little Portland job."

She turned off her lights and sped down a few unknown roads, putting distance and maze between themselves and the pursuers. She then drove them to a lumberyard outside of the city and met up with one of her cousins. She asked to make sure that the truck was donated for a football rally to be burned and thoroughly destroyed, thereby erasing all criminal evidence. Her cousins obliged, and they helped load the three remaining artifacts onto a truck bound for the woods just passed Gravity Falls.

"Wow Wendy, no wonder Dipper has a crush on you," Stan said. "You make a sixty something year old man feel young again."

"I tend to have that effect," she said, simply. "Tell me more about it later."

And together, they caught a ride back to Gravity Falls as the sun rose on a confused city.

DOHA KLUVFK FRXOG KDYH ZULWWHQ WKLV SXFK EHWWHU


	16. Episode 16 - A Crash to the Past

"I can't believe you guys managed to retrieve these," Ford continue to gush, as he poured over the stone tablets back at the Shack. "I'm really impressed! How did you two pull it off?"

"Trust me, bro, it would take like, a serious, action packed twenty two minutes to give you all the details," Stan said proudly.

"A full half hour with breaks," Wendy added.

"But the world may never know," Mabel said. "Oooh, these look like kittens!"

She bent in to wipe away some of the grime on one of the slabs to get a better look. Ford slapped her hand away.

"Be careful Mabel! Those these are probably just ancient records, we can't be too careful! You never know what could be hidden in these old things," Ford warned. "I just need some time to translate these things properly."

Mabel pouted and walked a little ways off, throwing furtive glances at the potential kitten son the stone. Dipper meanwhile walked around and took notes of his own. Soos was off to the side making bad recreations of the slabs with paint. He said he would make copies and sell them at the Shack as keepsakes.

"Melony says I should pursue my passions," Soos explained to everyone. :And I discovered my passion of one day becoming an artist!"

"That looks like a potatoes giving borth to a demon rainbow," Stan said flatly.

"A rainbow! Let me see," Mabel shouted. "Soos! You are gifted. At this rate, you are the world's most perfect man!"

"What can I say," Soos replied happily as doves flew in and landed on his shoulders.

"Did someone leave a window open," Stan asked.

"Dude, what are you all scribbling there," Wendy asked Dipper. "I haven't seen you this focused in a long time."

Dipper had to resist gnawing the end of his pen (too many of them had exploded in his mouth by doing that) and told her, "There's just been a lot of things I've been thinking about regarding Madladl. We know he's ancient and that he can open up portals. Ford once told me about the spaceship under the valley-"

"Come again," Wendy interrupted.

"Long story," Dipper said, waving his notepad. "Though you and I should check it out later."

"You'll do no such thing without me being there," Ford called out, his nose still rubbing the stone as he inspected it.

"Later," Dipper whispered, and he and Wendy and nodded to each other, grinning mischievously. "But I was saying is that Ford wondered if it came because of Gravity Fall's magnetism to all things weird, or if the crash is what caused it. Well, if Madladl is an ancient deity of this region, that means he is directly connected to the ship in some way!"

"That is an interesting theory," Ford mused. "However, we cannot rule out other possibilities. Short of going back that far into the past, we have no way of referencing what really did happen, which is why these stone tablets are so important. Deciphering what they say will give us a rare and much needed look into the past and hopefully into Madladl.

"Now, I know my translating skills are bit rusty, and my studies were mostly in science instead of anthropology, but take enough electives in college, and you'll learn more than you ever thought you could! I am certain that these glyphs and paintings refer to three siblings. Their position over everyone definitely makes them rulers, and it quite possible to think of them as gods. But none of them look like Madladl… Hmm."

"What do you know, they are kittens," Mabel said happily. "See, let me just clean them off properly and you'll see what I mean. What do you think they could mean, Grunkle Ford?'

"Mabel, what are ou doing," Ford shouted in dismay as the other stone slab Mabel was polishing began to glow.

Dipper and Stan leaped for her and tried to pull her away as golden light burst from the slab and tried to envelope Mabel. All three of them got caught up in the light and with a brilliant flash, they all vanished.

"Sweet! I managed to capture that perfectly," Soos said from behind his easel.

Ford and Wendy threw him dirty looks, before scrambling to the stone slab to see what they could do.

"Maybe they're stuck inside? Should we break them out," Wendy suggested.

"I fear that may cause more harm than good," Ford muttered. "Mabel cleaned up the dirt well enough for me to decode these glyphs. Hmm, muses of the past… To know is to live… Uh oh. I think I know what is about to happen to them."

"Hey, that is a pretty good likeness of them," Wendy said, glancing at Soos' painting.

Meanwhile, Dipper, Mabel, and Grunkle Stan were dragged through a tunnel of swirling colors toward a bright light.

"This is not the way I thought I was going to die," Stan mumbled.

"Mabel? Why did you touch that? 

"I'm sorry Dipper! It was _kitten_ s," Mabel cried. "Gah! Death is upon us!"

They all braced themselves and screamed as they hit the light. But instead of dying, they found themselves floating through space.

"Ugh, here again, are we? Do we have to have another epic, confusing fight," Stan asked grumpily.

"No," sang three beautiful voices. "You do not have to fight, though you could. You have come this way to observe!"

Three cats made of glowing, beautiful stardust appeared before them in all their towering majesty.

"Big kitties," Mabel said weakly.

The three cats continued to sing, "We have seen your struggles and we will provide the glimpses and experiences you need. You wish to know the truth of the one you know as Madladl. He was not always so. But beware, seeing the past, living it, knowing it, has been made perilous! With the conflux and distortion in Time that was created with the destruction of the Time Giant race, and with Bill Cipher's interference, causing a permanent time loop, time here cannot heal in the way it should. Not even the attack on the Towers will have any effect, this correction must come from the Origin."

The Pines exchanged lost looks with each other. There was a flash from the central cat, and for a brief moment, they saw a young man's scruffy face, happy and smudged as he wrote wild stories. They saw the Time Giant race. A flashback to when Bill Cipher attacked Time baby and Paradox Removal Squad. They then saw a brief glimpse of a strange plane, with seven towers, and armies descended upon them.

"What was that," Dipper gasped as the vision ended.

"Time," the cats said simply. "It is many things all rolled into one. It is not just the passing of what you call seconds. Time is always more. As such, it is dangerous. Once, when the Time Giants regulated this existence's time, it was safe to travel time's glorious roads, but with their powers and technology gone, only we observers can pluck your from one line and momentarily take you to another. Until the loop comes full cycle once again, and the events that have already transpired will occur once more!"

"Yeesh! Getting a philosophy class from a trio of disembodied cats," Stan said. "Mabel, you need to learn that no means no, and to keep your hands to yourself!"

"But they're cats," Mabel protested.

"We shall take you back to see the origins of him you call Madladl," the cats said together. "You each shall be granted a wish that will allow you to survive and learn through the experience. Make your selection."

"kay guys, we have to be smart about this," Dipper told them. "If we each get one thing, we'll have to make it count."

"Magical knitting needles," Mabel cried out, and they appeared in her hands with a puff of stardust.

"Okay, that is not being smart," Dipper groaned.

"To kill something with one punch," Stan said with a grim smile. "I'll fix this all in the past! If time is a weird mumbo jumble something that anything can happen in, then why not save us all the time and kill Madladl already."

"That- That's brilliant," Dipper gushed. "Grunkle Stan, if you can do that, then we could fix everything that has happened so far! Everyone who died, we could reverse it."

"That's using the old noodle," Mabel said with a grin.

"What did you say about me getting old?"

"You desire to have one punch that will indefinitely kill has been granted," the cats sang.

"Then that makes it easy for me, I really want to learn, so I will have one question that will get answered, no matter what it is," Dipper said breathlessly.

"It is done," the cats meowed.

There was another brilliant flash of light and the Pines found themselves standing in the forest of Gravity Falls, near a clearing. Nearby, natives were working in their small village. It looked pretty peaceful. That was until a man who looked like the village shaman came sprinting out of his tent and started yelling. He was gesturing to his head and to the sky. His eyes began glowing blue.

"No! Dipper shouted. "I've read what Ford wrote about the people who once lived in Gravity Falls, and how they probably encountered Bill. And Mabel, remember what the gnomes and forest creatures said about a beast who had come and manipulated the Falls, changing everything? I think that was Bill, and I think we are seeing the day it all happened!"

"Does this mean I get to punch Bill again," Stan asked happily.

"I think we should wait and see," Dipper suggested.

"Here, I'm making us camouflage," Mabel said. The other two turned to see her knitting needles creating camo sweaters out of thi air. "Best magic wish fulfillment ever!"

A hole opened in the sky and Bill's laughter was heard. The villagers began freaking out and running around. Three shadows appeared in the mountains and started stretching over to the people. Beams of blue light started touching down all over the forest. Trees were warped by the light. Animals became monsters. Adolph Hitler walked out of one of the beams.

"Es hat geklappt! Mein Plan ist perfekt! Mein Pakt mit dem Tuefel hat funkioniert, und jetzt werde ich die Vergangenheit mit seiner Hilfe ergreifen und mein eiwges Reich hier mit der Magi der Verrúcktheit grúnden! Ich werde Alles úberleben!"

Stan rushed forward and punched Hitler, causing the Nazi leader to splatter all over the forest floor and trees. Stan's fist was smoking, and he blew it off, like a gun he had just shot.

"And that's how you punch," he croaked.

"Grunkle Stan! That punch was meant for Bill or Madladl," Dipper fretted. "Why did you waste it?"

"Well, I've already punched Bill to death before, so I can take that off the bucket list," Stan said, ticking down a finger. "Also, given the choice between killing scumbag Hitler or a deranged god, who would you get rid of? I mean, the answer should be obviously, especially to an egghead like yourself, Dipper. I am surprised!"

"Guys, quick put on your sweaters," mabel said, throwing them the camo. "Something is about to happen!"

They all put on the sweaters and ducked for cover. The three shadows converged on the village and rose up. Three magnificent beings came out of them. One was a tall, dark man with a stone head set like snarling lion. His eyes glowed yellow and he held a staff. Next to him was a gorgeous woman wreathed in flowers and colorful feathers. Otherwise, she wasn't wearing much. The third figure was shorter, with long hair, but was obviously masculine. He was covered in paint, as if he had been using himself as a canvas.

They rose up toc lose the rift. Blue flames started licking them, and Bill's voice came to taunt them. "I'm not even breaking out of my own dimension yet, and you can still barely hold me off! Some gods! Ha, did you not realize how fast your own people turned away from you all for the promise of a little knowledge and power! Ha! As if they could have even used what I shared with them!"

The natives all started bolting for cover, running towards the falls and the caves.

"It now makes sense," Dipper breathed. "This is the moment!"

The rift started sealing, but the three gods were all injured from the blue flames, and Bill continued to laugh. "A way has been opened, and I am drawn to this place. This is where I will break free! I will have the earth and that entire dimension for my own! I will escape, and the party will forever continue until all worlds and timelines have been claimed. For eternity!"

"Brother, we cannot hold him off! I have sen it! He will defeat us," the youngest looking god exclaimed.

"Don't give in," the woman said. "He is showing us these things to break our resolve!"

"Yes, we must save those who worship us. We cannot abandon them," the oldest god said. "Be strong brother!"

"No! We cannot be! At least not as we are now! I am sorry," the youngest one said.

He plunged his hands into the others' chest and ripped out their hearts. He then consumed them. As the other two burned to ash and disappeared, the thrd's pain started glowing and swirling all over his body. He began to morph and grow. But the rift closed above and one last shot of blue light hit the god. He was thrown to the ground and transformed.

The god sprouted another pair arms, became entirely black, and more birdlike. His eyes turned red and deranged and he reached up clawed hands to the sky. He croaked with a powerful voice, "No, this cannot be it! I consumed their power! Why is this happening?"

The beast became a shaow and was dispersed, taking no more form. The Pines were left alone in a smoking and twisted forest, Adloph a blood pool nearby. Stan, Mabel, and Dipper just gaped at what they had seen. It had all happned so fast, and they had been unable to do anything about it. Dipper wondered if Stan's wish would have even helped them in that moment. But he still had his own.

To no one in particular he asked, "How do we defeat Madladl?"

There was flash and they stood before the cats in space again. They purred and answered, "The god that became Madladl is made of two twisted powers. One your great uncle has already defeated."

"Bill," Dipper breathed.

"The other is the power of his siblings, whom he consumed to save himself. He desires to finish the process of what he was becoming, a super god. In order to complete that transition, he must perform one last ritual. He will reveal himself on the night when the saints and monsters are at their strongest, when the magical realm and the physical touch all over your world. He will perform the ritual, but he exposes himself, and all his weaknesses. An impeded ritual will weaken him once more to a shadow, to never rise again."

"That's clearer than mud," Stan said.

"You got that right," Mabel added. "When do the realms of magical stuff ever collide with our own outside of Gravity Falls?"

"I don't know, but I bet Ford does," Dipper said.

"Our work s done," the cats sang. "It is time to go."

With one more blinding flash, the Pines found themselves sitting in the Shack's living room, looking at the stone slabs.

"They're back," Wendy cried, pulling Dipper and Mabel into a hug.

"Destroy it," Soos shouted, picking up the stone with the cat inscriptions and shattering it on the ground.

"What happened," Ford asked urgently. "What did you see?"

"Pull up a chair, Sixer, because this might take more than a thity minute special to fully explain. I'm still trying to process it myself. At least you can all thank me now and give me a metal for killing Hitler! Ha!"


	17. Episode 17 - Through Dark Eyes

Madladl was not at all happy with how things were turning out. True, he was gaining power daily, and through the rift left behind by the being called the Tscheapwhetzar he had an even wider vision of the universe than ever before. All new possibilities lay open to him. However, they were all blocked by the despicable Pines family and their allies!

He had tried getting rid of them, and though his trap of pushing them into the Realms and killing them in an alternate world had provided him with a lot of power, they had escaped him at every turn! Now, through his eyes in the forest he saw that the girl Mabel was frightening the unicorns into giving her more hair for the protection of the Mystery Shack. He would not be able to touch them now. His own allies in the valley consisted of just one teenager with a bloodline reaching back to the old priests who once served him.

Mark Epstine was a pitiful servant. He was completely obsessed with the girl Wendy. Sure, that made his easily to manipulate, but his focus was too short sighted. And he was a weak vessel for so great power, and a poor herald at that. The creatures of the forest feared his touch. The spaceship underneath the valley floor still remained inaccessible to him. He did not understand it, though he sent his shadow that way often. He hoped that by peering into the Realms, he could learn more about it.

Sadly, the _Aliens_ series was going downhill, and the movie Prometheus offered more questioned than it answered. But he spotted definite correlations between them and the downed spacecraft. He now realized he should have held the shapeshifter in reserve for later. But that could not be helped anymore. He had to push onwards.

And he had to be swift in sure in doing that! The meddlesome Pines had searched out the tunnels underneath the valley and had discovered possible clues leading to his past. He did not want them to see and understand his shame. That was also the clue to how he could be defeated once and for all. He needed to make sure that Mark performed his role exactly.

 _At least my shaman's unhealthy ogling after the wench Wendy will play nicely into my plans. I will need that misguided lust and infatuation to make this spell work. And when it does, I will be unstoppable. The Pines will know real terror and death on that day_ , Madladl thought with exuberance.

 _Now, if only I could figure out what that dratted family is up to. The girl, Wendy, went with one of the older twins. What lead are they following?_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After Stan had made a two-hour ordeal out of telling a thirty-minute special on how he and the twins had gone back in time, killed Adolph Hitler, got magical knitting needles, spoke to cosmic cats, and saw one god eat two others and then get banished by Bill. Ford was fascinated with the whole tale and he took careful notes throughout the entire cascade of information.

"Everyone, I think I have some answers in regards to what you witnessed," he informed them happily. "We'll need to go down to my old laboratory."

Grunkle Stan got himself a snack before punching in the code that opened the stairwell down to the abandoned lab under the shack. As they went down, everyone felt a tingle of spookiness and excitement. Ford's sudden exclamation made everything feel like it was coming to a head.

"You see, when I was doing my research here and I was exploring the tunnels, there were a lot of interesting murals and inscriptions. However, I only recorded ones that I felt pertained to the weirdness that makes up Gravity Falls. I still made some notes of translations and stories of interest I came across. When you three said that you saw one god devouring two others before Bill showed, I had a 'Huzzah!' moment and remembered something."

"Can't you tell us it now? The suspense is killing me," Mabel cried out.

"Ah, but it is much better to show you, I think," Ford replied happily.

They got to the control area, where the portal Ford and McGucket had once worked on, could be operated from a safe distance. There was writing desk with a number of books crammed into it. Ford pulled out a couple and then withdrew a wrinkled notebook.

"Hey, I once used the pages of that thing to blow my nose. That was a wicked cold," Stan said.

"Yes, and there was caked on snot on some of the remaining pages, too," Ford said grumpily.

"Like I said, a really bad cold!"

"Ewwwww," the twins and Soos exclaimed.

"Thankfully, however, the page I am looking for should be safe and intact. It was sort of near the back, so even my grabby brother would have missed those pages," Ford smirked. After flipping gingerly through the faded notes, he informed them, "Here it is! Ah yes, that was a strange painting I found. I did a small sketch of it here."

He showed it to them. The image depicted a torn sky and people fleeing. Three long shadows were pulled into the gaping mouth of a third. Dipper felt goosebumps looking at it.

"Yup. That's kinda what we saw," He told his Grunkle.

"I thought as much. I discounted this painting because I thought it was just a random legend. I never saw any other reference to it, unlike what I was able to find of Bill, and the other strange phenomena around the town. But still it caught my interest. It spoke of three powerful siblings, and I guess we can now identify them as some kind of deities. But one desired greater power for a great fight, and he devoured them. He gained a new, dark strength, but it availed him nothing against his great opponent.

"At the time, I could discover nothing further about who it was that this entity fought, or who he himself even was. But, because you said that you wanted to know about Madladl, we know it is him. We also know that this story is somewhat inaccurate. He did not gain all of the powers he had wanted. The cosmic entities-"

"Cat. You mean cats," Mabel corrected him happily.

"Yes. Erm… Cosmc Cats. They told you that Madladl was forged of two powers. Bill had an influence on him, and then his eating his siblings. We can assume that the influence from Bill is gone, because we defeated him. It's rather annoying to think that by saving the world we caused this problem."

"But what do we do about it now? We had different ways of dealing with Bill during the summer, but we know like next to nothing about this Madladl dude. Except that he really doesn't like you dawgs," Soos put in.

"We know that he needs a final ritual," Ford said, holding up a finger. "'He will reveal himself on the night when the saints and monsters are at their strongest, when the magical realm and the physical touch all over your world.' That is an essential and telling clue. You see, that little riddle is an easy one for someone like me is able to solve."

"So cool," Dipper gushed.

"Such a showoff," Grunkle Stan grumbled.

"What's the answer to the Cosmic Cats' riddle, Great Uncle Ford," Mabel asked.

"The answer to that special night is Halloween," Ford declared dramatically. "The night when the lines between realms blur and the dead can walk the earth among the living!"

"Well, we've already dealt with the plenty of ghosts," Dipper said proudly.

"Yeah, you got that right," Wendy said with a wink. She then sealed her lips, but Dipper blushed a little, and pulled his cap down.

The others missed the exchange as Ford said, "We shouldn't be dealing with ghosts so much as the atmosphere of that special night. With mystical worlds merging, it is the perfect night to cast a spell or perform a ritual that needs a lot of power. We just need to discover what Madladl has in mind."

"But man, you've said it yourself, we know next to nothing about Madladl," Wendy pointed out.

"That was the case, but with everything Dipper, Mabel, and Stanley saw I can make some very good educated guesses. He was a younger sibling to two other gods. In native cultures, the goddess would represent fertility, both in crop cultivation and child bearing."

Wendy tugged at the collar of her shirt.

"The other god would have represented leadership, warriorhood, and most likely the weather. With leadership and life covered, the other gods in most religious organizations and sects represent the nuances of people's personalities and aspects of their lives. If I were to make a suggestion, Madladl represents wither rage or trickery. Seeing as how 'mad' is in his name, either is strong possibility."

"All of this guesswork has my ears itching. And other unmentionable places, too," Stan quipped. "I wouldn't bet on such long odds. Even if you are using that big brain of your to correctly guess what Madladl is or represents or whatever, how does that help us?"

"He needs a ritual to gain his full powers," Ford reminded them. "And on Halloween, depending on what element he represents, that is what kind of magical spell or nonsense we will have to deal with. Now, because we don't know exactly what it is we are going up against, we'll have to be extra cautious and be doubly prepared!"

"Oh boy! I can't wait to see what kind of gun-sword Old Man McGucket made for me," Soos cried out happily. He bent low and said to Dipper and Mabel, "He promised that me that for the next apocalypse, he'd have a gun-sword since we weren't able to make one in time to fight Bill!"

"Exactly! Fiddleford will be crucial in helping us nab up Madladl and stop whatever it is he's planning," Ford said fiercely. "We just need to calibrate our finding devices for insanity and trickery, and make sure that we factor Stanley into the equation."

"Guilty as charged," Stan laughed.

"Dudes! This will be a legit Halloween! So much better than the stupid dance the school is putting on," Wendy said, pumping her fist in the air.

"But dances are where you find romance," Mabel protested.

"Screw romance, we have a god to stop," Wendy insisted.

"And what about Trick-or-Treating? Priorities people!"

"Mabel," Dipper said exasperatedly. "How can candy trump Madladl?"

"C-A-N-D-Y," Mabel stressed. "Candy, Dipper! Trick-or-Treating! We can't just end of the note of Summerween!"

"But I thought we were cool after that," Dipper asked.

"We are, but this is Halloween!"

"We'll have to cover Gravity Falls to find the ritual," Ford said. "So I don't see why we cannot combine some Halloween festivities with god-hunting."

"Boom! You just blew my mind dude," Soos said dramatically.

"And I hope to again, so long as I don't literally blow up your mind," Ford laughed. "Come on! Let's get up to the mansion and talk to Fiddleford."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mark was shut in his room, with all of the lights off except for a desk lamp, under which there was a map of the high school. A shadow in the form of a clawed hand stretched across the map and pointed at the gym.

"This will be the spot. This is where the ritual will be performed," Madladl said quietly. "The stone slabs are littered throughout the forest, but I will locate them and make sure they are brought to the school. From there, you just have to convince your student council and their little helpers that they will be props for the dance. I will arrange them properly once we have everything in place. I just need people to not be suspicious of what is going on."

"I'll see to it! I also made sure to draw up and print the new invitations for the dance, just like you instructed me," Mark said. "I have to admit, they are getting even myself hyped for a dance that most people think is lame."

"That is the whole point my shaman. I need them all there so that the ritual will be complete."

"And Wendy?"

"If we can get her little gaggle of friends to go to the dance, she will follow. Like you, she is young, and needs her friends' encouragement and proximity to feel satisfied," Madladl said smoothly.

"I don't think I've ever seen her that way," Mark mumbled. "She's always been so headstrong, independent, alluring."

"Which is what you want to see," Madladl replied. "Yes, Wendy is a special girl, but she is not the way you see her! Not yet at any rate. And that is what this ritual is for."

Mark could feel the god smiling somewhere in the room. It got him smiling too. Halloween could not come soon enough. For when it did, Wendy would finally be his!

ZLWK VLJKW WKH UHDOPU AUH ODLG EDUH, D YLROHW HBH ZDWFKHV WKURXJK D JDWH,

ZKLOH GDUN HBHV ZDWFK ZBQGB IDFU, DQG PDQB VWRULHV UXVK WR WKHLU IAWH.


	18. Episode 18 - O Gravity

"I'm get the heebie jeebies with all this weirdness hooten-nanny," McGucket said adamantly. "I'm tellin' ya, this is going to way different than when Bill and his cronies made it into the Falls! I've been doin' my own calobratin' and figuring based on the number y'all brought to me, Stanford, something is different about this Madladl feller. I'd say with the whole situation!"

"You're right, this is very different, but I have hopes that it will not be as bad as when Cipher broke into our dimension," Ford said sternly.

He and McGucket walked down the halls of the Northwest manor, making their way to Fiddleford's tinkering room, where his best machines were being made. Soos and the kids were already there, checking out the new weapons and gizmos they could expect to use on Madladl when the time came to crash his little ritual on Halloween.

For continued, "He's weak because he was unable to complete whatever ritual he began. And it will likely be something elaborate. All we have to do is find it and stop him before he gets too far with his plans. With your extra firepower my friend, we stand more than a fair chance."

McGucket smiled and said, "That is a kind and encouraging word to be sure, I reckon. But that is not what I'm all on about. I've been measurin' the signatures and colors y'all collected from your time with the portal, comparing them to the numbers of weirdness and vibrations moving through the Earth's crust.

"Yer equation and measurements for weirdness indicate that we've barely seen any surge in strange things happening at all. It's basically the same amount, maybe just a little more pronounced than usual, if ya get my drift. What is strange though is that it looks like the whole honkin' valley is shaking with a strange energy, the same kind o' energy that connected y'all with the portals. It's something that don't measure up with either Bill Cipher or Madladl. And I fear that the god might be tapping into this unknown source of power!"

Ford scratched his chin and contemplated what his friend had just said. "That is an unknown factor that I have not been able to place in all of this. And there was something about our experience in the portal… I can't entirely remember it. But there was something that makes me think there are other parties involved as well."

"Bill Cipher?"

"I don; think so, at least not directly. He should be dead, but if he is alive, he could be involved. I just don't want to put my family, and especially Stanley through that unpleasantness unless we have more information. But right now, our main priority should be Madladl. Stopping him is paramount! And with his defeat we might get more answers," Ford maintained.

Fiddleford led them into his invention workshop, where Dipper and Soos were positively drooling over a giant mech suit with a prototype gun-sword. Mabel was messing around with a zero gravity chamber, shouting about flying and the cool poses she was striking. McGucket chuckled at their energy and enthusiasm.

"It does the ol' ticker good to see youngsters excited about science!"

"Better yet if they understood all of the science behind your mad science, old friend," Ford laughed.

McGucket called the others over to him and started showing them what he was cooking up in preparation for Halloween. The twins and Soos gushed and awed over the devices and goodies the crazed inventor had made. There was the interdimensional pocket cauldron, a trick-or-treating container with a sweet trick of its own. (Just flip the switch to either store a lifetime's supply o' candy, or suck yer enemies into a blackhole! Hahaha!) There was the nighty-night chews. (Just one bite of these suckers and it's lights out! On the plus side, it tastes like caramel.) Stun flashlights, which used the beam of light to transmit a stunning shock onto the enemies they discovered in the dark. (I heard tell of some cops that have these lights that make ya sick! So I thought I'd one up 'em!) And then there were the Every Face Masks. (These little beauties are really something! All ya got to do is take three seconds of looking at somebody, and you can disguise yerself as 'em! And if you can get some of their voice recorded, you can sound like 'em too!)

"Fiddleford, you have outdone yourself," Ford said happily, clapping his friend on the back.

"These are so awesome! I feel like we've just stepped into an 80s horror film, but actually cool," Dipper said excitedly.

"Dude, these are so legit," Soos squealed. "Seriously dawgs, this is going to be hands down the best Halloween ever! Never mind saving the world from a mad god, check this out!"

He quickly put on a mask and in a few second had turned himself into Ford, then McGucket, and then Dipper. Though he retained his own voice as he laughed, because he had not yet recorded a sample of their voices. Hearing Soos' voice come out of Dipper's mouth got everyone rolling.

Mabel got a hold of herself and said, "This is going to be incredible! And thank you so much! But Dipper and I will not need the masks."

"What!? Why not," Dipper asked frantically.

"Because I already have the perfect costume idea for us in mind," Mabel said simply. "Combine my amazing costume skills with these items from McGucket, we will be unstoppable Dipper! Even more so than that cartoon duo Kim Probable and Trip Able."

"Isn't that that one show with tons of adventure potential that turned into a shipping war," Dipper asked.

"Bingo!"

"A show about shipping goods," Ford aid, confused. "Mabel, be reasonable. We are going up against a god! We need everything that we can get!"

"Which is why I need you to trust in my costume making skills. Come on Dipper, you know that I wouldn't let us down!"

Dipper sighed and said, "Alright, I do trust you, but I am taking the mask along just in case."

"Fine," Mabel said, throwing her hands up.

"Yo, McGucket," Soos called out. "How far along in the new commission? I can't wait to pilot my own robot into battle!"

"Well, there are some kinks I gotta work out in her," Fiddleford replied. "But if you give me a little bit I'll see wh-"

There was a crashing sound behind them, causing everyone to whirl about. Three burly men in crisp, brown and green uniforms, with wide brimmed hats, tumbled into the workshop. They pointed at the Pines, Soos, and McGucket.

"Targets acquired, boys! Let's take them!"

They rushed at them and Mabel quickly angled the interdimensional pocket cauldron at one of them and flipped the switch. The guy was sucked screaming into some other dimensional blackhole.

"Maybe I should mention that it shouldn't be used on people," McGucket shouted. "I have no idea what it will do to human flesh!"

"Ew," Mabel said, at Ford flipped the lead man over his shoulder.

The man crashed face first into a table and was knocked out. The last man tackled Soos and they rolled into the gun-sword prototype. Soos slapped and the man and managed to get him off. The man jumped back and steadied himself against the gun. The weapon made a charging up sound.

"Oh, that ain't good! It's getting' ready to fire!"

"Fiddleford! You left a gun loaded with company coming? Do you not know gun etiquette!"

"I think that left when I had my mind erased," the inventor laughed weakly.

"Pelt him with sleeping candy," Mabel shouted.

She and Dipper threw handfuls of the knockout sweets at the man. He growled and put up his hand, backing away to put some distance between himself and the twins. Soos also got up shakily and rested his hand on the weapon. It discharged, and a bright beam of blue energy erupted from it, consuming the third man. All that was left afterwards were two smoking boots.

"I did nothing," Soos declared, holding up both hands.

"Guys, I think we should bury this guy out back and pretend this never happened," Dipper said.

"I agree," Mabel cheered, holding up a hand.

"No, we need to know what is going on here," Ford insisted, slapping the remaining man awake.

"Hold yer stampedin' horses," McGucket said. "I reckonize this here uniform now! It comes from a band of fellers within the town who police the place for people who break the Never Mind All That Law, and other such weirdness."

"That's been a thing this whole time," Mabel asked angrily.

"They are an odd group," McGucket said with a shrug.

"Who are you," Ford demanded as the man started waking up. "Why did you attack us just now?"

"My code name is 4-D," the man hissed. "Do you know what that means?"

"Yes, that you are three away from the big time," Mabel laughed.

Dipper spoke up, "Actually, considering that there are 26 letters and three numbers before the big time, then he is actually over 78 away from the big time. Eighty-"

"Dipper, you've ruined the joke," Mabel grumbled.

"It's no joke what is going around here! Something big is going down," 4-D spat. "The Pines return out of nowhere. A dragon sighted in the mountains."

"Oh yeah, we shouldn't forget about Conrad," Dipper remembered.

The uniformed man pressed on, "Preston Northwest suddenly coming into big money. A portal in the middle of town! Strange shadows popping up all pver the place! And the last straw, a high school dance that looks genuinely cool!"

Mabel and Dipper shared a look. Finally, Mabel asked, "How can a high school dance not be cool?"

"You are obviously too young to know the horror that is high school," the man replied.

"We're thirteen. Technically teenagers," Dipper reminded everyone.

"Whatever," the man snapped. "The point is, a lot of bad things are going on, and it all comes back to your family. Care to explain while I take you into custody?"

"You are not taking us anywhere," Ford snarled. "And for your information, we came back here to stop whatever is going on. My great niece and nephew were nearly killed by a deranged god from this area calling himself Madladl! And if you want to make yourself useful, then you will tell us what you know!"

The man looked surprised and then said, "I already did. I am taking you in so that we can hopefully learn more."

"Then we are all wasting our time here. Get out now, before I toss you into a pocket dimensional blackhole!"

"But what about my job?"

"Out," Ford roared.

"Fine," the man sniveled, picking up some discarded candy. He popped one into his mouth, and crashed, fast asleep.

Everyone slapped their faces, and Soos, said, "Well, we know it definitely works, now!"

"This is utterly ridiculous, these moutie wanna-be's just come charging in and stirring up even more problems! If I didn't know any better I would say this was a hoax. But we are in Gravity falls, after all," Ford said tersely.

"Them boys are quite strange," McGucket agreed. "They ride about all important like in the woods, and barely come out to do anything important or significant. Which is why I never thought one, let alone three, would come here!"

"But wait guys, there is something important here," Dipper suddenly said. "He mentioned the high school dance. While that does sound silly, everything else he said was correct. Those things were all weird. Maybe he was onto something."

Mabel fished into the guy's pockets, and then pulled out a crumpled invitation to the dance. It was filled with images of spooky specters overwhelming screaming students dancing boogey to some music.

"That does look really cool," Mabel sighed. "I know Wendy said she didn't want to go, but this does look tempting!"

"I think that dance might just be a place we really have to focus on," Dipper said. "We'll want to still make sure we sweep the whole town, still."

"Well, I can jimmy together a kind of radar for all things weird," McGucket suggested. "Granted, it will pick up a lot, but f we are looking for something apocalypse size, it will easy register from everything else."

"That's an excellent idea," Ford said happily."Fiddleford, you can relay your findings to us and we'll search the town. Once we've pinpointed the site for the ritual, we'll close in and stop it!"

"And then it will be Robo-Guardian Soos to the rescue," Soos cheered. "So let's get that robot working!"

"First thing's first, Soos," Dipper said. "We should probably put this guy somewhere. Like Preston's closet."

"Dipper, I get the feeling that this was meant to be something grander," Mabel said, kicking the guy in the shins. "But in the end, this felt kind of… Meh."

"It's the universe's way of being ironic, Mabel," Ford said. "You need an anticlimactic breath before the plunge into chaos. Otherwise, you never get a breather."

3-1-14-1-4-9-1-14 2-1-3-15-14 9-19 1 7-18-5-1-20 13-15-22-9-5


	19. Episode 19 - Halloween Night

Halloween was like Christmas, in Mabel's opinion, just creepier, filled with more costumes, and with a greater variety of candy. The latter two was everything she could ever want! The first part? Well, she had had more than enough of that to last a lifetime, but who didn't need at least one night to do something ghoulish and fiendish? But for this night, it was a time to be heroic!

"So much for this summer being our last trick-or-treat," Dipper said wistfully.

"Stop your complaining, grousser supreme," Mabel cried out in her twin's ear. "That was our last Summerween, and technically first Summerween, as kids. But we'll make this our last Halloween!"

"Considering the stakes, that might not the best thing to say," Dipper replied with a laugh.

"Okay, I'll give you that," Mabel conceded.

She and Dipper were both wearing the costumes she had made with her special pair of knitting needles from the Cosmic Cats. She was super excited to go out and collect candy! And also help save the world again, and all that. But after having done that a number of times, the novelty was kind of wearing off. At least the adventures were still good!

Mabel and Dipper were going about as the Mystery Twins this Halloween! When she had told Dipper of her idea, he had cocked an eyebrow and asked if that meant they were going as themselves. She had laughed, called him silly, and told him to be patient as she went about her masterpiece. It was a little of everything from their adventures together in gravity Falls. Dipper wore a long coat that had a magnifying glass in the pocket, with patches on his sleeves for all the mysteries he had solved and all the monsters he had bested: ghosts, vampire bats, Manotaurs, and Gideon to name a few. It was all tailored to be reminiscent of Sherlock Holmes' apparel with an dash of Ford roguishness thrown in.

As for herself, Mabel wore a mesh of Western getup, cyberpunk fixtures, a very loud fantasy shirt with all her favorite characters bursting from her chest, and Ducktective's hat to cap it all off. Sure, their costumes did not match the way they had in the past, but there was significance to them, and it embodied the great inside joke between them of who they were: twins on an amazing adventure.

She caught Dipper looking himself over in the mirror, clearly impressed. Wait until he saw what else she had woven into the fabric of her creations! Mabel might have been a really silly girl, that was just the way she liked it, but she was not stupid. This Halloween, they were not just gathering candy, but they were also going hunting after a monster called Madladl. He had tried killing them a couple of times already, and tonight he would try to come again to full power. They could not allow that to happen. Mabel had made sure that she and her brother were ready!

Armed with their costumes and the trinkets given to them by McGucket, they were ready to venture off into the night. Wendy had not yet arrived. Soos would be accompanying them as would Stan and Ford. They hoped to meet up with the redhead as they traveled through the town, seeking for Madladl. Melony and Soos' grandmother would continue to watch the Mystery Shack, protected by the barriers Ford had put into place. They were set and ready.

"Ready to venture out into the unknown," Mabel asked her brother.

"I was born ready!"

"Sorry, Dipper, but that line has been used way to often," she informed him.

"Come on! Can't I just say it this once and get away with it? I feel so cool and pumped right now!"

"That's the spirit," Ford said, walking up the hallway to the door. "We should get going soon. Hopefully we will meet Wendy out there. We'll need all the eyes we can get on this place to find Madladl."

"And when we do, BOOSH!" Soos looked ecstatic to be out this Halloween night. He held up his right wrist, where a silver bracelet glistened. "McGucket made this just for me! If we get into trouble, I can call the mech suit right to me, and it will conform to my body!"

"Sorry Soos, but I don't think you need another fat suit," Stan grumbled as he joined them. "Come on, we're burning night light! We need to get going if we are gojng to put a stop to this whole mess before it gets further out of hand!"

"Look at you being the responsible one," Ford scoffed.

"Look at me being the one who doesn't want to die! I've already had too many close shaves to entertain another. Though I suppose doing this counts as another close shave," Grunkle Stan muttered.

"Most definitely," Mabel agreed. "So let's blow this popsicle stand!"

And together they trooped out in the light of the setting sun of hundreds of jack-o-lanterns in the distance.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Wendy was super late. What was going on with her? She raced through the town to make it to the Shack and meet up with Dipper and the others. She was dressed in her usual attire, but this time shredded, and with ears and a tail to match. Much like the wolf form she had taken when they had gone through the portal, and wound up in the monster variation of Gravity Falls. She almost felt guilty that part of the reason for the costume was to see how Dipper would react.

Crap, girl! Get it together," she muttered under her breath as she ran. "We have to stop a demon god from returning tonight! I can't spend time thinking about how a boy is going to look at me! That's the stuff of angsty teenage horror stuff!"

But mentioning that made her want to watch more ridiculous B horror flicks with Dipper again. She really needed to get a grip of it all! They had said they would be friends, and that was the end of it! What had happened in that other world was just some stupid animal instincts! That was all!

But then again, having her friends nearly murdered by some entity she couldn't stop made her realize once again how much they both meant to her. Dipper held a particularly fond place in her heart. He was a great guy, even if too young for her. And he done a great job at keeping his promise to be her friend. They just didn't make dudes like him anymore.

She sighed and resigned herself to the awkward feels of the night, went someone honked at her. She pulled up quickly and turned to see Thompson's van pull up. He rolled down the windows and some strangely familiar music hit Wendy's ears. She felt somewhat woozy and could hardly focus as Thompson called out to her.

"Hey Wendy! Hurry up and jump in the van!"

"Wendy! Wendy! Wendy," the other chanted from within, punching the car's roof.

"W-What is it, Thompson" Wendy asked, trying to shake the odd feeling.

"We're all going to the dance at the school tonight," he smiled.

Wendy narrowed her eyes and noticed that her friend seemed a little shaken himself, and little bleary eyed too. However, she walked closer to the van, taking in her friends, who were now all yammering about the dance.

"I thought you dudes didn't want to go to some lame dance," she asked.

"That was before we saw those awesome invitations and posters," Robbie said quickly. "They made the whole thing look so dark and cool! Like the inner workings of my soul. If there was ever going to be a legit school dance, this one would be it! Everyone is going!"

"And since when did you care about what everyone else was doing," Wendy pressed, poking her head into the van.

"Come on Wendy! The dance will be lame if you're not there," Lee complained.

"Wendy, what else could you possibly have to do," Tambree asked. "Going trick-or-treating with the kids?"

"Well," Wendy began to say.

"If you're wondering, I told Dipper and Mabel to swing by the dance tonight," Nate said, grinning. There was something off about the look on his face, but Wendy couldn't make it out. The music sounded wrong in her ears, but she couldn't place why either. "They'll come and get you then. I know Dipper was anxious to have you along for whatever adventure they have for tonight!"

"Look Wendy," Robbie added. "You can have it all! Hang out with the cool guys. That's us. And then go hang with the losers after you dance a little. Makes sound sense to me."

Tambree nodded. "Yes. Do it, Wendy!"

"Wendy! Wendy! Wendy!"

How could she say no to that? She knew she had to, but instead Wendy clambered into the van, and they drove off to the school.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"What a masterful plan," Mark gloated to Madladl. "That hypnotism spel you gave me worked like a charm! I was able to get them to capture her! Wendy will arrive shortly."

Through the magic that Madladl had given him, Mark controlled Wendy's gang and had them pick her up. It turned out that Robbie had some kind of mind control music already on hand. With a little tweaking from afar, Mark made it even more potent. Everything was falling into place for tonight.

"And I see you had the stones arranged properly," Madladl observed, as a shadow.

"Yes, it was not difficult at all," Mark boasted.

Twelve large slabs in the shape of coffins ringed the dance floor in a a perfect circle. Twelve couples would crawl onto them and offer themselves up as sacrifices for the big show tonight. In the center, Mark would dance with Wendy and all his dreams would finally be fulfilled!

"Yesssss, the night has finally come! On this special occasion, when the boundaries between worlds are naturally blurred, there is a chance for magical things to happen. And with the power I have pulled from the Tscheapwhetzar's portal and touch, I have everything I need!"

"The Selzer Water what now?"

"Never mind," Madladl snorted. "Just be ready to greet your prize at the door. I want to be swift about this. I cannot allow those Pines to stop me again. I have pulled minions from the darkness to impede their way. But I have learned to not trust the job until I have seen it finished. With my own hands!"

Mark bobbed his head obediently. All that mattered was that he was going to be with Wendy after tonight.

"You got it, Madladl. I'll be waiting for her up front!' And with that, he dashed off with a goofy grin across his face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dipper and the rest marched along the streets of Gravity Falls. They had been joined as they entered town b Grenda and Candy, dressed a princess and ghost. They admired Mabel's bizarre handiwork as they went from house to house, gathering candy. After a few houses and doors, Dipper allowed himself to relax somewhat and enjoy getting the candy.

Grunkles Ford and Stan stood off to the side and used strange devices to check for weirdness and magic. There was nothing beyond the normal oddness that was Gravity Falls. Soon, their baskets were weighed down by the amount of candy they had collected.

"This is way different than the last time we did this," Dipper commented.

"I know, right? We still have the threat of imminent death hanging over us, but this feels totally chillaxed," Mabel laughed.

"I just wonder where Wendy is?"

Mabel got a glint in her eye and asked, "Oh? Is that so? Dipper, I thought you and her had already sorted everything out between you."

"We have," Dipper sighed. "Things just feel complicated again. It might just me overthinking things."

"If that's the case, then you need to follow where those thoughts lead you," Grenda shouted. "Let them take your heart where they long to be, no matter how painful the desires, because that is where you will find fulfillment!"

"Did you read that in a book somewhere," Dipper asked anxiously.

"Of course she did. It is from the twenty-second volume of Werewolf bare Chest," Candy informed him.

"My favorite in the series after volume 13! It has a lot of scenes that I don't fully understand, but whenever my mom reads them she goes into the bathroom for a long time," Grenda said.

Ford coughed and said, "Focus! We need to find out where Madladl is hiding his ritual. The lack of readings is very suspicious to me."

"Did someone say suspicious," a sickeningly cute voice called out. "Like in how suspicious it is that my dear Mabel's hand is empty and needs someone to hold it?"

Gideon walked out from behind a bush, followed by a number of bikers. He was dressed in his sheriff's uniform from during Weirdmaggedon. That gave Dipper bad vibes. Gideon seemed to not notice that his choice in his costume was in very poor taste and tried to kiss Mabel's hand. Before he could, Dipper's twin had pulled away and Stan had conjured a broom from out of nowhere and proceeded to slap the butterball around.

"There's just no getting used to some pests! If you want to hang around, then you'll have to help," Stan said angrily. "All of you! I mean it!"

The look in his eyes made even the bikers hesitate and look to Gideon for directions.

Gideon pulled back, disgruntled, and brushed himself off while asking, "What are y'all doing tonight? Besides looking gorgeous and collecting sweets, I mean."

"We're looking for anything strange that will lead us to where a god called Madladl is," Ford explained impatiently. "We need to stop the ritual he is performing that will bring him back to full strength. So unless you know of anything completely out of ordinary happening tonight, then you can go into the woods and comb them for anything strange!"

Ghosteyes, ever Gideon's shadow, spoke up. "Unless you count an oddly successful high school dance as out of the ordinary, then there hasn't been anything. I mean, things might have changed since I went to high school, but those kinds of shindigs were always super lame! Everything went downhill after the 8os, that's for sure."

"And what a magical time those years were," Gideon agreed. "So Mabel, wanna accompany me for a romantic stroll through the forest this Halloween night, looking for evil? I promise to protect you!"

"Ugh! Get a grip Gideon! I will never, ever date you! Now come on guys, we need to get going!"

Ford, however, started looking thoughtful, which immediately caught Dipper's attention. "What are you thinking about, Great Uncle Ford?"

"He's thinking about all the times he missed out on getting the girls back in high school," Stan laughed, clapping his brother on the back.

"You're not very far off," Ford said, surprising Stan. "High school dances have always been very awkward and strange. And you say that this one is successful? That might just be it…"

"What is it," Mabel asked, cocking her head to the side.

Ford smiled and explained, "High school is a like Gravity Falls compressed into a moment of time. That is why we have not picked up Madladl's activity! He is hiding behind the haze of high school drama, awkwardness, and general weirdness. But he gave himself away by having a dance that people actually want to go to of their own volition! Which… Which would mean he is going to sacrifice the attendees."

Everyone paled a little, and Dipper cried out, "Wendy must be there! That is why she is not here! We need to save her!"

"You're right Dipper! We need to get there immediately and stop whatever that fallen god is planning," Ford agreed.

"The stopping running the lips and start running those feet," Stan hollered, already leading the charge. "Follow me!"

The gang, including Gideon and his followers, raced off towards the school. That was when the shadows finally pounced. One of them grabbed a biker and hauled him into the sky, the man shrieking as disappeared into the darkness.

"Wow! Nice special effects," a kid shouted from a yard, as he and his friends retreated with their candy.

"We need to protect everyone," Grenda gasped.

"Leave it to me," Mabel said with a wink.

She lifted her arm, the cyberpunk attachments spinning and glowing pink as they came to life. A palm gun formed in her and hand and started firing kitten heads at the shadows. The strange beasts hesitated for a moment.

"Mabel! How are you doing that," Dipper exclaimed.

"My new knitting needles allow me to create whatever kind of clothes I want Dipper," she explained smugly. "And I gave you a nice boost, too. Try out that magnifying glass!"

Dipper pulled it out and asked, "What do I do with it?'

"What any boy does with a magnifying glass! Burn things!"

"But there's no light," he protested.

"It's magic Dipper, get with the program," Stan shouted, trying to punch a shadow, but to no avail.

It picked him and started carrying him to the sky. Dipper pulled out the glass a he would a sword and pointed it at his Grunkle, feeling a little foolish. Suddenly light formed in the glass and a bean of bright fire shot out and consumed the shadow. Stan plunged back to the pavement, and was caught by Ford. They landed in a heap.

"Mabel! This is awesome," Dipper gushed. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome, Sir Dipping Sauce," Mabel replied happily, charging her other fist and punching a shadow behind her, sending it crumbling to the floor.

The shadows quickly saw that their prey would not fall so easily, and that they had a bite. In response, they started eating each other. As they devoured one another, they became more solid, and started taking more sinister shapes. Rotten dragons, many headed trolls, and skeletons with many grasping claws started forming and bore down on the Pines and their allies.

"Stand back guys," Soos declared. "It's time for this handyman, now owner of the Mystery Shack to throw down!"

He held aloft his bracelet, and it lit up with a small, blue light.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Wendy climbed out of the van and was greeted by Mark. She felt a vague and surpassed wave of resentment towards him, but other than that, she felt cloudy inside. Her mind was not working properly. She knew that by now. She just didn't know how to act.

Mark took her by the hand and whispered, "Come, my queen. The dance floor is ready for us, and everyone is waiting."

He thanked her friends, and they followed dutifully. Wendy barely noticed that girls came and hooked arms with Thomson, Nate, and Lee. They fell behind Robbi and Tambree in a line following herself and mark into the school. The gym was very well decorated! Even in her confused state, Wendy could appreciate how cool everything looked. It was the right dark atmosphere for a Halloween dance.

Twelve large, black stone slabs that reminded her of coffins were laid out across the gym's floor. A few couples were making out on top of them. Mark continue to lead her to the center of the dance floor. Wendy thought she heard a voice from somewhere urging them to be quick. Mark said something and then whispered in her ear.

"I'll make sure that they play our song, and then the fun will begin."

Wendy knew that something was wrong, but still, she felt she could barely resist it. Her mind was just too muddled. As Mark left her on the dance floor and scuttled off to talk to the DJ, cold hands gripped her shoulders.

An evil voice whispered in her ear, "Welcome to my new birthday, Wendy Corduroy."

9-14 20-8-9-19 20-15-23-14 23-5 3-1-12-12 8-15-13-5

5-22-5-18-25-15-14-5 8-1-9-12 20-15 20-8-5 4-1-18-11 15-14-5'19 19-15-14-7!


	20. Episode 20 - Madladl

Barreling into the horde of shadows, the Mystery Twins used their special costumes to wreak havoc on the smaller monsters. Dipper was wielding his magnifying glass like a lasso and was burning them up and Mabel shot kitty lasers to wonderful effect. Grenda and Candy followed behind, using the dimensional buckets to suck up the stragglers who tried to attack from behind. But even with their powers, the shadows that had started eating one another quickly regrouped and continued to get larger and larger.

Ford whipped out two blasters and laid some cover fire for the kids, allowing them continued their drive for the school. Motorcycle engines roared to life behind him and the biker gang sprang from the bushes. Gideon sat in a booster seat behind Ghosteyes and called out orders.

"We gotta get these here heroes to the school! Boys, quickly, pick everyone up and let's make these vile villains eat our dust!"

As the gang hollered their battle cries, one of the shadow monsters came crashing to the front line. It was hideous beast with many ogre heads and four long arms ending in spindly clawed fingers. Its body was bulbous and it was able to block the road, just as the gang scooped up the technically teenagers.

"Boss! We got nowhere to go," Ghosteyes fretted.

"You will soon dudes," Soos cried out happily, waving his fat arm in the air.

There was a thundering noise in the distance and metal parts flew on rockets right for the handyman. He beamed triumphantly as McGucket's inventions wrapped themselves around Soos and he was soon encased in the body of an anime warrior robot. Complete with gunsword, just as he had always dreamed about.

From the loudspeakers inside the suit, Soos grunted, "Oof! It's a little more cramped than I was expecting. I think I should have given McGucket my real proportions and not the anime ones I wished I had. But here we go anyway! Watch out dudes!"

Even if he was clunky on his feet, Soos laid into the lumbering shadow beast with his sword. As he skewered it, the blubbery body ruptured and spewed grey matter and slim all over the street and the bikers. More dark hands came out of the night and yanked the ruined corpse towards more hungry mouths. A massive serpent arose and snaked its way all around Soos' mech suit.

"The way is clear for the moment! Go," Ford yelled. "We'll take care of things here!"

As the bikers tore down the road, Mabel shouted out to Dipper, "Do really think we should leave them behind? We do better when we stick togethe family!"

"We have each other," Dipper shouted back, reminding her. "We can do this! We need to do everything we can to stop Madladl!"

"Oh my! Isn't this sibling bond you've got going on just the most precious, sweetest thing," Gideon gushed.

"I'm sorry man, but you're kinda ruining the moment," Ghosteyes said. "And I'm saying that as your lifelong prison bro."

As they sped off, the shadows split, one group chasing after the bikers, while the rest dealt with the adults. Trick-or-treaters were now all fleeing for the safety of their homes and the jack-o-lanterns were being blown out. In the growing darkness the older Pines and Soos fought on. Grunkle Stan yelled as he took a running jump and flew into the air to slug the serpent in the face. It hissed before recoiling somewhat. As it loosened its body, Soos was able to get a grip on it and swing it off of him. He used the creature as a club and bowled over more of the strange monsters and they continued to feast on one another and change.

"These things were easier to kill when they were smaller," Ford griped.

"We need a way of leveling the odds against us," Stan snarled, getting behind Soos as the mech suit started taking hits from the shadows.

"Stanley, you're a genius," Ford suddenly cried out over the screeching of shadows and metal clashing. "Evening the odd."

"Bro, you are finally losing it," Stan said, shaking his head before clocking another shadow creature. "Any old idiot could have told you that!"

"Yes, but it came from an old idiot who always stacks the odds in his favor. Even if it is with gum, which we happen to have something just like that, only more powerful!"

"Wait, you saw that?"

"Stanley," Ford said, rolling his eyes. "I'm not blind to see how you cheat. I know better than anyone else what to look for when you do. Now did those kids drop any of the… Aha! Here we go!"

Ford held up some of McGucket's knockout candy triumphantly over his head. He tossed a few pieces to his twin and told him to unwrap them start aiming for the gaping maws all around them. Winding up for the pitch and then letting them have it, the older Pines managed to quickly knock out a number of the shadows with the candy. The giant serpent swooped down on each victim and hastily swallowed them, slowly evolving to become more like a towering dragon of oozing shadows.

"Mr. Pines and Ford, this guy is getting really big," Soos said warily. He slapped the monster with his gunsword, but to no avail. "And I can't slice and dice this bad boy up. What are we gonna do?'

Ford and Stan gulped as the dragon used other shadows coming out of itself to snatch up the rest of its brethren and devour them. It was now a towering beast, scaly, with a dozen wings, and all kinds of eyes running along its body. It was just as big, if not bigger than Bill when he had fought the Shacktron. Even Soos' mech suit was dwarfed by the creature. It peeled out a thunderous roar and dove for them. The two Grunkles managed to leap out of the way, but Soos was tossed high into the sky.

"Do we have anymore candy," Stan asked, shaken.

"No! We're completely out," Ford answered, calling over to his brother.

"Well hot Belgian waffles, how do you even take down a dragon?"

"With another dragon," a voice roared overhead.

The mech suit came steaking down and slammed the shadow dragon in the face, knocking it off balance. However, Soos had not been the one to fall with such great trajectory. Instead, it was Conrad the dragon who had caught Soos and flung him down. He now descended in a storm of fire and latched onto the back of the shadow dragon's neck. The creature yelped out in pain. Shadowy claws sprang from its body to pry Conrad off.

Whipping out his blasters once more, Ford shouted, "Soos! Get up and aim for those shadows limbs protruding from the beast's body! If we can give Conrad some time, he should be able to bring it down!"

"Right, on it dude," Soos replied, aiming his gunsword at the claws.

Together, they managed to keep the extra limbs and claws off of Conrad and he tore into the flesh of the beast. It tried using spells from its extra eyes to blast Conrad off its back, but Stan would not be left behind in this fight. He came with a discarded lead pipe from the street and started bashing in the eyes he could reach as the dragon was crushed to the ground under the other dragon's weight.

The combined efforts finally took their toll, and Conrad ripped the spine right out of the other dragon. It exploded into black goop that started to quickly evaporate.

Retching, Stan said, "Yuck! I got a mouthful of that stuff! Nothing is going to taste right ever again!"

Wipping his glasses clean as best he could, Ford replied, "Maybe, maybe not. Bt we are alive. Thank you, Conrad! You have our deepest thanks."

"Not at all! I was getting a little bored by myself in the mountains. And then I could feel the presence of something really bad coming into the valley. I flew here as fast as I could, and I got some others to come and help out as well. They should be arriving shortly."

"Who is coming," Soos asked.

Conrad gave him a toothy grin and said, "You'll see."

Soon, coming out of the gloom of the forest and onto the deserted roads, columns of gnomes started marching. They were followed manotaurs, the Multibear, and other strange creatures, including a unicorn. Jeff the leader of the gnomes came forward and puffed out his chest.

"We've almost lost this valley once before to a monster from another dimension. If we can help stop the same thing from happening a second time, you can count us in!"

Ford heaved a sigh of relief. "Then this should be doable. We need to hurry up and catch up with the kids. I don't know what could have befallen them, and there was an army of similar shadow monsters that chased after them."

"Then climb on my back, and we'll go to them," Conrad invited.

As Stan and Ford climbed onto the dragon's shoulders, Soos held his sword aloft and shouted, "Creatures of the Falls, rally around my sword, and follow me! Gosh, I always wanted to say something cool lie that. Wish Melony could have heard me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As Wendy danced with mark in the middle of the floor, she knew something was wrong. It was so aggravating that she could barely think or react as she was led along. She could see the dark shadow playing about the floor out of the corner of her eye. She saw her friends making out on stone slabs. Thompson kissing Mary Sue? How did that girl always get so lucky?

But it was the look in Mark's eye that tipped her and had her clawing against whatever mental barrier there was. It was the look of a predator. A rabid creature on the hunt who had finally cornered its prey and was getting ready for some fun. Chills ran down her spine. Goosebumps raised on her arms.

"Wendy, what do you think of this dance," Mark asked her slyly.

"It's great," Wendy said, the words tumbling out of her mouth without her consent. _It has to be the music! Dipper once said that Robbie was trying to brainwash me! Did Mark do something like that through Robbie's music? Or some other way?_

Thinking about Dipper made her stomach swoop and her chills grew stronger. But so did her clarity.

"Yeah, it was a lot of work getting this all together," Mark bragged. "But it was worth it for you. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Dipper."

Mark's face visibly paled and he snarled, "What did you just say?"

A real smile came across Wendy's face. Something about that awkward thirteen-year-old was breaking whatever hold her ex-boyfriend held over her.

"Dipper," Wendy repeated, as an explosion rumbled outside, above the din of the music. "And it sounds like he is coming."

Mark fretted, "Madladl! What is going on? I thought she was under our control!"

The shadow rose to greet them and it started taking shape. "Very interesting… Hmm, I can see it now. Quick, my shaman! We must move before they get here!"

A dark hand waved in front of Wendy's face and she felt herself slipping again back into the same terrible stupor. She fought as hard as she could to keep her sanity. She gritted and her teeth and crushed Mark's hand in her own, causing him to shout with just needed to hold out for her friends to arrive.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"We're almost there," Gideon giggled.

"And we still have these guys chasing us," Grenda shouted, gesturing to the speeding shadows behind them.

"And this is where my wittle ol' plan comes in," Gideon said with a gracious wink.

"Don't tell me you still have some kind of magic on you," Dipper said crossly. "I thought you gave that stuff up!"

"Wha? Me? Dipper old friend, you should know by now that I am a man of my word. My word!" As he said that, some old piece of paper flew out from underneath his helmet and out of his hair. He caught it, and stuffed it away safely, but not before the twins saw the title 'Infatuation Potion' labeled across the top. "My word, look at that! No, what I have in mind is Bernard's shrooms."

"You're going to use psychedelic Smurf houses on monsters," Candy wondered.

"Heavens to Betsy no," Gideon laughed, pulling a small plastic bag of strange mushroom out of his pocket. "I caught Bernard trying to eat these mushrooms a while back. From my investigating in Journal #2, I discovered that some of Gravity falls' fungi can explode! Wee! Well, I never figured much a use for the disgusting things, but I took them away from the poor soul, bless his heart, so he wouldn't combust in his tummy! Now, I have a good use for them after all!"

"They just looked so good," Bernard the biker said in his defense.

"So how do we use them," Mabel shouted.

"My sweet, it couldn't be easier! We simply have to rub them, and with enough friction, they'll blow up!"

Gideon opened his bag and tossed a few mushrooms to each biker and kid. They quickly began rubbing them together and lobbing them like grenades behind themselves. The night lit up with explosions and some of shadows screamed and veered off. Others were consumed and some still pressed on. Mabel continued to fire laser kitten heads at them, screaming out, "Pow-pow!"

"Uh, guys," Dipper called out. "Look, they're doing more combining!"

One of the shadow creatures with a gapping jaw began scooping its smaller comrades into its mouth and swallowed them whole. It started changing into a towering, dark clown with still massive, open maw. Its teeth were thousands of bloody knives and it cackled as it chased after them.

"I hate clowns! Kill it," Grenda shouted.

"But the mushrooms are having zero effect," Candy wailed.

"Hang on, girls! I got this," Mabel said stoutly.

She whipped out her magic knitting needles and got right to work.

"Mabel, what are you doing over there," Dipper asked, holding onto his hat as he ducked the clown's hand.

"You'll see," Mabel said happily, tossing a small ball of yarn over her shoulder that she was still adding to.

The ball rolled its way up the clown leg and the strand of yarn got longer and longer. It began snaking its way around the monster's legs and tripped it up. Mabel kept working furiously, producing a long and longer strand. It kept working, coiling all around the clown's great body and binding it tightly in place. The other shadows stopped chasing the biker gang for a while, and the feeding frenzy began.

"Yuck! But it was clown, so it deserved that! Good job Mabel!"

"Thanks, Grenda," Mabel beamed.

Ghosteyes spoke up, "This is a touching moment, y'all. Here we are, once enemies, now allies and friends, battling against unknown monsters as we speed to rescue your dear fiend and the noodle armed boy's obvious love interest. Who would have thought this could happen at the beginning of the summer when y'all met?"

"My love interest? Who said anything about my love interest," Dipper stammered.

"Come on Dip," Ghosteyes said. "That fiery redhead isn't with you guys right now, and you two rocked as a team during Wierdmageddon, so it's obvious you are trying to save her right now. Also, it was too precious then for it to not be rbought up now. Come on, it's the full circling of your personal arc! Life has a very meta way of dealing with us, bringing together small elements from throughout our story to a head when we least expect it. This is what makes the climax of a major event in your life what it is! You have to be able to read the signs for what they are set your journey accordingly."

"Remind me how you came into prison again," Mabel asked.

"Nevermind that! We're almost at the school guys, so everyone be prepared," Dipper cried out, though he was feeling a little hot under the collar after what Ghosteyes had said.. "We have no idea what Madladl is up to, but we have to stop him at all costs!"

As everyone called out their agreement, something fell out of the sky and crashed in front of them causing all of the bikers to pull up abruptly. Towering over the gang was a headless giant, with a grinning mouth splashed across its powerful chest. It wielded a giant axe and had it poised to swing. Gideon let out a sigh.

"Dipper, Mabel, this where we must part ways tonight. You gotta keep on going and this bad boy isn't going to go down easy! The high school is just up ahead, so get going and give the bad guy a right hook from me!"

"Thanks man," Dipper grinned and hopped off the motorcycle.

"I did see that page coming out of your hair, Gideon," Mabel said sternly. "So, don't think that doing this means it didn't happen."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Now get going my sweet!"

"I'm not your sweet anything," Mabel screamed, throwing her arms to the side and letting out a blast of energy from her costume that caused the now-swinging axe to hit off the mark.

"Come on Mabel! We need to go back up Dipper," Candy urged, helping Mabel along.

The girls followed Dipper as the bikers now all ringed around the headless giant, hooting and hollering to try and confuse it. Even though it didn't have a head. Gideon grinned devilishly. He obviously still had a plan for dealing with this kind of problem.

Pulling out one more mushroom he giggled, "The bigger they are, they harder they fall! And I should know from personal experience!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dipper kicked the doors to the gym open and shouted, "Wendy! We're here to get you!"

His voice nearly died in his throat as he saw the scene before him. All of the teens and teachers were in a kind of trance, watching Wendy dance with a guy all clad in black. And they were dancing in the air! What's more, they were in the middle of a pillar of brilliant light surrounded by twelve stone slabs that had other couples on them, all making out heavily and grossly. He saw Robbie and Tambry going at it, and there were Nate, lee, and Thompson also smooching girls.

Another shadow appeared like a snake, writing around Wendy and the other guy. It wriggled in the air before sliding quickly in Dipper's direction and took form before him. Once again, he felt dwarfed before another one of these monsters. As he began to wonder how many more of them he would face, he stopped as he realized that he was facing the god they had come to stop.

Madladl looked far different from how he had before. Standing nearly as tall as a house, he had a proud, black eagle's head with a helmet of stone and many horns creating a kind of crown. His chest had a hole where his heart should have been. Six long, black, feathery arms were poised to snatch him up with cruel claws. He had legs and feet much like a human's, but also ending in claws.

Laughing triumphantly, the god bragged, "It is too late Dipper Pines! Though I now realized, almost too late as it were that my sacrifice tonight would have been better with you in the circle with the girl Wendy, you cannot stop me now! With the power of the Realms of Imagination left open by the Invader now sustaining me, this rebirthing ritual will make me more powerful than I could have ever hoped! You have lost!"

Snapping one of his claws, black fire rose up around the boy Wendy was with. He cried out, but soon laughed in astonishment as he became garbed in robes and armor that mirrored Madladl's own look.

"My shaman, Mark Epstine, might be a real idiot, but he is all I have to work with. So now I'll finish the rite, but first I will get rid of you!"

A beam of pink energy took Madladl right in the face and threw him backwards.

"Dipper! The cavalry is here!" Mabel and her friends now brought up the real.

Madladl reached for Dipper, but Candy used the dimension candy bag that she had retained to catch the monstrous claw. It disappeared into the bag and never came out. Madladl screamed in pain and rage, causing the entire building to tremble. Another explosion went off, rocking the place even more, and everyone fell to the ground, including the god.

Glancing to his shaman, Madladl commanded, "Mark, ascend into the further light with your love! Sacrifice the others and give me my full life!"

The kids cried out with dismay as they saw Wendy dragged up the pillar and the other teens started kissing more sluggishly. Their skin also started changing color, becoming more zombie-like by the second. Madladl became much more sharply defined and an aura began to form around him. Just then, the ceiling gave way, and Conrad the dragon descended on the god, throwing him once more the ground.

"Watch out to not crush the others" Ford warned the dragon.

"Watch out yourself! I've got a score to settle with this guy for messing with my niece and nephew!" Grunkle Stan launched himself into the air and punched Madladl.

The god shook off the blow and easily swept Stan aside, growling. He threw Conrad off of him and started getting up. Soos tore into the gym with his mech suit and tried to impale the birdish god with his gunsword. Madladl caught the blade and stopped it from piercing his chest.

"Nice move, bird-god-dude," Soos said. "But I have a better one!"

The laser fired off and Madladl was thrown through the opposite wall.

"Boosh! Mess with the best and get shot like that other guy! Wait… That sounded better in my head," Soos said.

"Watch out," Candy shouted, pointing.

"You think you've won, but with all this energy now coming into me, I am unstoppable!" Madladl came back into the room through the hole, and he looked even bigger and stronger now. His hand had regrown, and he was pissed. He spat up a cloud of darkness and from it more monsters started to appear.

"Oh, come on! How many of these guys do we have to fight," Mabel complained, frustrated.

"Keep it together Mabel, we can still win," Ford reminded her. "We've beaten worse odds before! We can do it again!"

"We just need to stop this ritual," Dipper pointed out, as the creatures of the Falls began pouring into the gym to fight. Not missing a beat, Dipper shouted to Multibear, "Toss me at Wendy! Up there!"

The bear cradled Dipper for a second and then heaved him up to the pillar. Shadows shot out after Dipper, but they were melted away by Conrad's breath attack. Madladl also swooped in to snatch Dipper from the air, but Soos tackled him back. Dipper entered the pillar and started swinging his fists.

"This one is courtesy of Gideon! This one is for my family! And this is nor Wendy!"

With each declaration, Dipper threw a punch. First a right hook, then a left hook. And then a punch right to mark's eye. The teen had no idea what was going on and could not defend himself from Dipper. With the spell interrupted and the shaman's attention now divided. Wendy finally came to.

She added, "And this one if for Dipper!"

Wendy uppercut her ex and laid him out flat in the air. She pulled Dipper into a hug and thanked him for coming to rescue her.

"W-Wendy? What just- How did that happen?" Mark got unsteadily to his feet. All three of them were still rising and a black hole had opened in the air above them. "Please, tell me, where did I go wrong?"

"Mark if you don't know where you all went wrong, there is no way I can help you," Wendy said angrily. "Look at this, man! You helped cause all of this!"

"I did it for you," he protested.

"No," Wendy replied coldly. "You did this for yourself."

Dipper gasped as Wendy charged Mark and got him in a grappling hold. Mark fought back and started cursing.

"I can't let it end this way! I came so far!"

"Only to lose it all," Wendy screamed as she got underneath mark and heaved him over her shoulders. "I will never be yours!"

With one last great effort, she threw him upwards and fell back into Dipper. Something in the black hole took a hold of Mark, and with one last scream, he was sucked away. Madladl let loose his own howl that again shook the building. The entranced teens kept watching, completely oblivious to the chaos raging all around them.

"That won't do! I will take all of your lives and then use it fuel my powers and usher in a new age! Dipper and Wendy, I will bind your hearts together and devour their strength! For I am not trickster like my sister, or a warrior like my brother was before me! No, I am the matchmaker! My power is over love! And it will sustain me!"

"Really," Stan laughed and coughed, as he finally got to his feet. Something about that call got the god's attention. "Look pal, I have done a lot of terrible things in my life, but I know what love for someone else. And it may get very, very messy. Maybe even ending the world kind of messy. But that looks very different from what you are doing!

"Love for others allows you to move any obstacle! You sacrifice yourself for those you care about. But you did not do that! I saw you in the past, vision, thing whatever. You ate your siblings. You didn't fight for them. You are using up others right now! This isn't love! It's lust, as again, I should know better than anyone else. So, can it with all your speeches and taunting!"

Ford and Mabel became a little teary eyed. "Well said, Stanley."

Madladl was furious. "No mortal can stand to condemn me! You will die along with the rest of your family for their insolence!"

Dipper and Wendy cried out as their hearts were gripped and their energy was drained from them. The other teen pairs dropped and stopped moving. The ritual was nearly complete. Madladl was going to rise to power once more. But then, something terrible floated on the wind, and the sky lit up once more, like sunset, tinged with the colors of the Chaos Dimension.

And the laugh came. It was Bill Cipher's laugh. A beam of energy fell through the sky and hit Madladl. Instantly, all of the drained vitality returned to the teens from whence it was stolen. The spell broke and everyone who was hypnotized came to. The god began shrinking and started losing his form. His minions puffed out of existence. The pillar of light was extinguished, and Soos barely managed to catch Dipper and Wendy as they fell.

"No! Bill Cipher was gone! How did he return? What is this magic," Madladl cried out.

He cut off short as Conrad leaped onto him once more. The god and dragon wrestled, but with Madladl's fleeting powers, he could stop Conrad from pinning him and prying his beak open. Conrad exhaled one more torrent of fire and it flooded the god. Madladl finally exploded in a burst of light and was no more. Everyone was left shocked for a brief moment, and then the cheer went up. It was over, and they had won.

Things rushed by in a flurry of activity. Wendy ran to her friends and embraced them, thankful they were now alright. Ford was looking for traces of Bill Cipher, but could not find him anywhere. Mabel, Dipper, and Stan all hugged and were soon tackled by all kinds of celebrating creatures. Soos took over as DJ and started playing some better quality music than what you normally hear at teen parties. Gideon arrived all covered in slim. He had jumped into the giant's mouth and blown it up from the inside.

As the celebration started picking up, people returned to dancing. Kids and parents came from all over the town to see what had happened and we soon pulled into the dance as well. It was quickly turning into quite the party, though the Pines now felt exhausted. Dipper and Mabel were now free of the force that had tried to kill them in Piedmont. They could finally go home! But… But being back in the Falls was the best. It was Halloween and they had just beaten an evil god! Did they really have to think about school and traveling back to California already? Couldn't they just take a well-deserved nap?

Thankfully, Grunkle Stan put down his foot and said they would stay for a few more days to get sorted out before they returned to Piedmont and monster hunting abroad. "I'm not as young as I used to be, and I'm still sorting out a lot of issues, especially since coming back to this ol' place and realizing I could make more money here at the Shack than monster hunting. But that comes down to Ford. Where is Sixer anyway?"

As they looked for Ford, Wendy took Dipper's hand and pulled him away through the crowd. Stand found his brother in a hallway near the gym, lost in deep thought.

"Hey, Ford! We need to talk about some things," Stan began.

"I agree, Stanley. There's a lot to contemplate."

"Contem-what now?"

Ford sighed. "That was Bill's voice we heard, and that was his power that weakened Madladl. I'm sure of it. That means that he is indeed still out there somehow. Our fight against him didn't work! But I need to know how!"

"Bro," Stan said, concerned. "We need some time to rest and think things over."

"And give Bill time to regroup," Ford snapped.

"We don't know anything," Stan began to say, when a calm rumbled over them.

"Yes, you are still ignorant to what is really going on. It is time you get your answers." The twins were enveloped in a cloud of darkness and stars. They pooped right before the Axolotl. "Welcome, Brothers Pines. Stanford, I spoke to you after the Battle of Stardust, though I purposefully removed that full memory. It will not be restored to yet. Not until you need it. In the meantime, there is someone you must speak with."

The great being quickly disappeared and the twins were pulled through the nothingness of space to a large spaceship that was built to look like T-Rex. It was enormous! To Ford it looked like it could swallow entire planets. They stopped right before its maw and were greeted by a figure in flowing robes, splattered with fresh gore, and raised hood. Red eyes glowed underneath hood and looked back at them with glee.

Smiling, the stranger addressed them, "So this is what the all-powerful and knowing Axolotl wanted of me! How delightful! This is definitely worth delaying my report to the Guardians!"

"Who are you," Ford stammered.

"I'm the one who I can see has caused you all a little more pain than was due, but you made it out all right, and that's what counts!"

"Speak plainly," Stan snapped. "Some of us don't have minds like Ford's here."

The figure smirked and replied, "Very, very few have a mind like your brother's. In any case, let me introduce myself. I'm the Tscheapwhetzar. And yes, that is a real word, don't look so confused. And I have a confession to make: Bill Cipher is very much alive, and I am the one who is responsible for that!"

Ford became crestfallen and asked, "Why would you do that!?"

The Tscheapwhetzar lifted up a forestalling hand and answered, "It was necessary. Just like him crashing your nephew's wedding in the future is necessary. There is a much, much bigger conflict going on. One that I will personally introduce to you both and explain. Don't worry! Your family will not notice you are missing! To them, this will be but an instant! Still, we have something we have to discuss, and maybe we can come to an arrangement…"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Wendy had taken Dipper onto the roof of the school's gym. It was kind of precarious given the recent battle, but up there, they were alone. They sat down together and looked over the town.

"This feels really good. Just like old times," Wendy smiled. "Which really aren't that old yet!"

Dipper laughed and said, "Yeah. I'm glad that you're alright though."

"That's thanks to you, man! That was awesome what you all did back there! I know I was under a spell or something, but I could still register everything that was going on! That was so sweet how you had the Multibear toss you!"

Dipper rubbed his neck. "Thanks Wendy I was a total spurt of the moment kind of a thing."

"Well, it was totally radical, my dude," Wendy replied.

They both jumped as they realized that their fingers had intertwined. They let go together and looked away, sheepishly.

"Dipper, you know I'm still old for you, right?"

Sighing, he answered, "Yes. I know."

Wendy leaned back a little bit and said, "But that sounds like such a lame argument after everything we've done. And especially tonight. You really saved my butt, and all of my friends too. You and your family are amazing! Ah, what the heck."

Wendy swooped onto Dipper and laid a kiss right on his lips. It was awkward, they were at an uncomfortable angle. But after the initial shock, they both melted into it, and held each other for a good, long minute.

When they finally broke apart, Wendy laughed. "Well, how was your first kiss?"

"Better than my first one actually," Dipper said blushing.

"Wait, I'm not your first? Who was it? Pacifica?"

"Um, no… A merman," Dipper coughed.

"You gotta tell me," Wendy laughed.

As Dipper related the horrible tale of giving Mermando mouth-to-mouth, a new song started playing. He tried to change the subject by saying, "Isn't this 'My Love Can't Stop Going On' by Selena Dijon?"

"What? From that Titanic movie? What a bore! Don't tell me you watched that?"

Dipper laughed nervously and instead of answering asked, "Wendy, want to dance?"

And so they did. It was a whole lot better than their first dance together at the Mystery Shack with Stan's party where Dipper cloned himself. They held one another's hands and spun about, laughing at each other. As the overly long song finally came to a close, Wendy leaned in and this time Dipper was ready. They shared one more kiss. This was not a long one, or an awkward one. Just a sweet one.

"Dipper," Wendy said, pulling back. "We should get back down and enjoy the rest of the party. And… Well, I'm still old for you, okay? But, maybe someday, we'll have this figured out."

"I think we will," Dipper smiled, and together they climbed back down into the gym.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The rest of the night was oddly a success. Despite the presence of a great evil that was almost inexplicably vanquished, Stand and Ford looking as though they had just had their minds blown, the place in ruins, and mythical creatures everywhere, everyone had a good time! Kids played and up and down Conrad's tail. Multibear danced the tango with two teachers at the same time. Jeff drank a minotaur under the table. Robbie got his guitar and rocked out for everyone. Even Pacifica showed up and enjoyed the festivities. And before the night closed, Waddles and Gompers showed up.

Everyone slept in to recover from Halloween.

And as all things coming to an end do, the time for departure arrived out of nowhere. Once more, Dipper and Mabel said goodbye to their friends. More people came out than before to send them off as they clambered into the Stanmobile. Cheers of "We'll see you again soon!", "Christmas next time!", "Watch out for beavers!", and "Good luck in Piedmont" ushered the group from the Falls.

It felt different than the end of the summer. It was a confirmation that life still went on, but growing up was just as adventurous and magical as was staying young. Especially if you threw an evil god into the mix. But it was also good to confirm that the best things always stayed in some compacity or another. At least, that is what Dipper and Mabel thought should be the lessons to take away from this bizarre adventure.

Instead, Stan asked, "Dipper what is your relationship with Wendy?"

Turning red, he answered, "We're just friends."

"Ford pinched the bridge of his nose and said, "Stanley you cannot tell him to not fall in love with the girl! Heck, if I were in his situation, I probably couldn't help myself either!"

"Then you really want to get caught up in all of that? In a war?"

"Guys, what's going" Mabel asked, cradling Waddles.

Stan heaved a sigh and said, "I hope you're buckled up kids, but I have some news for you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mark flew through the expanse of the Realms of Imagination, caught in the streams of a Starline, but at a total loss for where he was or what was going on. He had lost everything! Wendy was in grasp, but he had lost her. Again! But what she had said pierced his heart. Where had he gone wrong? He had gone wrong in so many ways.

But what that really all his fault? Madladl had pushed him to do it! Dipper had interfered! Wendy was the selfish one who had rejected him! Was he solely culpable?

Interrupting his thoughts was a hand that yanked him out of the Starline and into the brilliance of the Realms with all its many stars and mysteries floating about him. Surrounding him where four dark beings. Two were humanoid, and the other two weren't. They had a Presence about them that nearly burned Mark up.

"A snack! I'm gonna eat him!"

"That's what you stopped us for? We have a job to do!"

Mark had no idea what was going before he was swallowed into whatever held him. He felt himself getting broken down and apart. He was dying. He was becoming something else!

 _Wendy!_

That one thought, as it always had, gave him some kind of dark, deeper strength. And he refused to die. He fought against what had taken him in. Mark was not going to be Devoured! He fought back and started Devouring whatever it was that held him. Inside this belly, three powers waged war. An Abomination, Madladl's influence, and Mark's desperation. It went on for an eternity it felt like. Finally, something snapped and Mark came to.

Only, he wasn't Mark anymore. What was he? And who was this redheaded girl? Why did he feel such longing? Why did he feel betrayal and hatred? Who was this demon he needed to find and kill? And what was this thing called a Tscheapwhetzar?

"Well, that was unexpected," a voice said.

He looked up and saw the four beings again. He saw them with clarity now, in all their nightmarish forms. He must have killed the fifth. Or was he the fifth?

One of them a woman asked, "Who are you?"

"I don't know," he answered.

"We'll take him to the King. He'll want to see this," she told the others. "Because this just got very, very interesting."

 _Who am I?_

THE END

THE PINES, GRAVITY FALLS, AND MARK WILL ALL RETURN FOR THE TOWERS OF TIME.

11-5-5-16 25-15-21-18 5-25-15-19 15-16-5-14, 2-5-3-1-21-19-5 20-8-5

1-4-22-5-14-20-21-18-5-19 1-18-5 15-14-12-25 2-5-7-9-14-14-9-14-7!


End file.
